"Nikah” After “Rukhsati"

[Baygham]

pa pakhtu pooheegi? khyaal me nishta.

khair stentoona wantoona achawa, pa dhagha ki dhi khair dhay, pa mazgoo ka poheeday no da hal ba dhee noo. Dha daa mathlab musulmani monga dha saal meela na peejhanoo.

[BarakzaiAbdali]

pa pakhtu pooheegi? khyaal me nishta.

khair stentoona wantoona achawa, pa dhagha ki dhi khair dhay, pa mazgoo ka poheeday no da hal ba dhee noo. Dha daa mathlab musulmani monga dha saal meela na peejhanoo.

Walaay naa Khaan Saiba, Khabaraah da dhaa chey dhaa aam khalaq pa sthaa reshthyaa khabarau bandaay poy aau. Au Pashto bandaay poygau au dha dhaay da passaa, pashto istamaalaau au khpaal ghaair sathoo.

Remember Khan

vs

Its in your head! Battle the demons!

[BarakzaiAbdali]

pa pakhtu pooheegi? khyaal me nishta.

khair stentoona wantoona achawa, pa dhagha ki dhi khair dhay, pa mazgoo ka poheeday no da hal ba dhee noo. Dha daa mathlab musulmani monga dha saal meela na peejhanoo.

Khandaa dhey ralaa rawastaa loool, dhey wraaz na pas num dhey Fiction Khan Baba sho... khwaaish dhey stha?

vs

Hurry Beghama, run the Islamist is sitting outside your window!

[Roshina]

These have to be some of the most ludicrous, most insane, most childish posts I have ever read. Imagine - two adults, apparently doctors, talking to each other like this, attempting desperately hard to win each other, to prove the other wrong, instead of two real humans sitting with each other like two real adults, truly educated and grown up, trying to understand each other....

What a pity! I'm hanging my head in shame and am embarrassed for both.

And, sadly, all this at a time when I was relieved that I had finally found a Pukhtun doctor who is actually reasonable . . . truly disappointing.

And, no, if you think all what you were saying was meant to be humorous, better luck next time in expressing your humor. What a miserable sense of humor you two must have!

[Baygham]

These have to be some of the most ludicrous, most insane, most childish posts I have ever read. Imagine - two adults, apparently doctors, talking to each other like this, attempting desperately hard to win each other, to prove the other wrong, instead of two real humans sitting with each other like two real adults, truly educated and grown up, trying to understand each other....

What a pity! I'm hanging my head in shame and am embarrassed for both.

And, sadly, all this at a time when I was relieved that I had finally found a Pukhtun doctor who is actually reasonable . . . truly disappointing.

And, no, if you think all what you were saying was meant to be humorous, better luck next time in expressing your humor. What a miserable sense of humor you two must have!

sorry to dissapoint you khore, we guys like sparring, it keeps things fresh, childish, I wont say, stupid yes. But guys are like that, idiotic and to women perhaps childish.

BTW I was not trying to be funny at all. The moment I open my mouth they all gang up, with idiotic themes and incessant reference to discredit what ever is said to the contrary. Well I do that very well myself. Finding fissures in Pakhtun mullah mentality is my specialty. After all I am the one they come crying to in private when s h i t hits the ceiling. The things people ruin their lives for, you cant even imagine. Professional curteosy I do extend but face to face, here they start with beghairath, benamoos and such. I just laugh it off. As they say in Urdu, 'call a prostitute a prostitute and she cries, call your loving wife a prostitute and she laughs it off'. Meaning if you are content with yourself you blow off feeble attempts to put you down.

Here we are discussing ideas, and I consider our discussions as a fight of ideas, not individuals. So next time if I forcefully disagree with you or any one else, I am not trying to attack your person. That is what our dear blasphemy laws in watan has done to people. any dissent is automatic attack on the person. This is very unfortunate. Once attacked what are you going to do, get hanged, you tell me, you have been cornered and ganged up on for your ideas. What did you do.

[BarakzaiAbdali]

These have to be some of the most ludicrous, most insane, most childish posts I have ever read. Imagine - two adults, apparently doctors, talking to each other like this, attempting desperately hard to win each other, to prove the other wrong, instead of two real humans sitting with each other like two real adults, truly educated and grown up, trying to understand each other....

What a pity! I'm hanging my head in shame and am embarrassed for both.

And, sadly, all this at a time when I was relieved that I had finally found a Pukhtun doctor who is actually reasonable . . . truly disappointing.

And, no, if you think all what you were saying was meant to be humorous, better luck next time in expressing your humor. What a miserable sense of humor you two must have!

Its a combination of a little coffee and a lot of zadd.

