"Nikah” After “Rukhsati"

[emkhan]

I know azad khel, the thread starter, he lives in buner and is not a westren pashtun. He is right nikkah takes place at boys house after rukhsati, any pashtun who live in homeland knows about this tradition.
Among punjabis it is opposite, nikkah takes place a girl's house and after that rukhsati takes place, which is i think much better than pashtun's.

Luffy, you are wrong. If he really lives in Buner then the people of Buner which I know particularly do the nikah before the rukhsati i mean at the time of koedan. It is our swatians who do nikah after the Rukhsati but I know even in Buner no one can meet Lol. What the hell is this. Is it common in Afghanistan ?

[Michin Khel]

@badmashkhel
Islamically it is right that after nikah at kojda , they can do what ever they want but "pashto" doesnt allow it. I am not sure about other regions but among marwats, in the time gap between kojda and wedding, girl and boy are strictly prevented from seeing and meeting each other even if they are relatives.

[Michin Khel]

Luffy, you are wrong. If he really lives in Buner then the people of Buner which I know particularly do the nikah before the rukhsati i mean at the time of koedan. It is our swatians who do nikah after the Rukhsati but I know even in Buner no one can meet Lol. What the hell is this. Is it common in Afghanistan ?

I trust azad khel he is experienced and traditional. Remember among pashtuns Nikah take place at kojda as well as at wedding, twice.

[emkhan]

I trust azad khel he is experienced and traditional. Remember among pashtuns Nikah take place at kojda as well as at wedding, twice.

You just trust in him and I have my own relatives close ones in Buner.
They particularly do the nikah at the time of koedan but meeting or talking of girl and boy impossible after the nikah till the rukhsati.
As I said it is our people the swatian who do the nikah at the wedding night at the boy's house when the Rukhsati takes place and in the absence of the girl and the boy.

[badmash_khel]

@badmashkhel
Islamically it is right that after nikah at kojda , they can do what ever they want but "pashto" doesnt allow it. I am not sure about other regions but among marwats, in the time gap between kojda and wedding, girl and boy are strictly prevented from seeing and meeting each other even if they are relatives.

yes thats right, its not pashtun culture. It happens mainly n the West.

boy and girl meet in secret after nikkah usually when the girls father is not home. It only starte in the last 10 years in the WEST. I prefer his way, sometime gap between kojda and wada is too long, so it better if nikkah is done in kojda. I think it makes fpr amore successful nd happer marriage. Even if talaq happens before wedding cermoney, its better because marriage has not been connsumated then.

[emkhan]

yes thats right, its not pashtun culture. It happens mainly n the West.

boy and girl meet in secret after nikkah usually when the girls father is not ome. It only starte in the last 10 years in the WEST. I prefer his way, sometime gap between kojda and wada is too long, so it better if nikkah is done in kojda. I think it makes fpr amore successful nd happer marriage. Even if talaq happens before wedding cermoney, its better because marriage has not been connsumated then.

Lol.... Look at the westernize thinking: wedding has not happened yet and he is talking about talaaq. ufffffffffff Pashtuns are getting westernize.

[Michin Khel]

Lol.... Look at the westernize thinking: wedding has not happened yet and he is talking about talaaq. ufffffffffff Pashtuns are getting westernize.

Westren pashtuns are broad minded and they dont follow suffocating aspects of pashtunwali. In my opinion if pashtun husband and wife are not happy with each other and there is no way of improvement of relationship, then they should simply divorce each other.

[Breshna]

No, Nikah is read at the boy's house after the rukhsati but we do not let the boy or the girl come in front. We probably take one man from the girl side and one from the boy side to confirm their willingness for the nikah and as a shahadah as well. This is how we do. The boy disappears for for a week or so LOl. and this the nicest way.

The boy and girl...don't see each...other.

Men are kept in separate sector...of House or Venue...from women.

The Uncles or Brother or Father with two witnesses...and...Mullah come out

side the women sector.

