Pashtun women meeting Pashtun men and vice-versa.

[Alchemist]

^

@Alchemist
Unfortunately, Pukhtanas back home are used to go with the flow of their men. It doesn't matter how wrong our men are, most of us back home are taught to just deal with it. Men on other hand only know women are supposed to deal with it, they don't know what it feels like living a life which is ruled by brothers before marriage, and husbands after marriage. And the biggest reason for this is the strictness in our culture. I am not saying our women and men should start dating, hang out every day with everyone, no. I am saying at least within a family speaking to fellow family member of the opposite gender should become normal, I even know many Pukhtoon families where even brothers and sisters won't speak to each other! Like that how will we ever understand each other? How will most of our men ever realise even a woman has wishes and desires? How will most of our women ever realise life is more than just obeying men? And I guarantee, I am not the only one with any such ideas.

I don't think Afghan culture is strict....we didn't practice foot binding like the chinese, nor did we invent the chastity belt like the europeans. It's all a matter of relativity. Since the east and west were that strict in their heydays, now they have swung to the opposite extreme. Still the chinese give away their daughters for adoption and the europeans have turned incestuous. Still, its better that your father keeps you locked up at home than let you loose in the streets of america, where every 2 minutes someone gets sexually assaulted.

Excuse me for saying this sister but your response is a cliche - "why doesn't he talk about his feelings". We are not talkers. Just accept it.


And as for your desires and wishes, its no secret that your only wish is to bare children. It just so happens, that modern women deny this about them self and choose to pursue more meaningless challenges that men have invented to compensate for their inability to produce life.

You want to be a modern woman...go ahead. Be one.
Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying men are innocent here. It would be nice if more brothers, husbands, fathers and sons were more sensitive to the needs of the women in their lives. But as Napolean once said "Give me good mothers and I will conquer the world."


And just so you know. Morals exist because they have real consequences. Especially Afghan culture, which in my opinion is one of the best in the world, has a 5000 years of tried and tested wisdom behind. Click here to know why we are so protective of our nomoos.

[Fahd]

lol i think alot of girls study in the west !! and they following what they Craves (want , like ) even if it was against islam idk why when we say its not good (haram) and ...etc they say ''men don't understand Pukhtanas'' '' the world isnt black or white '' and alot of funny lines :p

the most easly thing u can brainwashed is girls and its the hard thing u can bring it to the right way .

im not saying im prefect or i dont or wouldnt do that but im saying whats the right to the ppl who say wrong things :p

btw plz dont lead culture before islam !! its like ppl here dont care about islam all they care about is culture :S

am i confused ? lol

[faye]

fahd, have you been practising brainwashing girls?

[Fahd]

fahd, have you been practising brainwashing girls?

looooooool jk
no i didnt and i wont .
oh nooo hahaha i just read ma post again and understand why u asked me that :p i mean i didnt meet girl and i dont say wouldnt i will meet the girl i love and wanna marry her only her .

[faye]

that's good. i am glad to hear that.

[kakargirl]

you can leave or stay.. it is completely your decision. it doesn't effect me at all. I am not part of any gang. but sweet you have a lot to learn from this life, and a lot to grow up....

and no one is hooking up with any one here...

LOL i can't stop giggling.

yes khorai i have alot to learn i didnt go off because of you or anyone i have so much work piled up and my exams start soon , and dont worry i have a great family to learn from and huge family back home to learn from and intend to.

[emkhan]

one should have proud on their own family values no matter how conservative they are.
But so called modern educated westernise girls would never understand that because they are over impressed with the slavery of women in the west.

[emkhan]

Girls here should defend their selves rather than exposing themselves and making herself a marketing tool for men.
I feel sad over the modern girls' thoughts here. I dont know why they want to sell themselves ?

[Fahd]

easy guys :S
i understand why girls in the west wont mind meeting boys even i didnt see any one saying i want to !! its how they raised and its something they feel Comfortable !!
like me i lived in makka and i feel nervous when im near to random girls lol in shop place ...etc
yh just dont start on the girls like they did a crime (even its bad in islam but like i said u said what u have to say then dont need to post and post and post again to the same point !! )

[IamDZJ]

what a load of crap.

[faye]

naturally, women couldn't possibly do anything of their own accord. they just wouldn't have the imagination.

[Shayesta]

its better that your father keeps you locked up at home than let you loose in the streets of america, where every 2 minutes someone gets sexually assaulted.

There is a difference in locking your sister/daughter up for their own safety, where I got complete understanding for. And there is difference in locking them up for a man's pride/dignity, where I don't want to have understanding for. You can't lock up a woman forever 'just in case' sexual assault might overcome here, that's just as ridiculous as saying all men should be locked up instead. Na gham, na kam.

Excuse me for saying this sister but your response is a cliche - "why doesn't he talk about his feelings". We are not talkers. Just accept it.

If you ain't no talkers then we ain't no toys either, why don't men accept this? See, this is what I mean with lack of understanding in which men are not even interested, because 'you ain't no talkers so we have to be the toys'.

And as for your desires and wishes, its no secret that your only wish is to bare children.

Is that a man's only wish as well, to become a father? Or is this the only wish accepted of women? Reveal the secrets all you want because for now this is by far not my biggest wish, at all.

modern women deny this about them self and choose to pursue more meaningless challenges that men have invented to compensate for their inability to produce life.

'Modern women' don't want to compete with men, they want to be a able to live a life worth calling a 'life', not just a 'breath'. Maybe 'some' men should grow up and be little less insecure about a woman's future, career, wishes and freedom. One gender's lust shouldn't become another gender's obstacle.

[Shayesta]

But so called modern educated westernise girls would never understand that because they are over impressed with the slavery of women in the west.