No seriously, its a guy thing. We tussle and enjoy intellectually smacking the heck out of eachother... but it builds relationships.

Take a look at Toramana and I... that banter and back and forth turns into appreciation at some point. I view him like an older brother of sorts that I just cannot ideologically agree with on anything.

In fact, it allows for a strong relationship because we know that we won't lie to eachother or mislead one another. It wont matter if Baygham thinks XYZ because I will straight up tell him I think ABC and vice versa. That is a rare thing.

I know its ridiculous but its the truth. Compare it to our back and forths about the ayaahs of marriage. The joust itself, though lengthy and at times laced with emotion, leads to a greater understanding.

[BarakzaiAbdali]

sorry to dissapoint you khore, we guys like sparring, it keeps things fresh, childish, I wont say, stupid yes. But guys are like that, idiotic and to women perhaps childish.

BTW I was not trying to be funny at all. The moment I open my mouth they all gang up, with idiotic themes and incessant reference to discredit what ever is said to the contrary. Well I do that very well myself. Finding fissures in Pakhtun mullah mentality is my specialty. After all I am the one they come crying to in private when s h i t hits the ceiling. The things people ruin their lives for, you cant even imagine. Professional curteosy I do extend but face to face, here they start with beghairath, benamoos and such. I just laugh it off. As they say in Urdu, 'call a prostitute a prostitute and she cries, call your loving wife a prostitute and she laughs it off'. Meaning if you are content with yourself you blow off feeble attempts to put you down.

Here we are discussing ideas, and I consider our discussions as a fight of ideas, not individuals. So next time if I forcefully disagree with you or any one else, I am not trying to attack your person. That is what our dear blasphemy laws in watan has done to people. any dissent is automatic attack on the person. This is very unfortunate. Once attacked what are you going to do, get hanged, you tell me, you have been cornered and ganged up on for your ideas. What did you do.

Really? My specialty appears to be proving you wrong and US News and World Report ranked me #1 at that (jk). Besides, an Afghan mullah mentality requires a separate fellowship. I agree with most of what you said regarding out back and forth as being banter. I am not attacking you either, I started with you when you raised a question that I thought was nonsensical. I did not refer to your mother or your sister that way. I merely asked how you would feel or react in that environment. Besides you look for a reaction when you make ridiculous commentary that attempts to insult God (recall your commentary about the throneless God).

Whatever the case is, no need to take this all personally. After all, what about when you guys all ganged up on Wrayun waay back before any of us were on here? Its life man. You gotta defend your thesis in front of the committee.

[Baygham]

Its a combination of a little coffee and a lot of zadd.

No seriously, its a guy thing. We tussle and enjoy intellectually smacking the heck out of eachother... but it builds relationships.

Take a look at Toramana and I... that banter and back and forth turns into appreciation at some point. I view him like an older brother of sorts that I just cannot ideologically agree with on anything.

In fact, it allows for a strong relationship because we know that we won't lie to eachother or mislead one another. It wont matter if Baygham thinks XYZ because I will straight up tell him I think ABC and vice versa. That is a rare thing.

I know its ridiculous but its the truth. Compare it to our back and forths about the ayaahs of marriage. The joust itself, though lengthy and at times laced with emotion, leads to a greater understanding.

Roshina does have a point, we just cant discuss anything in a civil manner. Lets try to do so, Let me start a thread on that and lets see if we can discuss that in a civil manner. Remember its a fight of ideas, not of persons. So lets see what we can learn from that.

http://www.pashtunforums.com/hujra-12/can-we-talk-civil-manner-13493/#post344359

[BarakzaiAbdali]

sorry to dissapoint you khore, we guys like sparring, it keeps things fresh, childish, I wont say, stupid yes. But guys are like that, idiotic and to women perhaps childish.

BTW I was not trying to be funny at all. The moment I open my mouth they all gang up, with idiotic themes and incessant reference to discredit what ever is said to the contrary. Well I do that very well myself. Finding fissures in Pakhtun mullah mentality is my specialty. After all I am the one they come crying to in private when s h i t hits the ceiling. The things people ruin their lives for, you cant even imagine. Professional curteosy I do extend but face to face, here they start with beghairath, benamoos and such. I just laugh it off. As they say in Urdu, 'call a prostitute a prostitute and she cries, call your loving wife a prostitute and she laughs it off'. Meaning if you are content with yourself you blow off feeble attempts to put you down.

Here we are discussing ideas, and I consider our discussions as a fight of ideas, not individuals. So next time if I forcefully disagree with you or any one else, I am not trying to attack your person. That is what our dear blasphemy laws in watan has done to people. any dissent is automatic attack on the person. This is very unfortunate. Once attacked what are you going to do, get hanged, you tell me, you have been cornered and ganged up on for your ideas. What did you do.

