Marriage to non-Pashtuns

[Khan]

Parsiwaan derives from Farsizubaan, a person who speaks Farsi. So that only refers to your linguistic identity, meaning that you communicate in Farsi and that Farsi is your first language/language you speak at home. But what defines your cultural identity? As you rightfully said, Afghanistan consists of different ethnic groups and each one of these groups have their own set of traditions, their own mentality, their own language - this is the beauty of Afghanistan.

We cannot and must not prostitute this beautiful diversity in the name of false "unity". Unity is not having no cultural and ethnic diversity. Unity is being aware of your cultural, ethnic, national and linguistic identity and at the same time, respecting and embracing others' identities. THAT is true unity, not "I'm Afghan, khalaas, I don't have any further identity."
No, we were blessed with such a diverse background -
I am Pashtun,
I am Tajek,
I am Ghilzai,
I am Duraani,
I am Pashozubaan,
I am Darizubaan,
I am Afghan,
I am Muslim,
I am Sunni,
I am Hanafi

- I am allllll that and ALHAMDULILLAH for that.

Embrace all of what you are, even the controversial parts, even the parts other might not accept. IF we don't accept ourselves.. who will? =)

And welcome on PF, nice having you here =)

I think the others in here should learn alot of things from you, I face alot of disappointment when I see some youths lost in meaningless nationalism and pure racism but at the same time feel really good and happy when I know that bright and broadminded individuals like you still exist.

Keep it up so others look upto you like a rolemodel.

[afghan]

I was just wondering if you were a communist or if your family were? for the technique of trying to portray someone you disagree with as "not knowing" "lost" under influences of "Ashraar" or insignificant is typical commie tricks.

beaderjan you are no diffirent than those farsizuban who takes pride in having one of the parents pashtun, but hates to be a pashtun becuase not fully accepted in afghan society as a pashtun. you must be a desperate shamaliwal who is looking for baseless arguments. No i am not a communist neither was my family, the techniques you are using from Paakies ISI, some one raised their voice against pakies or jihadi were labeled communists or kafir. anyone speaks for pashtun(afghans) is called a racist. afghans have great history, we are proud of our forefathers, that they have their name in the history and we are related to them. i am sure your father is not a pashtun, or may be he is a pashtun like Karmal.

[parsiwaan]

Parsiwaan derives from Farsizubaan, a person who speaks Farsi. So that only refers to your linguistic identity, meaning that you communicate in Farsi and that Farsi is your first language/language you speak at home. But what defines your cultural identity?

Actually Language is culture...and wt are Pashton, Tajik, Uzbak, other then lingual groups?

As you rightfully said, Afghanistan consists of different ethnic groups and each one of these groups have their own set of traditions, their own mentality, their own language - this is the beauty of Afghanistan.

We cannot and must not prostitute this beautiful diversity in the name of false "unity". Unity is not having no cultural and ethnic diversity. Unity is being aware of your cultural, ethnic, national and linguistic identity and at the same time, respecting and embracing others' identities. THAT is true unity, not "I'm Afghan, khalaas, I don't have any further identity."
No, we were blessed with such a diverse background -
I am Pashtun,
I am Tajek,
I am Ghilzai,
I am Duraani,
I am Pashozubaan,
I am Darizubaan,
I am Afghan,
I am Muslim,
I am Sunni,
I am Hanafi

- I am allllll that and ALHAMDULILLAH for that.

Embrace all of what you are, even the controversial parts, even the parts other might not accept. IF we don't accept ourselves.. who will? =)

And welcome on PF, nice having you here =)

The question is where the identification will end...division based on ethnic, then tribes then clan and so on? where? the fact is Afghanistan is a tribal society and people loyalty lays with their tribes not with their ethnic nor with nation...unless and until we don’t think of ourselves as afghan only we will be doomed to be tribal, primitive and a tool at the ends of our enemy… just as Pakistan in90s used Pashton vs Tajik…..Pashton GOlbodin against Tajik Massod, to divide and conquer although ideologically there is no freaking difference between these two Ikhwanis….they are now using mainly Ghalzia vs Durrani…for Taliban are mainly Ghalzia and Kariza a Popalzia Durrani….the point is there needs to end somewhere… we need one nation…one team… everyone playing for their own is disaster!

[parsiwaan]

beaderjan you are no diffirent than those farsizuban who takes pride in having one of the parents pashtun, but hates to be a pashtun becuase not fully accepted in afghan society as a pashtun. you must be a desperate shamaliwal who is looking for baseless arguments. No i am not a communist neither was my family, the techniques you are using from Paakies ISI, some one raised their voice against pakies or jihadi were labeled communists or kafir. anyone speaks for pashtun(afghans) is called a racist. afghans have great history, we are proud of our forefathers, that they have their name in the history and we are related to them. i am sure your father is not a pashtun, or may be he is a pashtun like Karmal.

ahhahah my father is half pashton...mom is tajik...so is my moms mom....but who cares...i told u hundred of times forget pashton, tajik, uzbak and hazara... im do not give a f about either one. I must give u calling me Shamaliwal is funny... let me assue ur im not...but even if i was so wt? are they not human? are there no pashton in shamali? do u know Asef Dewalaar the bloody communist general is a Shwamliwal Pashton...his children could not speak a word of Dari...but then he is a criminal watanfrosh... a dog is a dog even if he barks in pashto or Dari. Get this guy and come out of your narrow ethnic-centeric bull****.

