what would justify hitting a woman...

[Roshina]

How about if we put it like this.
There is this american female marine chasing you with her m16.
she is firing at you to kill you.
fortuntely you find a gun on the ground and there is no way to run away.
what would you do ?

Obviously, the only way to save your own life would be to kill the potential killer who has a weapon with herself. I would not feel guilty killing her at all.

[parsiwaan]

Actually, I work with a women's shelter here where I live, and lemme tell you that it takes GUTS for an abused woman to turn to help, especially an eastern woman. She fears for her reputation, her name, her parents' name -- everything. So she never tells anyone either.
I believe the woman in the movie did the perfect thing by killing her husband for what he did to her for ten years. She'd suffered enough, and, like many women in her situation, she had no way out. If she divorced, we know what would happen to her; we know what society would do to her. If she ran away from him, we know then, too, what society would say about her. Everyone would ignore the fact that he had killed her emotionally and mentally; no one would put the blame on the man -- everyone would put the blame on her only.

However, we must also remember that EVERY situation of abuse is different. What should be done when depends entirely on the severity of the abuse. For example, a mere slap or a shoe thrown at you would not, in my opinion, incite the same response from the woman as would a severe beating or kick in a delicate part, especially during pregnancy. (I know of women who have suffered miscarriages because their husbands hit them in the stomach or threw something hard at them while they were pregnant.)

So when she was burning the poor guy alive...she was not thinking about all that? Her future, society, her reputation, name and rest of what you listed? .. the fact is no action of her husband justify his killing...off course she was in a bad station but she had other options.

[Roshina]

^ I just edited my post, so you can read a response to your comment regarding her reputation after having killed him.

Also, I'm sure she had other options. But she did not think so. Otherwise, I'm also sure she'd have resorted to those rather than to burning him alive.

[parsiwaan]

^ I just edited my post, so you can read a response to your comment regarding her reputation after having killed him.

Also, I'm sure she had other options. But she did not think so. Otherwise, I'm also sure she'd have resorted to those rather than to burning him alive.

That is the point... she did not and she pays for her foolishness...now if it was in Afghanistan i would have understand...for most ladies has no other option... but in west...no way, get a divorce and move on.
There is also other side to this... i have heard some Afghan woman had a argument with her husband and then she hit herself... called 911 and said husband did it. The point is …when people are forced to live together (arrange marriage) these kind of stuff happens… there needs to be understanding…argument and fights are normal in marriage…but when one ends up in hitting (both end… seen wife abusing the husband) then the only option is to get the hell out of that marriage… it’s not worth it and ppl like that will not change!

[Roshina]

That is the point... she did not and she pays for her foolishness...now if it was in Afghanistan i would have understand...for most ladies has no other option... but in west...no way, get a divorce and move on.

Again, it's not as easy as it sounds. Just living in another society doesn't mean ANYTHING for many, many immigrants, wror gula. Sure, things are more convenient here, and we have more options here, but not all of us are *prepared* to take advantage of those opportunities. We're not used to it, we're not trained to accept them, and some might even mock those who DO take advantage of the pleasures of the west. So to just say, so, so easily, "Get a divorce and move on" is gonna make a woman in this situation stare at you and say, "Don't make me pray to God to put you in my situation."

To believe and understand this, you're gonna have to talk to more Muslim and eastern immigrants in the west. I know of women who have been in the U.S. for over twenty years, and their husbands are extremely abusive and these women cry day and night (often to my mother and in front of me and my siblings). They may be living here, but they don't know how life works here. They don't know how to drive, they don't work, most are not educated, they don't know how to pay their bills, they don't know how to use computers -- nothing.

I understand we wanna blame them for not knowing these things, but it's much deeper than this. I don't like justifying for other women why they stay in abusive marriages, but sometimes, we need to try to see it from their perspective to appreciate our own lives.

[Palwasha]

Oh, wait, though. Has anyone watched the movie "Provoked"? It's a true story, according to the producers.

Yes, I've seen it, the film was boring though the story's interesting.

It's a true story, the lady herself is still alive, and my mother was telling me how she remembered it being on the news and all.

[Mayana]

Zan ra ba Zaar bekhaar ba Tabaar Zan
Agaar Mord degaar zan agaar Namoord Degaar zan

if my food is not ready....
if my tea is not on time... i drink some green tea after lunch and dinner....
if my cloth is not wash..
if home is not clean
if she doesn't take care of her self...

My Kamarbaands comes so handy in all the mention situations.

Zan ya'ane "Bezan"??

[parsiwaan]

Again, it's not as easy as it sounds. Just living in another society doesn't mean ANYTHING for many, many immigrants, wror gula. Sure, things are more convenient here, and we have more options here, but not all of us are *prepared* to take advantage of those opportunities. We're not used to it, we're not trained to accept them, and some might even mock those who DO take advantage of the pleasures of the west. So to just say, so, so easily, "Get a divorce and move on" is gonna make a woman in this situation stare at you and say, "Don't make me pray to God to put you in my situation."
To believe and understand this, you're gonna have to talk to more Muslim and eastern immigrants in the west. I know of women who have been in the U.S. for over twenty years, and their husbands are extremely abusive and these women cry day and night (often to my mother and in front of me and my siblings). They may be living here, but they don't know how life works here. They don't know how to drive, they don't work, most are not educated, they don't know how to pay their bills, they don't know how to use computers -- nothing.

I understand we wanna blame them for not knowing these things, but it's much deeper than this. I don't like justifying for other women why they stay in abusive marriages, but sometimes, we need to try to see it from their perspective to appreciate our own lives.

Circular argument sista... i can not understand how someone could contemplate burning someone alive but not getting a divorce? ...now if there is cultural and religion limitation about devorice then there is also about burning someone alive? Isn’t it? Lol
About those ladies you mention...It’s a wild world we are living in… survival of fittest….Reminds me of Matrix movie…conversation Neo had with architect… “Choice. The problem is choice.” Lol

[parsiwaan]

Zan ya'ane "Bezan"??

lol shyre-ma kharab kadee.

[Mayana]

Kojaayesh dorost bood ke ma kharabesh kardom??

[afghan]

Hitting a woman is sign of weakness, pashtun who hit their women are usually they are fox out side and lion inside the house.

[spogmai shaglay]

What justifies men hitting women? An attempt to satisfy their so called (false)egos and trying to prove that they superior to women. If they cant bear to see a lady progress or she doesnt agree to him and fails to handle a situation and nothing else works then last resort is physical abuse, many cases its the first thing men do. They dont realise that they are proving a fact again that they are weaker than women.

[شمله ور خراساني]

Beating women won't solve anything.

[parsiwaan]

Kojaayesh dorost bood ke ma kharabesh kardom??

Ok in honor of sharhaa ee kharaab here is another kharaab shayraar

Yarakee Bewafaa...Too Box koo ma Defaah.

[شمله ور خراساني]

Ok in honor of sharhaa ee kharaab here is another kharaab shayraar

Yarakee Bewafaa...Too Box koo ma Defaah.

besyaar khela