Having multiple wives in Pashtun culture.

[Zarawar]

This costume is fading away, who to blame?
we got two factors,

Secularism/ new ideologies/ democracy?
or
War/poverty?

[eyeliner]

i think new ideologies, because in the past women were more tolerant of it, but now they would not be happy with it whatsoever.

[Zarawar]

i think new ideologies, because in the past women were more tolerant of it, but now they would not be happy with it whatsoever.

Well, that also.
But, islamically/Pashtunwali wise the woman's opposition is always expected and one should not halt his decision based on that. That's why the first wives' view doesn't matter.

Also, you can deal with your first wive if the husband uses rationality and positive thinking. But, the problem lies between the men, not the women. There has to be something affecting this process.

I think it's the mobile mindsets and ideologies.

[eyeliner]

Well, that also.
But, islamically/Pashtunwali wise the woman's opposition is always expected and one should not halt his decision based on that. That's why the first wives' view doesn't matter.

Also, you can deal with your first wive if the husband uses rationality and positive thinking. But, the problem lies between the men, not the women. There has to be something affecting this process.

I think it's the mobile mindsets and ideologies.

i don't think rationality works with the modernised women these days, because mentality has changed, and most men if they intend to find a second wife will result in the first wife leaving him.

[eyeliner]

In our culture it existed but its now on the verge of extincting.

and so it should

[Zarawar]

i don't think rationality works with the modernised women these days, because mentality has changed, and most men if they intend to find a second wife will result in the first wife leaving him.

I understand your frustration as female, but our religion permits us to do this. In fact motivated in some cases. But, that's only if one can treat them equally...

[eyeliner]

I understand your frustration as female, but our religion permits us to do this. In fact motivated in some cases. But, that's only if one can treat them equally...

yes the religion permits this but before you said that the first wifes opinion doesnt matter however, islamically thats not the case. Secondly for those of us who live in the west, polagamy is illegal, now islamically we must obey the law of the land, which would mean two marriages are not permitted.

[eyeliner]

^ he meant for men, because women arent allowed to.

[Zarawar]

yes the religion permits this but before you said that the first wifes opinion doesnt matter however, islamically thats not the case. Secondly for those of us who live in the west, polagamy is illegal, now islamically we must obey the law of the land, which would mean two marriages are not permitted.

Well, the west also permits us to marry same sex.

That doesn't mean we can compare that to what islam says.

And, about the permission issue, alot of scholars have different conclusions. But, most say that if one ask his wife that he's about to get married. 95% of the time the spouse is not going to permit him. And, that halts the process of having multiple wives. I mean no wive want her husband to marry another woman, this is when the logic kicks in.

[Zarawar]

Zarawar how would you feel if your wife gets shared?

I'm talking in accordance with Islam.
Islamically we can marry multiple wives whereas women cannot do that.

[Zarawar]

Zarawar the culture has now changed.

Now its 1 wife. The minute she dies, another wife comes in.

well that wouldn't differenciate us from anyone else (including christians, athiests etc)

I mean obviously you have to get another one after the first one dies, i'm talking about marrying one, when you have one breathing.

[eyeliner]

^ lol i bet you lot are not even married yet and your think of killing your first wives just so you can get another one, so much for missing the dead one.

zarawar.....some pashtun women are fine with it and in the past they were made to accept it, its not like they were asked or given the choice anyway.

[Zarawar]

^ lol i bet you lot are not even married yet and your think of killing your first wives just so you can get another one, so much for missing the dead one.

zarawar.....some pashtun women are fine with it and in the past they were made to accept it, its not like they were asked or given the choice anyway.

I'm married,

and i don't have any intentions of killing her.

da tapa (stamp) ham ramandey walagawai wos.

[Zarawar]

Ignore the response, I didn't know you were talking to Shlombay.

[eyeliner]

what is the obession with people getting a second wife. i know it exists in islam and pashtun culture but generally why do men need a second wife?