[parsiwaan]

Time out buddy Time out. I am from Flushing, New York. The city of Kandaharis and you just lied out your behind right now and you know it very well. Visit any Hookah bar at 11PM and you will hear is Dari speaking people with a bunch of guys. I guaranty you, and I mean I can put up money you will hardly ever see a Kandahari girl and have in mind that neighborhood is dominated by people from Kandahar.


Parsiwaan, what is exactly your problem? Are you trying to say our modest,humble,sincere Pashtanas have gone nuts in the west? Are you aware that Kabuli girls are selling there bodies Virginia?

ahaha i don't want to end up in shooting match here... I live in VA n i have not see a single afghan girls selling her body... but i have seen afghan girls with their bf... the point is that there are good and bad in very people SO STOP generalizing... as for as flashing i can post u the facebook of pasthana girl with their bfs.

[Mayana]

Yes, I agree, language is part of a culture. But it's just one part. There are many other parts, such as clothing, food, customs etc.

And I don't think this 'identification' needs to end. Allah has put us in differnt ethnicities and races so we may know each other .. not so that we can bash one another. I refuse to give in to this notion of making everyone identical just so we can be unified and strong. It doesn't work that way. I am not letting go of any part of my beloved and precious heritage just so I can be unified with people.. who are incapable of holding on to their heritage. My heritage is precious and I'm not going to ignore it for any reason. And none of us should, Parsiwaan Jaan. We should embrace who we are. I'm not just Afghan - I am ALL that I listed above.. that is part of who we are.. and it is not our ethnic identity that is keeps us apart, it is the notion of ethnocentrism.

Similar to racism, it's not racist to acknowledge that someone has a different skin color - that's like saying you can't tell the difference between black and white. Racism is treating someone differently because of their race. Same goes for us. Our misery is not because we are different, it is because we treat each other differently because we are different.. and that I agree is wrong. But to solve that, we shouldn't get rid of our differences - because that is our beauty - we should change our behavior and how we treat one another

[Roshina]

Time out buddy Time out. I am from Flushing, New York. The city of Kandaharis and you just lied out your behind right now and you know it very well. Visit any Hookah bar at 11PM and you will hear is Dari speaking people with a bunch of guys. I guaranty you, and I mean I can put up money you will hardly ever see a Kandahari girl and have in mind that neighborhood is dominated by people from Kandahar.

Parsiwaan, what is exactly your problem? Are you trying to say our modest,humble,sincere Pashtanas have gone nuts in the west? Are you aware that Kabuli girls are selling there bodies Virginia?

Umm... Shlombay, I don't believe in generalization. Yes, we like to beleive that Pukhtun women are modest and whatnot (and I'm sure that they generally are), but everyone has her/his own understanding of modesty. Believe it or not, I personally know of Pukhtun females in Flushing, NY -- and other parts of NY -- who have boyfriends but are still very modest.

It may not be the norm; I'm sure it's not the norm for Pukhtun girls to have "boyfriends," but what matters more is what "boyfriend" actually means, or how close the boyfriend/girlfriend are to each other. But it still exists. It may be just one of out of, I don't know, 8 or 10, but the girl still is a Pukhtun, and she remains Pukhtun by blood regardless of what she thinks or practices.

The same types of Pukhtun girls exist in the city and state where I live as well. I know of some in Virginia, too, by the way.

We should avoid generalization. People aren't always as great and perfect as we'd like them to be. Alas. Besides, it's humanly impossible for you to know every single Pukhtun family, particularly every single Pukhtun girl, in your own area.

And, what, you think that Pukhtun girls actually go to the same places YOU are likely to go to? Think again: They intentionally avoid the places their brothers and other Pukhtun men are regulars at. This is the case with may girls from the east who do things that their families (fathers, brothers) do not allow them to do, even though their brothers might do it ALL the time.

Of course, I'm not saying Pukhtun girls are like this. I don't think ANY one Pukhtun girl represents all Pukhtuns, or all Pukhtun females. But I'm saying that you cannot deny that such type of girls exist. You get nothing from denying it, other than just lying to yourself and others and assuming that you're superior to others just because your own females are what you believe to be "humble" and "modest."

[Mayana]

On a different note.. Flushing is a pretty funny name for a city.

[Mayana]

^ That's nice.. but kinda scary.. =D

[Roshina]

Shlombay, Oh, I'm not asking you to believe me. You shoudln't believe ANYTHING people tell you unless they can prove it to you. In this case, you'd have to know such girls yourself to beleive it.

Khair, I'm just saying they exist; you don't have to believe it, and you won't -- because I understand: it's SO much more convenient to live in a world of lies and fantasies than in reality, so okay.

