Pashtun Marriage problem (need advice)

[Niceguy91]

I actually agree with Loy Afghanistan in this. You know in our societies having Boyfriend/Girlfriend relation is a big no no and taboo, yet you have the nerves too date a girl for a year without even telling your or her parents. This is a really bad thing you did on your part. It's not a matter of race/ethnicity but a matter of having a relationship before marriage. You are calling yourself muslim, yet you are doing the opposite by having a girlfriend for a year. If you liked the girl, you should have approached your parents and her parents long ago, yet you didn't. Know anything can happen. I am sorry, you could even loose her because of your mistake

Actually my parents know her and have met her multiple time, ever since we realized that we had feelings for each other I introduced her to my parents. When we discussed that we wanted to get married in the future, my mom made it clear to her that she will need to tell her parents about me, and only then can my parents go over and give a rishta (proposal). You can't expect my parents to go to her door without her parents knowing because then they will be like who the heck are you people. However, she requires time and wants to finish her education before she can take this step. If you really need to know, I have not done anything with her, we share feelings but we know our limits. Anything else you want to ask me?

[Smarty]

proud of you brother.

We should treat everyones equal irrespective of his religion let alone nationality or ethnicity.

We are humans first.

It makes me really happy that if Pakistani pashtuns even living in Pakistani are more secular and human than similar from Afghanistan even born and raised in the west.

Even though Pakistan is still conservative society but for Afghanistan it will take atleast 5 decades more to reach Where Pakistan is now and for Pakistan atleast 2 decades more to reach Where turkey is now

You are very patriotic, broad minded and secular paki, would your family accept the marraige proposals from punjabis or indian mohajirs for your sisters?..... I am sure this greasy and smelly bihari niceguy1 do not have any pakhtun girlfriend. It is habit of these indian mohajirs and punjabis that on internet they try to provoke pashtuns by claiming that he has pathani gf and that he is enjoying her.
The fact is greasy hindu looking mohajirs can not go into pashtun areas of karachi let alone having pashtun gf. When pant shirt wearing mohajirs enter into no go area of pashtuns, he is caught and his body is cut with razors.

[Karachi]

You are very patriotic, broad minded and secular paki, would your family accept the marraige proposals from punjabis or indian mohajirs for your sisters?..... I am sure this greasy and smelly bihari niceguy1 do not have any pakhtun girlfriend. It is habit of these indian mohajirs and punjabis that on internet they try to provoke pashtuns by claiming that he has pathani gf and that he is enjoying her.
The fact is greasy hindu looking mohajirs can not go into pashtun areas of karachi let alone having pashtun gf. When pant shirt wearing mohajirs enter into no go area of pashtuns, he is caught and his body is cut with razors.

This part is exaggerated, it doesn't happen like that, unless the guy is part of MQM and saying MQM zindabad or something, then it might. Most of Karachi is pretty mixed up to be honest, there are only few areas you will find which belong to specific ethnicities. My cousin just came from Karachi and he said the violence is completely down between muhajir/pashtuns, especially since MQM/ANP made peace some years back. The violence was mostly triggered by MQM/ANP anyways. Regular people dont like violence, doesn't matter which ethnicity

[Niceguy91]

You are very patriotic, broad minded and secular paki, would your family accept the marraige proposals from punjabis or indian mohajirs for your sisters?..... I am sure this greasy and smelly bihari niceguy1 do not have any pakhtun girlfriend. It is habit of these indian mohajirs and punjabis that on internet they try to provoke pashtuns by claiming that he has pathani gf and that he is enjoying her.
The fact is greasy hindu looking mohajirs can not go into pashtun areas of karachi let alone having pashtun gf. When pant shirt wearing mohajirs enter into no go area of pashtuns, he is caught and his body is cut with razors.

I don't live in Pakistan...

[Smarty]

I don't live in Pakistan...

