Marriage to non-Pashtuns

[Master Khan]

First and foremost being a Muslim should matter. I don't know from where did Pashtun and Non-pashtun things came from????

I hate it when some people give a higher priority to what culture says instead of what Islam says.

no Culture is important aswell so we know what to talk about etc.

[Master Khan]

For me its Culture and religion, If you want your culture to be active and alive then you will have to marry a Pashtun, If you don't care about your culture then its fine.

[Zari]

For me its Culture and religion, If you want your culture to be active and alive then you will have to marry a Pashtun, If you don't care about your culture then its fine.

LOL..i so agree...

thats the same thing with us....

[pekhawar]

The only thing I am against is when Pashtuns force you to marry within the tribe.

[Khan]

Without culture, understanding and communication will not come.


So Khan, I disagree with you.

It was my opinion, something I prefer for myself.

[Sheenka]

i've a pashtoon guy married a indian lady which the children r now nowhere they arent hindo not even muslim
i feel sorry for them kind of ppl but if u marry afghhan which they r farsi spoken that would be better coz u know both langauges and culture
like me lol
mixed

[Muslimah]

What is your view on converts marrying within the culture? Obviously I would learn the culture and language and adopt it as my own. Communication is more than language. We have to belong somewhere...and obviously where we come from isn't an option.

Poor poor me. I feel so unwanted *crosses arms*

[Musafira]

Muslimah
I knew that was why you were HERE of all places lol and that's okay. If his family accepts you I think it's fine & inshallah you will have a happy life together. Will you for sure remain living in a Canada or another developed country? I have seen how you constantly bash Canada but there is A LOT to be said for safety & security which is rather lacking in Pakistan & Afghanistan. The extreme poverty of millions, the pollution & constant death & violence/crime in both these countries is a lot to bear even for a native. If there is a possibility that your future husband might want to return back home some day you might want to visit there just to see if you can handle life there.

[Muslimah]

I don't know if I would ever live there. I heard there are big spiders and scorpions. Unless I had a big inflated plastic ball to protect me, I would rather stay in Canada or somewhere in the Middle East. I always wanted to teach in the middle east, it pays a lot of money and its Muslim. I don't know....

[Feroza_Banu]

^thank u for ur wonderful post. pishoo

Muslimah... its not a fairy tale...i hope u don't live in one.

please make sure whatever pashtoon man promises to marry u... actually does marry you and make sure he doesn't have a wife and/or children back home already ...

just a sisterly advice

[Muslimah]

hehe
Like I said. Whatever Allah wills. If it isn't him, I wish him all the happiness in the world. But I also feel bad because he is 27 and she is 16 and he grew up here and shes from back home and already telling all her friends she is going to get canadian citizenship and become an actress. Disgusting! Thats not islamic! Of course, he doesn't even know her. Not even her name. He won't find out until the night AFTER they marry. So, no matter whether I am in the picture or not, I don't think this is fair. All because of "reputation".

No matter who I marry, I know inshAllah I will help their "reputation" because I am smart and pious and will make a wonderful wife and mother hehe. Wow I sound so conceited like Shlombay all of a sudden. :D

[Muslimah]

hehe I am keeping up. I just had a really bad day.

And I have a lot of reading in my Aqeedah course. AND teaching. I quite possibly am losing my mind lol.

To this guys family, his parents will disown him. His father hasn't talked to him since he said he met a convert. He said he shouldnt be talking to girls in the first place. No expectations no disappointments. I think I just really care about his happiness because 1) my heart is huge and 2) because he is most of the reason I stand on my own two feet after everything that happened with my family.

I doubt we'll end up together because I want in-laws that can take me in as their daughter. I don't want to be a stress. I don't want to be the horrible addition to a family. I want to have parents like me. and if they don't like me because my birth certificate says I am Canadian and won't take the time to get to know me, then they arent good in-laws to have in the first place, right?

[Muslimah]

My right is to be respected and to be adopted into a family as a daughter-in-law to a family that deserves my time. Not to say I am all that. I am just not fighting for being a second wife, or disliked. I am better than that.

[Iqra]

Who is 16? not sure if that matters or not ...

but point is, do not live in a fairy tale ...

I was gonna say something, but I can't put it into words ...but just know something .. be careful ... lots of liars out there nowadays only looking for their own advantages.

And I know what you mean about inlaws and wanting them to want you ..you might or might not get it, but I pray inshaAllah that you do.

[Muslimah]

Well thats why I said I am fine to walk away from it. I did nothing haram. What Allah wills, I am happy to accept.
I know there are ****bags here though. That have wives back home and come here and cheat. I wouldn't be worthwhile to cheat with. I don't sit alone in a room with a man - and I pretty much talk about Islam 24/7 so I would send "those kind" of guys chasing for the hills lol