Rights of parents in west...can you slap your child there?

[Michin Khel]

Stop projecting ur own version of islam , who says that cutting hands for theft is last resort in islam? Dont twist facts.

[Master Khan]

I think what we are encouraging is putting the cart before the horse. Hitting should be the ultimate last resort. One of the purposes of having children is to teach the parents themselves patience and discipline. You are a student until you die. So, just because you are a parent does not mean that you are fully disciplined and patient, and are fully in Allah's good books. Not at all. Children are not only for the purpose of bringing light to your home and keeping the family going; children are a means to reaching one's purpose of life. Hence, dealing with children in a loving manner will also teach the parents a lot about life, and understanding one's purpose. If children were meant to drive the parents crazy so as to make them hit their children, then I think we have misunderstood their purpose altogether. Remember that we were all children at one point.

my mum use to hit me and it help me out, we all go through it.
if you too nice to your kids then they will have abit too much freedom and too much freedom can lead to bad things like being spoiled, go to Clubs etc...so just keep in control until they get married, after marriage you can pretty much put up your feet and be happy that you grow up your kids the right way e.g. teaching them important things like pashtun culutre, Islam and about respecting elders.

I see alot of kids in UK that swear at their parents, disrepects etc, if you are too nice to them then they will start being cheeky to you etc.
Remember that you are their parents..not their friend.

[Michin Khel]

i agree with master khan

[Ashiq]

Stop projecting ur own version of islam , who says that cutting hands for theft is last resort in islam? Dont twist facts.

I am not a follower of anyone but the Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). I follow his version of Islam.

Did you know that the Quran calls for the cutting of the hands of Abu Lahab? Can one say that the Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not follow this Quranic injunction? Of course not. The Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) knew the Quran more than anyone one of us.

That said, the injunction of cutting hands has the connotation that that person should be cut of from society, i.e. imprisonmment. And, if imprisonment does not do the trick then then his hands should be cut off. Yes, the Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) himself did order the severing of hands, he even warned that if his daughter would steal he would order it. But the point that I am trying to make is that it is not the first option.

Moreover, the severing of hands depends on the society itself. If all amenities have been provided by the rulers of the society then yes, severing of the hands would be something to consider at the outset of the deliberation, however, if the society is not taken care of, then how can the rulers use that as a means right away. It would be unjust. The rulers also have to do their part. Ruling is not about being taken care of, it is about taking care of the people.

Moreover, in order to introduce the Islamic form of punishment, the society itself must first be introduced to the standards of the Quranic teachings. Just because a society is a Muslim majority does not mean that they know and follow Islam properly. A society has to be nurtured first before you can implement Islamic punishment. If a direct implementation of Islamic punishment is to be introduced before inculcating the society with Islamic tenets then it causes a lot illogical behaviour. Let me give you a good example, when the Taliban left, the true colours of the Afghan people came out. Why? That is because the Islamic tenets were not taught first, the punishments were implemented right away. Yes, the society itself was peaceful, but that was out of fear not out of love for the society.

[Ashiq]

my mum use to hit me and it help me out, we all go through it.
if you too nice to your kids then they will have abit too much freedom and too much freedom can lead to bad things like being spoiled, go to Clubs etc...so just keep in control until they get married, after marriage you can pretty much put up your feet and be happy that you grow up your kids the right way e.g. teaching them important things like pashtun culutre, Islam and about respecting elders.

I see alot of kids in UK that swear at their parents, disrepects etc, if you are too nice to them then they will start being cheeky to you etc.
Remember that you are their parents..not their friend.

The purpose of raising children, under Islamic teachings, is not to simply create obedient children towards the parents, it is to create obedient worshipers of God and peaceful members of societies. How many people can honestly say that the punishment they received at the hands of their parents has created love for people in their hearts, in general, and societies, as a whole, and most importantly love for Allah Himself?

[Sitaara]

It depends on the child and how his parents raised him, if he is a good child then if the parents beat him up just a slap for doing soemthing wrong then i dont think so he will mind. My siblings and i grew up in the west, my mom used to slap us or get very mean with us but we have never dared to call the police because we were raised in a way to respect our parents. I dont blame some of the children how they turn out to be and it is all because of the parents cuz frm the chidlhood they didnt teach them anything and then when they grow up then they expect from them to know what is right and what is wrong.

[kakargirl]

in uk parents have no rights to slap a child if caught social services move in and the family is monitered if slap is repeated child gets taken away and placed in foster care now that can be a english family even , i knew a friend of mine she was a pashtun from pahktunkhwa her father slapped her she told her teachers at the time she was 10 she was taken away her father then had to fight in court to get her back home as she wanted to come home but the court let her home on one condition the father couldnt live in the house for a year or so this is uk parents are paralised

[IamDZJ]

dear luffy, SLAPPING IS NOT A RIGHT. no positive point is ever proved by any one slapping the other.
a teenaged son or daughter doesn't wake up one day and decide to bring home their girlfriend or boyfriend. in order for that to happen, parents have to be very careless regarding their children's needs and their proper upbringing from an early stage.

[Master Khan]

The purpose of raising children, under Islamic teachings, is not to simply create obedient children towards the parents, it is to create obedient worshipers of God and peaceful members of societies. How many people can honestly say that the punishment they received at the hands of their parents has created love for people in their hearts, in general, and societies, as a whole, and most importantly love for Allah Himself?

Yes teaching them Islam is one thing but you also need to teach them respect, I mean my mum want to this family house and the poor mother is not well, her sister have to came to her house to take care of her while her daugther just sit there and watch TV and not even speak to the guest..you have to teach them respect..not just islam.
My uncle and his wife hit their kids but still the their kids love them.

in uk parents have no rights to slap a child if caught social services move in and the family is monitered if slap is repeated child gets taken away and placed in foster care now that can be a english family even , i knew a friend of mine she was a pashtun from pahktunkhwa her father slapped her she told her teachers at the time she was 10 she was taken away her father then had to fight in court to get her back home as she wanted to come home but the court let her home on one condition the father couldnt live in the house for a year or so this is uk parents are paralised

that is soo stupid, its his kids and these Socail Services have no right over his kids.

[Ashiq]

Yes teaching them Islam is one thing but you also need to teach them respect, I mean my mum want to this family house and the poor mother is not well, her sister have to came to her house to take care of her while her daugther just sit there and watch TV and not even speak to the guest..you have to teach them respect..not just islam.
My uncle and his wife hit their kids but still the their kids love them.

Assalamu Alaikum,

Islamic teachings inculcate respect.

The above example you have mentioned has nothing to do with abuse, it has to do with the upbringing of children.

Again, I am not saying that hitting should never be allowed. What I am saying is that it should be the last resort, absolute last resort, and when it is used it should only be a method of getting the point across, it should not be relied upon as a means to disciplining one's child.

[Ashiq]

Hitting a child doesnt work, creating fear does. Fear doesn't have to be created by htiting.

Assalamu Alaikum

You have understood the essence very well.

That is why it is necessary to attach one's child to Allah and inculcate the love and fear of Allah in one's child.

[IamDZJ]

^ fear and love don't reside in one.

[IamDZJ]

Of course they do. Why wouldn't they?

because they overcome each other. that is like describing ice as fire. WHY WOULD THEY?

[IamDZJ]

After a while, the child realizes that what ever the parent was dong or saying - was for their own good. It's called respect and honor.

what you get in return for emotional blackmail is not respect. tricking your children in to behaving is not setting up proper values either.

[unknownprince]

Im happy my parents scolded me and gave me beatings (on the backside) when needed.

Discipline is necessary