I just read your previous post, you live in the west....i believe your story because i have heard of the cases in which afghan and paki girls in the west marry even those gorilla looking negros.
If she lives in the west, is besharam enough to hang around with you without knowledge of her beghairat parents....then you dont need to worry, you dont need to marry her...just keep her as your girlfriend in your apartment . There is free society there, her parents cant do a shyt even if she decides to live with you without marraige.
Pashtun is state of mind, that besharma is not a pakhtun. She is a paki influenced by western society.

[Niceguy91]

I just read your previous post, you live in the west....i believe your story because i have heard of the cases in which afghan and paki girls in the west marry even those gorilla looking negros.
If she lives in the west, is besharam enough to hang around with you without knowledge of her beghairat parents....then you dont need to worry, you dont need to marry her...just keep her as your girlfriend in your apartment . There is free society there, her parents cant do a shyt even if she decides to live with you without marraige.
Pashtun is state of mind, that besharma is not a pakhtun. She is a paki influenced by western society.

Thanks man for being so supportive

[Dreamer]

Hello, so I would like to start off by stating that I am not a pathan or pukhtoon from Pakistan. I am actually a mahajir (people who moved to Pakistan during segregation).

I am 23 years old and been living in Canada for most of my life. For a year now I have been seeing a Pathan women who is from Peshawar, Pakistan. She has also been living in Canada for most of her life.

For about two months now, we have decided to talk about marriage because that is something we want in the near future. However, her concern is that her parents might say no just because I am not "pathan". I like to state that I am well educated, have a good job, care and love her a lot, religious and I also live near their house.

She claims that she is 90% sure that her parents want a Pathan for her, and she has even overheard her parents about getting her married off in Pakistan to a Pathan.

So through discussion the female and I have discussed that I will eventually give a rishta to their family and she will stand up for me and try to fight for me. However, she says if they still say no she will have no option but to leave me.

I would like some suggestions or advice from the Pashtun community because I truly love this girl and she loves me as well, and everything is perfect between her and I except her parents (which is a big part). If you have any questions please feel free to ask and I will elaborate further. Thank you.

just ask... you wont know till you do

[RevolutionThroughReason]

I would like some suggestions or advice from the Pashtun community because I truly love this girl and she loves me as well, and everything is perfect between her and I except her parents (which is a big part). If you have any questions please feel free to ask and I will elaborate further. Thank you.

Look to Allah(swt) and the Advice of Nabi(saw)


“There is nothing better for two who love one another than marriage.” Recorded by Ibn Majah. That will be the meaning understood from it, but a better translation is: "There is nothing for two who love one another like marriage."

If you're Muslim and you strive to live a clean and moral life with her, than you are better than 100,000 Pashtuns who do not. Ignore people like Loy Afghanistan and Dummy (falsely calling themselves Smarty), Their iman is weak and they are insecure of their own identity and more over masculinity. These types of guys like Loy Afghanistan and Smarty will molest small boys thinking they're Ghairatmand Pashtuns, but scream in anger that Pashtun women marry Non-Pashtuns.

Allah bless you and your marriage I wish 1000 barakat on both of you.

[RevolutionThroughReason]

You are no Pashtun, respect that please, stop being barbaric and force other your values on our community and society we don't do it to your community.

The question you need to ask yourself is why is a Pashtun woman even willing to entertain the advances of a Non Pashtun man in the first place. He didn't force her to "date" him, she chose to. It's her own fault. This guy didn't impose anything.

f they were educated to fully in Pashtun culture, and traditions like we the few are, they would not go marry outsiders and the girls would behave like true Pashtun girls.

What kind of fantasy world do you live in? Last year a Pashtun woman from TRIBAL BELT, the HEARTLAND of Pashtuns where she grew up around Pashtun culture surrounding her, RAN AWAY to Marry a PUNJABI soldier.

The problem isn't lack of education about Pashtun culture, the problem is Pashtun culture sucks and is backwards, mistreats and abuses women and is outdated. People want something better than what Pashtuns have to offer. Betterment is deeper than what color someone's skin complexion is or some exaggerated history that doesn't exist except in fantasy world.

[mayan]

Hello, so I would like to start off by stating that I am not a pathan or pukhtoon from Pakistan. I am actually a mahajir (people who moved to Pakistan during segregation).

