lets share some jokes

[Master Khan]

A once in a lifetime corporate hospitality at a premier football game and I get an urgent call from the wife saying her mum's been hit by a bus and only hours to live.

15 minutes later I'm at the hospital and the wife's hugging me, "Thankyou darling, I'm so sorry you'll miss your football"
"Don't worry love I wouldn't miss this, I'm taping it and I'll watch it later"

God knows why she got so upset when I started setting up the camcorder.

[pashtun boy]

Once wraz a "Kargha" was Thagay.

He Searching OBA

But Oba was chrta hum na

He teredo from Jangel

There he saw one Mangay

Khu Oba were Lage

He soch oko a plan

he rawakhistal some kanri

manri & drop into the mangay

Oba come ochate

He Drank da zra da Khlasa

[pashtun boy]

Teacher aow Student

Teacher: treanslate this senttence into pashti.
''A beautiful girl is walking in the park''
Student:Alaka chaman ki yo zalim shay rawan dai

Teacher: translate this sentence into pashto
"A beautiful girl is walking in the park"
Student: alaka chaman ki yo zalim shay rawan dai.

[Shehbaz Khan]

Two Sardarjis, both students, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

[Master Khan]

A Hasidic Jew walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Hasidic Jew replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"

[Shehbaz Khan]

http://engrtufailkhan.googlepages.com/4.wmv

[Shehbaz Khan]

A man checked into a hotel.

There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address, and without
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in the city, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the
floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To : My Loving Wife
Subject : I've Reached
Date : 16 May 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers
here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.

I've just reached and have been checked in.

I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

[Shehbaz Khan]

Sara Talks to every boy around.

Teacher: What's 'Sara' in this sentence?

Pakhtun Student: Sir diera be-ghairata da !!

[graveyardofempires]

One time, there was a black family of four. They heard about this river, and if you swim tho the other side of it, you turn white. So the Dad swims across and turns white, then the Mom, then the sister. When the youngest child, the brother starts to swim across, he is taken away by the current. The sister says, "DADDY' DADDY!, BUBBA IS GETTING TAKEN AWAY BY THE CURRENT!" And the Dad said, "Screw that ******."

sorry nt really racist person but i find racial jokes funny

A turkish family was told if you swim across this swimming pool full of crocodiles you will get a passport.

the father swom and came out alive got his passport
the mother swom and had some minor injuries but luckily got her passport
the sister swom and she got attack by the croc and lost a leg but got her passport.
when the brother jumped in he was surrounded by the crocodiles they attacked him ,he started screeming "father help me,help me"
Father:piss off filthy immigrant

[Nora]

It's the end of the day at a cricket tournament in Sharjah and India as usual has lost yet another game to Pakistan.
At that very moment Mohammad Azharuddin gets a call from his wife. She says, "Darling, have you bought all the gifts that I had asked you to get for me?" He replies, "Well, I'd really like to, but the crowd outside is waiting to beat me up, so I can`t leave my hotel room."

His wife replies, "That's no problem, honey. Just dress yourself as a lady. You should have no problem leaving the hotel." Azhar does just that and goes shopping around. No one recognizes him anywhere until he reaches the last shop. That's when he hears a cheery, "Hi Azhar, it's nice to see you here!"

Totally shocked, he turns around to see a lady in a burkha. "How the heck did you know that it was me?"
The lady replies, "Don't worry yaar. It's me, Rahul.

[KhyberKhan]

This ice cold weather is hilarious, right now im outside a mental hospital watching the nurses trying to free 30 tongues from the windows....

[KhyberKhan]

What's black and eats bananas?























































Half of London

[KhyberKhan]

A policeman in the UK spots a huge black guy dancing on the roof of a Ford car.

He radios for backup.

"What's the situation?"

"A big fat black bloke is dancing on a car roof."

"You can't say that over the radio" replies the operator, "You have to use The politically correct terminology"

"OK" he says.


"Zulu...Tango....Sierra."

[IamDZJ]

i just finished reading two pages of jokes and guess what? all jokes are either racist or sexist. i wonder if it's even possible to have a joke that is not one of the two.

[kakargirl]

3 beggars collected one thing each in the day 1st one collected meat ,the second collected vegatables,3rd collected spices and salt they all came togeather it was dark lit a fire put a big pot of water on to make soup,

1)beggar thought well il keep the meat and just eat it my self the vegatables and the spices will be enough from the other two so he pretended with his hand that he put the meat in.
2)beggar well now that the meats in il save my vegatables the meat and the spices will taste great so he did the same pretended.
3) beggar well the meat and veggies are in so il keep the spices for something else tomorrow so he pretended too to throw them in ,
they all sat back then filled the bowls it was too dark each saying yum its delicious .