You're a psychiatrist/neurologist? No wonder the course and outcome of this back and forth was like this:

me ----><----- you

(joking)

But seriously, do not let the patients' families give them 200 pill bottles of benadryl. You guys always end calling med consults emergently and they end up in the Step Down Unit. Its like what the hell, you guys have 1 year of internal medicine training... you know the protocols (activated charcoal if awake, transfer to unit, start fluids, etc). Why did you need to ruin all my residency call nights with those consults?

And lay off the tricyclic antidepressants... only because you really do not need my commentary each time you prescribe it or start them in house.

Will you quit consulting me for PR intervals of 120 msec?

[BarakzaiAbdali]

Roshina does have a point, we just cant discuss anything in a civil manner. Lets try to do so, Let me start a thread on that and lets see if we can discuss that in a civil manner. Remember its a fight of ideas, not of persons. So lets see what we can learn from that.

http://www.pashtunforums.com/hujra-1...93/#post344359

S h i t sorry, this popped up before I put my foot in my mouth with that last post. Seriously man, dont worry dude. We are already comrades. I dont see what was so uncivil about our back and forth. Its just two guys having some fun. Sheesh, come on its our nature to compete!

Im sure in real life we'd be sitting across the table enjoying the back and forth.

[BarakzaiAbdali]

Roshina does have a point, we just cant discuss anything in a civil manner. Lets try to do so, Let me start a thread on that and lets see if we can discuss that in a civil manner. Remember its a fight of ideas, not of persons. So lets see what we can learn from that.

http://www.pashtunforums.com/hujra-1...93/#post344359

By the way, psych was my favorite medical school rotation. I saw a case of Charles Bonnet Syndrome and thought it was the coolest thing ever.

[Baygham]

By the way, psych was my favorite medical school rotation. I saw a case of Charles Bonnet Syndrome and thought it was the coolest thing ever.

I like it too, but if you are implying that I am a psychiatrist, I am not. I do consider myself a student of human psychology, cognition and behavior. And as I said before I have a PHD in Dam darood as well. LOL

[BarakzaiAbdali]

I like it too, but if you are implying that I am a psychiatrist, I am not. I do consider myself a student of human psychology, cognition and behavior. And as I said before I have a PHD in Dam darood as well. LOL

Fair enough, I can sign up for graduate courses taught by you. On my route through Peshawar towards Jalalabad, a mum babo put a thaar/thaweez around my wrist and did "chaauff" on it.

[Azad Khel]

The argument in the previous posts from both sides is a nice one, except for the last few posts. We should always try to avoid personal attacks. The language used by these doctors sahiban is a little bit hard to understand for common people like me…………khair.
We are learning here from these intellectuals. Personally I give more weight to the argument of Barakzai saib, perhaps we are following the same ideology.
I appreciate Bgham saib’s arguments although, I don’t agree with him.

This is a debate and we should take it as a debate. A debate takes place where two people or groups do not agree with each other, otherwise, there is no debating and difference of opinion. A person having deep knowledge, study and writing powers can only participate in such debates.
Roshina (bichari) was searching for a man of her choice for the last so many years( ka khudai mi na khata kai nu). At last she found a doctor hoping that the doctors are less talkative, having the passion to listen more even something against their ideology and ego. But you people prove all these assumptions wrong for her. If Mr. Doctor will respond in the same manner with all his ARROWS and GUNS then how two people can live in the same house having the same tendencies……………Khudai ti ota khair ki……. Aou ka charta Doctor saib mi oledu nu ota ba waim chi paratey pakhawal darzi auo ka na darzi nu ezda yi ka…………….

[Azad Khel]

My point, to discuss such issue was to bring the attention of the forum to the technical flaws in the Nikah system of the pukhtoon. Of course, this is done according to the Sharia formally, but the essence of Sharia is totally out here, due to the timing difference.

How a girl or boy (woman and man) can refuse if the bride is already in the house of bridegroom and all the people from the tribe and villages are gather together.

We pukhtoon, sometimes, follow the Islamic rules according to our culture and pukhto, if any rule does not match with our traditions, we either modify it or refuse the same. The women of the family are not considered heir in the distribution of land and property is a valid example of such non Islamic traditions.
As we consider it against our pride to ask the consent of our child, specially girl, we have established the tradition of Nikah after Rukhsati.
In my opinion the same can be considered a forceful Nikah as the girl being a bride sitting in the house of her in-laws has no option except to accept the same.
Yes, many girls/women are happily married but still this is objectionable and against the essence of Isalmic Sharia.