[Roshina]

Did I hit a nerve? Stop derailing. Stay on topic.

Whenever someone says, "Did I hit a nerve?" you know what it means, Shlombay? It means that person's own nerve got hit. And I am not sure if I should apologize for having hit your nerve, since I did nothing wrong.

Oh, and if I was off-topic, it means you must have been off-topic, 'cause I was only responding to a comment YOU had made.

[Roshina]

So you are indirectly disrespecting PF? Gosh, What kind of a staff member you are.

I'm sorry? What does PF have to do with this? I was talking about you, not PF.

[Pukhtoon007]

Or when these same Shinwaar rebelled against greatest king of Afghanistan Amanullah in favor of a Tajik thief Bachia Saqaaw? where was these Shinwaris ghirat then?

u noe exactli y the shinwaris went against amanullah. because of his too modern a little anti islamic views. and the fact that lol his wife didnt cover her arms. so this is y a shinwari wont sell his mom. u said ur famili is pushtun by blood will i dnt noe hu is brain washing u but if these are the views of ur family than hu noes one of ur grandmas was proli sold for a donkey. and also hu cut of the head of the son of the water boi
and im not shinwari im a mohmand

one more thing on a ratio bases i would see more afghanistani girls out n about doing things then a pushtun n i live in australia. well mainli becuase they are more welcoming to western culture.

and also our languge is part of our culture, pashtu is a fundamental part of our culture. so that one difference between us and a tajik.

and u call ur self afghan so im gna ask u ....what is ur culture? coz ur not tajik or afghan(pukhtoon) or uzbek or hazara. i mean wats ur cultral dance again its not attan becuase ur not afghan(pukhtoon)

[parsiwaan]

Or when these same Shinwaar rebelled against greatest king of Afghanistan Amanullah in favor of a Tajik thief Bachia Saqaaw? where was these Shinwaris ghirat then?

u noe exactli y the shinwaris went against amanullah. because of his too modern a little anti islamic views. and the fact that lol his wife didnt cover her arms. so this is y a shinwari wont sell his mom. u said ur famili is pushtun by blood will i dnt noe hu is brain washing u but if these are the views of ur family than hu noes one of ur grandmas was proli sold for a donkey. and also hu cut of the head of the son of the water boi
and im not shinwari im a mohmand

one more thing on a ratio bases i would see more afghanistani girls out n about doing things then a pushtun n i live in australia. well mainli becuase they are more welcoming to western culture.

and also our languge is part of our culture, pashtu is a fundamental part of our culture. so that one difference between us and a tajik.

and u call ur self afghan so im gna ask u ....what is ur culture? coz ur not tajik or afghan(pukhtoon) or uzbek or hazara. i mean wats ur cultral dance again its not attan becuase ur not afghan(pukhtoon)

You jump on ppl family and you talk about ghirat? shame on you...Kushal khan khatak knew you people really well.

[parsiwaan]

Umm... Shlombay, I don't believe in generalization. Yes, we like to beleive that Pukhtun women are modest and whatnot (and I'm sure that they generally are), but everyone has her/his own understanding of modesty. Believe it or not, I personally know of Pukhtun females in Flushing, NY -- and other parts of NY -- who have boyfriends but are still very modest.

It may not be the norm; I'm sure it's not the norm for Pukhtun girls to have "boyfriends," but what matters more is what "boyfriend" actually means, or how close the boyfriend/girlfriend are to each other. But it still exists. It may be just one of out of, I don't know, 8 or 10, but the girl still is a Pukhtun, and she remains Pukhtun by blood regardless of what she thinks or practices.

The same types of Pukhtun girls exist in the city and state where I live as well. I know of some in Virginia, too, by the way.

We should avoid generalization. People aren't always as great and perfect as we'd like them to be. Alas. Besides, it's humanly impossible for you to know every single Pukhtun family, particularly every single Pukhtun girl, in your own area.

And, what, you think that Pukhtun girls actually go to the same places YOU are likely to go to? Think again: They intentionally avoid the places their brothers and other Pukhtun men are regulars at. This is the case with may girls from the east who do things that their families (fathers, brothers) do not allow them to do, even though their brothers might do it ALL the time.

Of course, I'm not saying Pukhtun girls are like this. I don't think ANY one Pukhtun girl represents all Pukhtuns, or all Pukhtun females. But I'm saying that you cannot deny that such type of girls exist. You get nothing from denying it, other than just lying to yourself and others and assuming that you're superior to others just because your own females are what you believe to be "humble" and "modest."

That is exactly what I’m trying to tell these people...the point is we just represent yourself....so pretending that all non-pashton afghan girls liberals and what not and pashton girls are pervious and modest is just plan bull...good only to make some narrow minded guy feel better. In my 28 years old life out of which 16 i spend in this country... i have seen a lot...and its not just Afghan or Muslim...its in every race and religion...the point is the more the family is strict with female the more they want to know how it feels to experience the other side... this is why in more conservative families the children’s tend to be two-faced...with two diff personalities...how they act in their family and complete diff when their among their peers.