Need some help, what should I do?

[Iqra]

^ I agree, that's pretty amazing!

Khuday dih khushali darkih inshaAllah =)

[Iqra]

Only me.

[MazloomyarMaseed]

Why do you want to learn Peshaweri Pukhto?

[MazloomyarMaseed]

I couldnt understand a single word of Peshaweri Pukhto, plus it sounds so girlish, jus kidding

[Zahia]

I couldnt understand a single word of Peshaweri Pukhto, plus it sounds so girlish, jus kidding

LoL! I'm a girl, so I guess that's alright. I am far from a genius. I was raised in the states so I don't know very much Arabic at all, and what I do know is Levantine dialect (which is so pretty! not all gagging noises!). I just want to learn Peshwari because he lived there for a while, and plus, if you watch dramas in Pashto, they are mostly in Peshwari. I just don't like not knowing something LoL.

[Zahia]

Well, I promised I would keep everyone updated, so here it goes. . .

I'm so sad today. I think things may be over. All we've done is have a massive fight for the past few days. He doesn't think his family will accept me, and is afraid to have our friend speak to his parents. I'm just not Pashtun, and I don't think I'm good enough for him. We were fighting so bad, that he even called me 'white' and told me that I'm just an American. I was raised by such a strict Lebanese father (may Allah bless him) and have my own culture.
He is just so confused and keeps going back and forth on the issue. I'm going insane. In one breath, he wants me to be his wife, but his family probably won't accept me; and in the next, he wants to give it a chance, because I am a nice girl and he thinks it would be alright. I'm so lost right now, and all I'm doing is praying and trying to be understanding. I just feel so confused. Sorry everyone for the rant, but this is whats going on. I'm going to meet him for tea this afternoon, and I have a horrible feeling he's going to just end everything. . .

[Pakhtunzai]

I couldnt understand a single word of Peshaweri Pukhto, plus it sounds so girlish, jus kidding

Lol, yeah i know a waziri guy and he was telling me about the accent differences..waziri is more heavy and slower whereas pekhawari is faster. But all dialects are beautiful kana

Zahia khor, I pray that your wishes come true but also try to be careful.

[Zahia]

Can I PM YOU? Ive been through a similar situation in my life. We need to have a girly talk ASAP...

Of course you can PM me.

[Zahia]

What triggered the argument? Where did it begin from? I thought he loved you?


How dare he talk to you like that, I feel like smacking his face so hard.

I thought he loved me too. Now apparently, he's upset and the situation is stressing him enough to where I think he's questioning if its worth it or not. I honestly think if he would just introduce me to his parents and state his intentions, that things would improve 100 fold. Its not helping that I have to go out of state in a week and take classes at another school for a few months. I'll be able to come back and visit him, but he's getting frustrated and now is angry with me. Believe me, I'd like to smack him to, but as mad as he makes me, I love him and could never hurt him. I'd rather just take the hurt myself.

[Zahia]

What triggered the argument? Where did it begin from? I thought he loved you?


How dare he talk to you like that, I feel like smacking his face so hard.

I thought he loved me too. Now apparently, he's upset and the situation is stressing him enough to where I think he's questioning if its worth it or not. I honestly think if he would just introduce me to his parents and state his intentions, that things would improve 100 fold. Its not helping that I have to go out of state in a week and take classes at another school for a few months. I'll be able to come back and visit him, but he's getting frustrated and now is angry with me. Believe me, I'd like to smack him to, but as mad as he makes me, I love him and could never hurt him. I'd rather just take the hurt myself.

[Laila]

Okay Zahia, a man that truly loves you.....would do anything for you. It seems that he is questioning all of this and has doubts, so, is it worth it? is it worth going through all of this pain and suffering for someone that clearly doubts a possibility of happiness? Does he even has as much love as you have for him? question yourself that

[Laila]

^^ You couldnt have said it better


If he truly, truly loved you, he would have gone right away from the beginning and confronted his parents about it. But he shows doubt in this.

Dont hurt yourself more than you already are. Honestly, he is really not showing an love to you, its so not worth the heartache and time. Dont wait around for him. Talk to him face to face, and let him know. Is he going to do it? Will he tell his parents right now and convince them? if he wont, dont continue with it.

[Zahia]

That is where I disagree with you. You need to work for your own purpose.

You like him.
The only solution is for him to speak to his parents. If he refuses to do that. ask him what's his reasoning behind it? Does he like someone else? Is he waiting for this goddess to appear?


Listen Girl, I have been on the same boat as you. Trust me I have. I let it go cause it was not worth it. All I was getting was the run around. I found out he had a wife back home all along.


Now I am not saying he has the same thing going on, but seriously, taking anger out on you for what? he is stressed? I sense bull****. when you leave someone, you dont intentionally hurt them especially over something like that.

All he has to do is say "I like this girl, do a marakah"

That is it. THATS ALl ALLAHS SAKE. Nothing much nothing less. If he refuses to say that, he better not run into me. He is putting all of us through pain right now. especially me, I hate to see you sad. I really do.



can you do me a favor and hit him up and tell him.

"Look, Its either you tell your parents about me RIGHT NOW, If not we never talk again"

If he truly loves you and cared for you, He will do it. Why? Cause he loves you...But if he does not. Well we know the answer...

I'm going to see him tonight to talk. You're right and he's about to get an ultimatum from me. I think I'm going to just have to walk away. . .

[Zahia]

Thank you ladies for helping me toughen up. You are all right. I need to just be tough and get an answer out of him. Please pray for me.

[Zahia]

I am the worlds biggest idiot, but I have an answer. He said to me, in a text message, none the less...

"I like you, I love you, but I can't marry you. Not now, or in 10 years. I can't marry anyone but an Afghan girl or I'll lose my family. And I won't lose my family."