Import Brides

[pukhtana]

My only question is when all you men begin importing wives what about us women in the west? Of course we will marry non Pashtuns because we are left with no choice.

[Ghilzai]

Importing a bride....eh in my opinion there are only a few reasons why you would do this.....

1) Your parents think there aren't any "decent" (Afghan or Pashtun) girls living where you are.....which isn't saying much about there daughters,
but thats another story. What really burns me in this case is when the guys are hella luchak messing around with girls here but then wants a nice "clean" girl from back home. Beghairat.

2) You/your parents basically want a slave. Someone who will cook, clean, do the dishes, take care of your parents, someone who isnt
the slightest bit independent. Unfortunately girls who come from back home to the west are like that, becharas have no choice they are forced into a maarriage they dont want to be in, away from home. There is no way out for them.

3) You are so freakin socially awkward that no girl in the west will marry you.


Thats my two cents, personally I could never do it. I know plenty of really nice girls here, the culture, the way we were raised,
everything is compatible, because we were both born and raised here.

4) This might be the only good reason for marrying someone from back home and bringing her here. Guys who were born and raised and spent most of their lives in Afghanistan. I mean it just works, the guy is usually still very much Afghan and its a good match.

[Dukemina]

LOL @ #3! I believe you could add --> feel overwhelmed by the "success" of girls here and their education level that your pride and honor is not able to comprehend it. lol

[pukhtana]

Importing a bride....eh in my opinion there are only a few reasons why you would do this.....

1) Your parents think there aren't any "decent" (Afghan or Pashtun) girls living where you are.....which isn't saying much about there daughters,
but thats another story. What really burns me in this case is when the guys are hella luchak messing around with girls here but then wants a nice "clean" girl from back home. Beghairat.

2) You/your parents basically want a slave. Someone who will cook, clean, do the dishes, take care of your parents, someone who isnt
the slightest bit independent. Unfortunately girls who come from back home to the west are like that, becharas have no choice they are forced into a maarriage they dont want to be in, away from home. There is no way out for them.

3) You are so freakin socially awkward that no girl in the west will marry you.


Thats my two cents, personally I could never do it. I know plenty of really nice girls here, the culture, the way we were raised,
everything is compatible, because we were both born and raised here.

4) This might be the only good reason for marrying someone from back home and bringing her here. Guys who were born and raised and spent most of their lives in Afghanistan. I mean it just works, the guy is usually still very much Afghan and its a good match.

Where the heck where you all this time? !

I hate it when guys mess around in the west "have fun" and than ask for a modest woman from back home.

[Sheenka]

what about us here? If people like Sangar and all other educated Pashtuns import wat on earth do we do?? Marry a black man? All of the educated Pashtuns import.

First calling it Import Bride is somehow direspectful

very well said.

I agree with Amna. What about girls in the west.What do you expect. Of course once they pass 30, they will marry some non Afghan. Not all Afghan girls are bad. Pashto ke wai " wacho sara lamda ham sawazi"

i like the quote its so true

Why the hell are you guys only talking about girls, what about the boys?

Pashtun boys are 100 times more ayash than our girls. Our girls even in the west are jewels and saints compared to our boys. Fact of the matter is we pashtuns have a very sick mentality where we allow boys to do everything they want but punish girls for every small mistake in the name of so called ghairat and namos. Islam doesn't discriminate in this way so its our own culture and mentality.

I don't think "import" is the right word, it seem disrespectful. But I see nothing wrong with bringing a girl over if you like each other and are compatible in terms of your values and personality. But its not right to go over there and look for virgin and clean girls when you yourself are not clean.



Good girls deserve good boys and bad girls deserve bad boys.

right, MASHALLAH, thanks for saying the truth

dont be! Our pashtun community in the UK is large enough... there is no shortage of spouses here

yh u r right lol

[Saifullah]

I agree with timbaktu. I hate this maintality of our people being so strict on women and blaming everything on them.

The guys do not deserve a nice girl from back home or neither a nice girl from the west. i am talking about those guys who do all they please and mess around wid girls 24/7, showing off that they are some kind of hero. But then when time comes for marriage, he says oh i wanna marry a pure girl and bla bla bla. I feel sorry for the girls who have to marry such guys who are not genuine people. And i do not know why parents back home are so stupid do just marry of their daughters to people just because they are in the west.

