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**MeemWawMeemNoon** · 08-08-2010, 11:01 PM

Jasmine khore, after following what is prescribed as proper attire for women, one has to also clear one's mind of arrogance and flattery and one's speech from filth.

These things add to how men react, believe it or not.

Allah knows our characteristics best.

**MeemWawMeemNoon** · 08-08-2010, 11:02 PM

Originally posted by DaZahroJaam View Post

are you suggesting i wear too much make up or tight clothing? what do you know about such "sisters"?

I am not suggesting anything. You know yourself best.

**MeemWawMeemNoon** · 08-08-2010, 11:02 PM

Originally posted by Jasmine

No make up.
Not tight.

As Master Khan has suggested then move.

This is also a commandment of Allah. One should migrate if one cannot live a dignified life where one resides.

**IamDZJ** · 08-08-2010, 11:03 PM

Originally posted by MeemWawMeemNoon View Post

I am not suggesting anything. You know yourself best.

booo

**MeemWawMeemNoon** · 08-08-2010, 11:06 PM

Originally posted by Jasmine

This isnt limited to one neighborhood Momin.

Of course not! But it is not found in EVERY neighborhood.

Where there is a will there is a way.

If you really want to be free from these perverts and to follow the commandments of Allah, then move, as He has also suggested.

**Mayana** · 08-08-2010, 11:18 PM

It is interesting how in order to prevent such disrespect only a change in the behavior of us women is suggested. You don't see brothers preaching to men about how they should refrain from doing whatever it is they're doing - no. "Women, stop wearing make up, stop wearing clothes that fit you, hide yourselves in curtains, move away into a place where there is no men." While "men just will be men".

And I agree, many women are very seductive in the way they dress etc - but I have seen this happen to the most pious and covered girls. It is not a one way street.. the girl can't go running and hiding when there is nothing done on the men's side. In that case, no matter how much he runs and hides and under how many curtains she hides herself - she will still be found and disrespected.

**Millatpal Noorzai** · 08-08-2010, 11:23 PM

Originally posted by Mayana View Post

It is interesting how in order to prevent such disrespect only a change in the behavior of us women is suggested. You don't see brothers preaching to men about how they should refrain from doing whatever it is they're doing - no. "Women, stop wearing make up, stop wearing clothes that fit you, hide yourselves in curtains, move away into a place where there is no men." While "men just will be men".

And I agree, many women are very seductive in the way they dress etc - but I have seen this happen to the most pious and covered girls. It is not a one way street.. the girl can't go running and hiding when there is nothing done on the men's side. In that case, no matter how much he runs and hides and under how many curtains she hides herself - she will still be found and disrespected.

Women should dress properly and men should lower their gaze,i do so coz i can't look straight at women.

**Mayana** · 08-08-2010, 11:24 PM

Originally posted by Jasmine

But it does not happen as often to the covered ones as it does to the uncovered ones.

Of course.. but just the fact the it happens to the covered ones implies that it is not a one way street and that covering alone doesn't do the job.
If a man if low enough to disrespect a woman in such a way, he will have little forbearance for how covered she is. Because if he were pious for GOD's sake he wouldn't approach a woman in such a way anyways because he fears God.. but if he is pious for a Hijab's sake, he will look past that Hijab if the girl is attractive enough.

**MeemWawMeemNoon** · 08-08-2010, 11:25 PM

^Well, you will always have people who will go beyond all bounds.

A woman should do her part, physically, verbally and mentally, and leave the rest in the hands of Allah. That is all Allah can expect from you.

**Mayana** · 08-08-2010, 11:25 PM

Originally posted by Millatpal Noorzai View Post

Women should dress properly and men should lower their gaze,i do so coz i can't look straight at women.

Kor di Wadaan, Millatpala.. Beshaka, dera lazima Khabara di wakrala. I agree with ever word!

**Roshina** · 08-08-2010, 11:27 PM

Hold on a second ... are we being practical here? MOVE if you're living in an area where you can't live a life of dignity? Goodness gracious, how realistic is that? What if someone cannot afford to move? What if one is living a life of compulsion where one is living?

So, Momin, you cannot compare today's circumstances, today's situations, today's lifestyle, today's dealings to 7th century's -- especially when it comes to the lifestyle of 21st-century west and 7th-century Arabia. You cannot compare today's Muslim woman to the Prophet's wives. It is unfair to assume that things would be great if we ourselves were just great. Reality is not as beautiful as that; it's not as easy as you make it seem, either. Why, you might ask? Well, because we're not the only ones involved in the reality: Everyone around us is. So I may even cover myself from head to toe, I may lower my gaze, I may be everything the typical Muslim believes I must be in order to keep myself safe, but that is NOT going to help me stay safe at all, since my being safe depends on my surroundings, including other people.

And authority? Again, which authority are you talking about? Where's this authority? Hell, a raped female cannot even report her rapist in most Muslim countries because she knows how life works against her there! In the reality that we live in, there's no such thing as authority that keeps women protected and safe. In the west, where many PF members live, it might be available, but even then, it's not all that easy -- if only you knew what all is involved in someone's reporting criminals to the authorities!

So please, folks, don't make assumptions. This sort of mentality reinforces the claim that women who get raped CALL to be raped, or women who are constantly harassed by men are seeking the attention of men. As you can see from the responses of the females here, NO one wants the attention of men; no one wants to be harassed. We want to live in a society where we will be ABLE to walk to the nearest market if we want without having to go through hell to keep ourselves safe.

Besides ... why are men telling us what to do when, how to behave, how to respond, etc., when they have never been in the situation that the women here are describing, when they never WILL be in these situations because they're not women?

I dress in a way that makes me feel very comfortable, and while some might not like it, I love it. And guess what? The only men who stare at me are Pakistanis and Indian "doctors" or future doctors studying at the school I go to -- mind you, they happen to be Muslims, too, because I sometimes see them coming out of the prayer-area on campus. Non-Muslims and non-Desis don't even seem to think I exist, and if I had to ever choose befriending any males, it would certainly have to be non-Muslims because they know how to respect me more, they know how to talk to me, they know how to approach me.

Of course, I do not speak on behalf of all females; I speak only for myself because this is my experience with male strangers.

How men will approach you depends on how you carry yourself and what sort of attitude you have. Like I said earlier, if you ignore them, they'll shut up. If you look back, if you smile, if you say ANYTHING in return to them, they might be excited. Some men even love it when women respond by yelling at them, getting angry, cursing at them, etc. So I advise everyone to just SIMPLY ignore.

**Admin Khan** · 08-08-2010, 11:32 PM

Meemwawmeemnoon,

Would you agree that asking someone to move because a few beghairat people are bothering her is a bit too extreme? Wouldn't something like traveling to her house on a different street etc be more applicable as opposed to moving everytime someone says, "Hi, You are pretty?"

Just a thought.

**BLS_1919v2.0** · 08-08-2010, 11:35 PM

Originally posted by MeemWawMeemNoon View Post

I am with reality.

Those sisters who have bunch of make up and who wear tight clothing have always be harassed. They don't follow proper Islamic injunctions.

That may be so and I won't argue against the daleel of Islam. However a luchak is a luchak is a luchak. Agha pakhto kae che waee zanae khalk sthargae na sharmeegee. So I don't think this can be applied to all cases.

**MeemWawMeemNoon** · 08-08-2010, 11:36 PM