Marrying across the line.

[Azmaray]

I am a pashtun, afghanistan is not my watan.
Afghans are not our lords, they live in refugee camp in my area.

U cant say anything u have said infront of AFGHAN .
i wont forgot that u said all this about afghans and one day u will talk to me and i will be nice 2 u and then we may meet in alhajjj but i swear i will make u walk in shame to pak , keep that in mind .

i hope ur family become one lik that and then we will see how can u mock again !!

[Michin Khel]

its not too far fetched to think pakistanis are going to start living in refugee camps in Afghanistan soon.

May be.
but azmaray was wrong in thinking that afghans are our lords, i daily give few rupees to afghan beggars

[کیش]

because there is war in their own country.

Different countries=Different peoples

You should take care of those people, as they speak the same language, have same culture, and Importanly are also Muslims.

[BarakzaiAbdali]

What would happen if Afghan Pashtun guy married Pakthunkhwa girl or vice versa. Would it be acceptable? Or frowned upon?

Does it happen?

Were there any problems?

depends... my father, from Qandahar, is married to my mother from across the line, but she spent a lot of time in Kabul but hails from KP. You usually end up choosing a favorite set of cousins and that appears to bind your loyalties. My father's family and locale was far more accepting whereas we have had some nonacceptance from the KP side until I showed them niceness. I am still working on that relationship. My wife says that her family members that married into KP proper (i.e. FATA folks) also face similar but less condescending views. BLS saib tells me this is not widespread and he is hearing of more intermarriage as per the refuggee population.

My wife is from Waziristan as well, so I married across it too.

I encourage this both ways. It is not a usual Pashtun trait as often you see folks marrying with families to preserve land rights, or within villages (folks you know are seen as more reliable), or within locales these days... but it is becoming more widespread. Mother mother in law's brother, a Wazir is married to a wardak women.

If the family is educated, I have found few problems... if not... some clash can occur.

[Gulbabo]

May be.
but azmaray was wrong in thinking that afghans are our lords, i daily give few rupees to afghan beggars

beggers are common on the streets of Pakistan, they range from locals to refugees... says a lot about your country. you know, not being war torn and all, and having hundreds of local beggers on the street. pretty sad i must say.

[Michin Khel]

U cant say anything u have said infront of AFGHAN .
i wont forgot that u said all this about afghans and one day u will talk to me and i will be nice 2 u and then we may meet in alhajjj but i swear i will u make walk in shame to pak , keep that in mind .

i hope ur family become one lik that and then we will see how can u mock again !!

I call afghans as mahajars and no one has ever dare to raise objection on it.
Pashto che matal da 'kor che kho maigay (ant) ganda wi'

[BarakzaiAbdali]

Remember i always speak truth. You can marry a girl from KP, but financially stable and educated pashtuns would never give their daughter to you.

Depends on the era... my parents marriage took place in the 70s before the KP folks viewed us as kabulyaan. Also, Quettans intermarry more often. I recently met an Achekzai in the masjid that had married a Qandahari woman.

[Michin Khel]

Different countries=Different peoples

You should take care of those people, as they speak the same language, have same culture, and Importanly are also Muslims.

its not that they are restricted to refugee camps, they are freely doing various kind of jobs. Many are having pakistani citizenships now (obtained through illegal means)

[Toramana]

Actually, I talked to tor_khan about Luffy's offending remarks and he said he enjoys what Luffy says---I cannot understand it...If this forum is for Pashtun unity, then that purpose is being undermined with provocative and insulting remarks. And clashes are constantly being stirred up....

[Michin Khel]

Depends on the era... my parents marriage took place in the 70s before the KP folks viewed us as kabulyaan. Also, Quettans intermarry more often. I recently met an Achekzai in the masjid that had married a Qandahari woman.

People of FATA do marry with afghans like quetawals. But pashtuns of kp are not that much close to afghanistan.

[BarakzaiAbdali]

If you are wealthy and pashto speaking then you have chances every where.
Afghans dont visit their daughter in again in life after giving her in marraige but people of Lakki marwat and south KP are different, they wont give you their daughter easily if you are a permenant citizen of west.
Also we dont sell our girls.

I have noticed some issues with this. I once had a distraught simple KP Khybar Medical student on a rotation under me. He said that his family was being driven into debt by the demands placed on them by a simple upper middle class family. I found this to be disdainful behavior. I understand the logic is to tie and bind the male and make him think twice about abusing or leaving the women... but perhaps the screening process should be a bit better and should encourage good marriage in a way that the families start off A) not in debt on either side and B) with good will.

[graveyardofempires]

@toramana
i see

[کیش]

Luffy is a good person, and contributes a lot to this place. Although, it seems as if he wishes he was a Punjabi.

[Michin Khel]

Actually, I talked to tor_khan about Luffy's offending remarks and he said he enjoys what Luffy says---I cannot understand it...If this forum is for Pashtun unity, then that purpose is being undermined with provocative and insulting remarks. And clashes are constantly being stirred up....

Your thread on stereotypes about tribes was quite good for promoting unity.
dont take me as a pashtun. Take me as a pakistani guest then you would take me easily

[BarakzaiAbdali]

People of FATA do marry with afghans like quetawals. But pashtuns of kp are not that much close to afghanistan.

Yeah, but this is not good. Marriage back and forth across the border is a very peaceful and good way to encourage unity. Families should be open handed and treat the bride groom and bride with the utmost acceptance and respect. Sometimes darwinistic behavior emerges (clashes between mother in laws and daughter in laws... demands on wealth... etc...) but if both parties are young, educated, and determined to do good, what is the problem?