I see in Peshawar girls wearing traditional clothing which has become really tight and disrespectful. I would prefer her wearing trousers and a long shirt rather than those type of clothes. I am mentioning this coz of wat Mayana was saying coz this is true. I mentioned this to some girls in Peshawar when they see farsiwans wearing trousers (even though they are being really decent more than them) they go oh my god, they think they are so modern. They are wearing trousers, i was like they are more covered and more decent than your 'lahori' inspired shalwar kamis.

Be proud of your pashtun 'culture' it is making peoples live more difficult. It is a fairy tale story about pashtuns and ghairat. They contradict themselves all the time. When it comes to marriage they don't care who their daughters marry except if they are in west or have money. Then people cry oh why do pashtuns get married to non-pashtuns and cry when somebody marries their daughter to non-pashtun...why??? Because people are fed up of munafiqat.

Many of people back home wants to have a son and look down upon eachother when they get daughters. Where they lock their daughters up while their sons go night clubs and have girlfriends. This makes me sick...Marriage is an import aspect of your faith, it is said to be half of your deen for a reason. Yet good girls do not deserve bad guys in the west. That is the question...why should you be able to 'import' brides so easily??

[abubaker]

there are some guys in the west that don't deserve any girl let alone those from back home.

i know a guy who married a really nice and pious girl back home spent a few nights with her and then left her and then completely forgot about her he now has Punjabi girlfriend here in the UK.

afsoos, si khpali lurgani di kharij pa num warkawi, gani dasi zanwarano ta ka cha khra ham war sparali wai

khudai mu di la dasi karo wasathi

ps girls here are too nakhra bazi

[Sheenka]

i know someone like as well in Uk, he married a beautiful girl in afghanistan, but he still have gf and my dad warned him once, he is scared of my dad but not his dad that poor girl, and he has beautiful duaghter mashallah

[Baygham]

Pashtun preoccupation with piety and its confusion with sexual restrictions, comes from a culturally distorted understanding of Sex. This is both cultural and religious.

Sexual desires are normal phenomenon. When you restrict there expression by societal restrictions, than water flows in crevices, like a dam the backup provides the pressure.

Pashtoons deal with sexual desires in distorted ways because they have different mindsets regarding woman, to reconcile.

Mindset 1. Mother.
major distortion, An abused creature once picked up by dad after his follies in life, years younger, as a pious housemaid, abused, neglected, pushed aside to care for the children.
The sons are raised to give her power which she will then use, decades later to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. The daughters raised with a sense of shame and subservience, auctioned to the biggest bidder.
The heaven is under her feet and yet she is under someone else's feet. God is great for being so generous to men, I love him for that.

Mindset 2. The sister.
A delicate time bomb that has to be neutralized before it goes off. For if it does, it will blow the lofty man egos with it. She has to be locked, yet the one next door, what great fortune will it be, if she is not locked, if I could just ring the bell and call on her, talk to her, confide in her, share emotions and desires. But not in here, here it is lockdown.
Allah agrees, lock down it is.

Mindset 3. The Mehbooba.
Some alluded to above,
damn if she agrees and damn if she does not.
Will never be respected like ones locked up sister. Yet never a desire more potent has one encountered as well. So the object of ones desire is a disrespected 'damaa', so not like mother and sister.

Mindset 4. The wife.
is she a 'damaa', no, no cant have a damma, what if she sang in front of others, that is so against my locked-up image of women. She should be raised like we raised ours, or more, the more lockup she has been the better the chance that she has not been a 'damma'. Once I get her pregnant, I will return back to my 'ijthimahs' aashnas, w h o r e houses or whisky clubs to fullfill my urges and desires with a daama or daama substitute but the house, that holy place where my children will be raised should be a good prison with an extended female unit.

Mindset 4. the daughter.
was i a good enough jailer. has she been upto any daamthoob, will she be accepted as a nice girl (one adequetly locked up) or as a daama. Who will she marry, obviously arranged as the other way is a sure path to daamthoob. So what if he is 20 years older, he will provide a nice locked up environment for her, she is after all used to that and we will empower our status some in the process as well.

The end result, Less than 1% chance of a happy, fullfilling, lives with an equal, vivacious, loving, caring partner. Cant we have a single mindset regarding women, one that can be a mother, a sister, a wife, a lover, a daughter and most importantly an equal human being.