The Father...Uncles or Brothers...asks for permission,...they await to see if

the girl says ''Yes'' or ''No'' ?...from behind the screen.

They return...to the men sector...to proceed...the Nikah.

The men are told the...girl...gave..permission.

The boy is only present...with the men and Mullah.

The girl enters the...boys house in...Nikah.

We don't send our...girls to....the boys house...without.....Nikah.

What if the girl didn't...want to get married ?

What if she...changed...her mind ?

So whats the....point of....Ruhksati ?

We do Nikah 1st...then Ruhksati.

Some do...Nikah on...the day...a girl and a boy...gets...engaged.

[emkhan]

The boy and girl...don't see each...other.

Men are kept in separate sector...of House or Venue...from women.

The Uncles or Brother or Father with two witnesses...and...Mullah come out

side the women sector.

The Father...Uncles or Brothers...asks for permission,...they await to see if

the girl says ''Yes'' or ''No'' ?...from behind the screen.

They return...to the men sector...to proceed...the Nikah.

The men are told the...girl...gave..permission.

The boy is only present...with the men and Mullah.

The girl enters the...boys house in...Nikah.

We don't send our...girls to....the boys house...without.....Nikah.

What if the girl didn't...want to get married ?

What if she...changed...her mind ?

So whats the....point of....Ruhksati ?

We do Nikah 1st...then Ruhksati.

Some do...Nikah on...the day...a girl and a boy...gets...engaged.

Our girls submit their will to their parents' and elders' wishes willingly and happily. There is no such thing like refusal at the time of wedding.
Anyhow @ badmashkhel's point that a girl and boy can meet after the nikah before the rukhsati in Afghanistan.
Some time ago someone told me that there a girl and boy were killed for their meeting though their nikah was done by both the families willingly but still they were killed because there was no Rukhsati taken place.
But may he was wrong because he was a liar a hypocrite. may be badmashkhel is right that they can meet

[Afghanistan2010]

Marriage is Nikah , what is meant by Rukhsati ?

[emkhan]

Marriage is Nikah , what is meant by Rukhsati ?

marriage is no nikkah my dear. Nikah is a verbal confirmation and willingness by both the parties and attested by an Aalim reading the khutbah for nikah.
Some people do the nikah at the time of kojdan and give some time for marriage like one year or less than than or could be more than that. Until that the girl remains at her parents' house. The marriage takes place when a proper party is arranged at a specific date fixed by both the parties and then the girl is taken to her husband's house with joy and respect. This is call Rukhsati.

[Afghanistan2010]

marriage is no nikkah my dear. Nikah is a verbal confirmation and willingness by both the parties and attested by an Aalim reading the khutbah for nikah.
Some people do the nikah at the time of kojdan and give some time for marriage like one year or less than than or could be more than that. Until that the girl remains at her parents' house. The marriage takes place when a proper party is arranged at a specific date fixed by both the parties and then the girl is taken to her husband's house with joy and respect. This is call Rukhsati.

Manana for your explanation.
I was not familiar with the word Rukhsati,this means literally break/recess in pashto.

[emkhan]

Manana for your explanation.
I was not familiar with the word Rukhsati,this means literally break/recess in pashto.

Rukhsati is an urdu word which means to see off someone.
This is not a pashto word.

[Afghanistan2010]

Rukhsati is an urdu word which means to see off someone.
This is not a pashto word.

Ruskhati ...is the pashto word for the above.

i thought pashtuns of pakistan have twisted it into rukhsati lol

manana

[Breshna]

Our girls submit their will to their parents' and elders' wishes willingly and happily. There is no such thing like refusal at the time of wedding.
Anyhow @ badmashkhel's point that a girl and boy can meet after the nikah before the rukhsati in Afghanistan.
Some time ago someone told me that there a girl and boy were killed for their meeting though their nikah was done by both the families willingly but still they were killed because there was no Rukhsati taken place.
But may he was wrong because he was a liar a hypocrite. may be badmashkhel is right that they can meet

No the boy and girl... are not allowed to...meet each other....full stop.