I am 23 years old and been living in Canada for most of my life. For a year now I have been seeing a Pathan women who is from Peshawar, Pakistan. She has also been living in Canada for most of her life.

For about two months now, we have decided to talk about marriage because that is something we want in the near future. However, her concern is that her parents might say no just because I am not "pathan". I like to state that I am well educated, have a good job, care and love her a lot, religious and I also live near their house.

She claims that she is 90% sure that her parents want a Pathan for her, and she has even overheard her parents about getting her married off in Pakistan to a Pathan.

So through discussion the female and I have discussed that I will eventually give a rishta to their family and she will stand up for me and try to fight for me. However, she says if they still say no she will have no option but to leave me.

I would like some suggestions or advice from the Pashtun community because I truly love this girl and she loves me as well, and everything is perfect between her and I except her parents (which is a big part). If you have any questions please feel free to ask and I will elaborate further. Thank you.

1st i am also peshawari pashtun live in peshawar and i pray for you that you will marriage to her ,

but it no depend that u r punjabi or muhajir its all depend on your good conduct good behave , because pathan family are not seem any tribes they see just cast shia sunni syed , and not more seem pathan punjabi balochi or sindhi muhajir any way you should go to asked her parents to take her hand , best of luck

[M17ArnoBaloch]

Pashtuns should only marry pashtuns.

Muhajirs should only marry muhajirs.

pashtuns who think its ok to marry pashtun girls to non pashtuns and vice versa are beghairat and like to sell their women.

-----------------

i seriously feel bad for the pashtun sister. i wish their parents find a pashtun boy for her, and just in case they do, and the pashtun guy gets to hear about his about to be wife had an affair with a mohajir guy, LOL he will not want to hear that and will be pissed as faak.

[M17ArnoBaloch]

No everyone should mix until we are all the same.

Who are you? and why do you have a signature of Pakistan zindabad?

[HalloIsBack]

Pashtuns should only marry pashtuns.

Muhajirs should only marry muhajirs.

pashtuns who think its ok to marry pashtun girls to non pashtuns and vice versa are beghairat and like to sell their women.

-----------------

i seriously feel bad for the pashtun sister. i wish their parents find a pashtun boy for her, and just in case they do, and the pashtun guy gets to hear about his about to be wife had an affair with a mohajir guy, LOL he will not want to hear that and will be pissed as faak.

are not all muslims equal towards allah? is not this what islam teach? there is just one ummah! and not lots of different ummah devided by the ethnicity?

[Smarty]

No everyone should mix until we are all the same.

You are a product of lot of mixed up semen that your mother recieved in hera mundi.

[khushal]

Hello, so I would like to start off by stating that I am not a pathan or pukhtoon from Pakistan. I am actually a mahajir (people who moved to Pakistan during segregation).

I am 23 years old and been living in Canada for most of my life. For a year now I have been seeing a Pathan women who is from Peshawar, Pakistan. She has also been living in Canada for most of her life.

For about two months now, we have decided to talk about marriage because that is something we want in the near future. However, her concern is that her parents might say no just because I am not "pathan". I like to state that I am well educated, have a good job, care and love her a lot, religious and I also live near their house.

She claims that she is 90% sure that her parents want a Pathan for her, and she has even overheard her parents about getting her married off in Pakistan to a Pathan.

So through discussion the female and I have discussed that I will eventually give a rishta to their family and she will stand up for me and try to fight for me. However, she says if they still say no she will have no option but to leave me.

I would like some suggestions or advice from the Pashtun community because I truly love this girl and she loves me as well, and everything is perfect between her and I except her parents (which is a big part). If you have any questions please feel free to ask and I will elaborate further. Thank you.

I don't know how you would handle it in Canada. But in watan, the solution is very simple. The guy would go to the door step of the girls house and shoot off his gun and proclaim the girl as his. That way, if another guy wants her, then he has to challenge the first guy.

But in the end, the fight is more hers than yours. She has to convince her parents, not you.