Slavery of women in West? No, seriously, slavery of women in West? And that also compared to lives of women back home? I can't believe you are not even being sarcastic........

If people think shaking bodies and dancing is progress, I think that is backwards

What's even more backward is the growing insecurity in men who will go to the extend of calling Pukhtanas who prefer the Western lifestyle 'dancers', and then tell others 'not to target' the lifestyle they prefer in a woman.

In FACT, many of you are absolutely NOT "Pukhtun women" -

Excuse the interference here, but who are you to tell a woman how much of a woman she really is? Have we women ever tried to tell you men what ways you should accept and what you shouldn't? God made you a man, work on that. He made us women, leave ours on us.

Yes, its also interesting to note that most marriages fail in the west...jee I wonder why.

It's even more interesting to know that most marriages back home take place by force and even at most miserable times are forced to make their marriage 'work'. Jeez, I wonder why.........?

And to those who constantly criticize the Western lifestyle, can you first of all define a Western lifestyle? And next to that, please also bother to explain why you got that view on Western lifestyle? I will go from there, thanks.

[Alchemist]

There is a difference in locking your sister/daughter up for their own safety, where I got complete understanding for. And there is difference in locking them up for a man's pride/dignity, where I don't want to have understanding for. You can't lock up a woman forever 'just in case' sexual assault might overcome here, that's just as ridiculous as saying all men should be locked up instead. Na gham, na kam.

Consider the opposite.
You are not locked up.
What do you do?
You wear your tight pants and do your hair and make up for 2 hours in the bathroom. Then you leave the house and go do what? Study? For what? For the sake of Allah? For getting a career? For what? To make money? Why? Because you have to pay for the tight pants and the make up? For what? So that strangers on the streets would check you out? So that you and your girlfriends can go out and eat at restaurants and "enjoy life"? Seriously. Do you take me for a fool sister? How many times in a day do you get hit on? Answer me honestly! The average girl gets hit on at least 2 times a day..depending on how hot you are. If you are really hot, you'd get hit on 10 times a day. Is that what you want freedom for? Pathetic.
Instead of this "lock up" business, why don't you just get married so your husband would pay your bills and take you out for dinner. Then if he is not treating you good enough...divorce him! You have the full backing of Allah to ditch his sorry ass if he can't satisfy you, be it financial or otherwise!
So all this b.s about getting "locked up" like Rapunzel, getting mistreated like cinderella and missing out on the Prince's party..save it for your mamma. It's called "Kokh" in my farsi.

If you ain't no talkers then we ain't no toys either, why don't men accept this? See, this is what I mean with lack of understanding in which men are not even interested, because 'you ain't no talkers so we have to be the toys'.

If you are not a toy, then don't act like one. Don't get dolled up like a barbie. Toys get used. You want to be a puppet of the materialistic world put up by Coach and channel no 5 and mtv...fine.

How do you want to be treated anyway? Like a man? Trust me sister - grass is always greener on the other side.

Is that a man's only wish as well, to become a father? Or is this the only wish accepted of women? Reveal the secrets all you want because for now this is by far not my biggest wish, at all.

Oh you don't want to have children? You want to wear man pants and do manly things? Confused much?
What is your biggest wish anyway? Being Miss Universe? Enjoying Life? Getting a useless diploma for name's sake? Huh? We got our self another rebel here eh...

'Modern women' don't want to compete with men, they want to be a able to live a life worth calling a 'life', not just a 'breath'. Maybe 'some' men should grow up and be little less insecure about a woman's future, career, wishes and freedom. One gender's lust shouldn't become another gender's obstacle.

Oh wait a minute.
Are you a muslima? Because if you are not, then ignore everything I said sister. If you want to "live life" then by all means...go sense every sensation out there. I don't blame you in that case. If you think like that...if you think "Oh we only live once, so might as well try everything once" then go ahead. You want to chase the illusions of this world...run free

Just a brotherly heads up - it is just a mirage.

[Wrayun]

There is a great miss-understanding here. People have misunderstood Kakarkhor traditional/cultural upbringing and outlook on life as forced "culture", while those who have been raised differently are accused of lacking it.

I give credit to all the Pukhtoon females here because for one, they are here. In now day and age finding Pukhtoon men interested in our heritage is a long shot, let alone finding our women. These young ladies, no matter how they were raised, at least have interest in who they are. We shouldn't question their character based upon statements made on a public platform. It goes against Pukhtoonwale to question the character of a Pukhtoonah without any concrete evidence or proof. Such things can get you killed in many instances.

Personally I find it a bit of a turn off to see men discussing women issues. I don't think Pukhtoon men should be raised that way. Our women are fully capable of taking care of their business. Pukhto, also known as Pukhtoonwale, the way of the Pukhtoons, comes from the nurturing of a Pukhtoon mother. Pukhto is rarely thought to children by Pukhtoon men. The very institution that teaches Pukhto to a child is the lap of the Pukhtoon mother. That Pukhtoon child then grows up to implement what that child learned from that institution.

Let's not question the characters of these institutions, nor participate in it, esply when those who are doing the "questioning" are not even Pukhtoons. Non-Pukhtoons, shouldn't be preaching Pukhto or Pukhtoonyat. This is not about which side to take. This is about not allowing outsiders to interfere in our internal affairs, no matter how much we disagree with each other. I hate external interference. We are in turmoil because of it. Da khpal kor khabara da khpal kor ke kha wee. People have no right to discuss subjects they don't understand or belong to.

Last, some of the ladies should take it easy on Kakargirl, not because she is young, or because she is weak, but because she is your own. She is a very bright girl. She is our collective responsibility as Pukhtoons.