Rights of parents in west...can you slap your child there?

[Michin Khel]

I am talking with respect to afghans/ muslims there,If a mother wants to teach some manner to her kid and slap him/her, what will be consequences? I have heard she can go to jail for child abuse.
Case:2:- if a teenage daughter or son has brought their boyfriend or girlfriend has brought to the home for sex , and the dad become so angry that he beat up his son or daughter, would he go to jail?

[Fahd]

i will beat him or her with the dad
lol

[Ashiq]

I am talking with respect to afghans/ muslims there,If a mother wants to teach some manner to her kid and slap him/her, what will be consequences? I have heard she can go to jail for child abuse.
Case:2:- if a teenage daughter or son has brought their boyfriend or girlfriend has brought to the home for sex , and the dad become so angry that he beat up his son or daughter, would he go to jail?

The laws are very protective of women and children. Men are not so lucky.

If someone abuses their child, even as to slap them, children services would become involved and it could get ugly. And yes, if the parents do physically assault their children and their boyfriends or girlfriends, they would be dealt with by the rule of law.

In essence, I find the laws of the West more in-line with Islam. Islam does not allow you to hit your children, especially on the face. Moreover, if someone wants to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, the parents are not the ones to decide. They can advise their children on what is right and what is wrong, but to hit them is totally against Islam. Raising one's children is hard work and dedication, you can't expect children to behave themselves automatically once they reach a mature age. People confound mature age with maturity. This is not correct.

If people don't want to follow their parents' rule then they should not do it in front of them, they should move out. They should have that much courtesy. And, parents should not keep children because of their "honour" when those children bring them nothing but grief.

Now the above might seem like a non-Pashtun solution, however, that is the reality when someone follows Islam to the T. Islam encourages the parents to take care of the children, and the children to take care of their parents, however, no one is bound to do it, one does it out of their goodness and feeling of love, and of course, fear of Allah. However, if push comes to shove, as is the case with most families, when they lose control over their children, the two should accept the reality of the situation, and for the sake of peace and peace of mind, and bite the bullet and move on.

People should live and let live. If Allah has given us free-will, then who are we as human beings to shackle other human beings.

[unknownprince]

The laws are very protective of women and children. Men are not so lucky.

If someone abuses their child, even as to slap them, children services would become involved and it could get ugly. And yes, if the parents do physically assault their children and their boyfriends or girlfriends, they would be dealt with by the rule of law.

In essence, I find the laws of the West more in-line with Islam. Islam does not allow you to hit your children, especially on the face. Moreover, if someone wants to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, the parents are not the ones to decide. They can advise their children on what is right and what is wrong, but to hit them is totally against Islam. Raising one's children is hard work and dedication, you can't expect children to behave themselves automatically once they reach a mature age. People confound mature age with maturity. This is not correct.

If people don't want to follow their parents' rule then they should not do it in front of them, they should move out. They should have that much courtesy. And, parents should not keep children because of their "honour" when those children bring them nothing but grief.

Now the above might seem like a non-Pashtun solution, however, that is the reality when someone follows Islam to the T. Islam encourages the parents to take care of the children, and the children to take care of their parents, however, no one is bound to do it, one does it out of their goodness and feeling of love, and of course, fear of Allah. However, if push comes to shove, as is the case with most families, when they lose control over their children, the two should accept the reality of the situation, and for the sake of peace and peace of mind, and bite the bullet and move on.

People should live and let live. If Allah has given us free-will, then who are we as human beings to shackle other human beings.

In Islam, parents have rights over their children, and parents can enforce rules. Had this not been the case, there would have already been widespread social decay within Pashtun communities. As it is, there is already a problem, but low and behold, the dirty individuals are outcasted for life.



I personally think that there is nothing wrong with getting spanked on the backside, as I was spanked while growing up on a number of occasions. It kept me in line.

Without discipline, the youth will be out of control, especially in Western societies where there are all sorts of freedoms.

[unknownprince]

No, we are bound to take care of our Parents and siblings.

Once people stop taking care of their parents and siblings, they are no longer Muslim in my opinion.

Within Pashtuns, this is also unheard of, as family is life. Without it, one is weak.

[Ashiq]

Parents have rights over their children until a certain age, if physical punishment is necessary in order to convey that then it should be done as a last resort, and not to inflict everlasting pain, but to send the message across. And, this should not become a practice, it should be the exception to the rule.

The upbringing of children in Islam is to attach them to their Creator from a very young age, and in-turn create law-abiding citizen for the benefit of any society.

Patience is a virtue, and raising your children with love can only inculcate love. Human beings are not donkeys, physical pain should never enter the realm of discipline, and if it needs to be then it should be in a way to shock the child about the gravity of the situation, nothing more and nothing less.

[Ashiq]

No, we are bound to take care of our Parents and siblings.

Once people stop taking care of their parents and siblings, they are no longer Muslim in my opinion.

Within Pashtuns, this is also unheard of, as family is life. Without it, one is weak.

I think you have misunderstood the application of the word "Muslim." You are using it too loosely. You can't kick someone out of Islam because they did not take care of their parents. This is not right.

The first and foremost application of the word Muslim is for someone to submit to One God and to not associate and partners with Him. Now, that said, if a parent or parents are waiting at the doorstep of their child in order to be taken care of, then that constitutes as shirk, associating partners. You don't have children so that they take care of you. You have children so as to not create a situation where our specie might extinct.

Moreover, once you have children you raise them as per your beliefs. If someone is a Muslim they should raise their children in such a way that they would have utmost respect for people and society altogether and not create disorder. If that child is raised with proper Islamic etiquette and standards then naturally that child out of fear of Allah and to win His pleasure would take care of his or her parents.

[Master Khan]

well if you grow your children up propaly in the west then you would have no problem, just don't spoil your kids too much because they will end up like a typical western teenager who have boyfirends or girlfriends, go clubing and do shamful things etc.

I don't like the Law in the UK about hitting your children because I believe hitting your kids helps them in the future and they will learn some manners aswell.

[Michin Khel]

Kids have no sense of right and wrong. If a kid is doing some thing wrong then a good beating or at least a slap must be awarded to him.

[Ashiq]

well if you grow your children up propaly in the west then you would have no problem, just don't spoil your kids too much because they will end up like a typical western teenager who have boyfirends or girlfriends, go clubing and do shamful things etc.

I don't like the Law in the UK about hitting your children because I believe hitting your kids helps them in the future and they will learn some manners aswell.

I think you have stated it well. It is about disciplining your child properly. You can't give a child candy and then take it away. Too much expression of love is very dangerous. Love does not need to always be expressed ;it has its proper moments and times.

[Ashiq]

Kids have no sense of right and wrong. If a kid is doing some thing wrong then a good beating or at least a slap must be awarded to him.

The yard-stick for punishing a child in such a way is that the parents should first and foremost look and assess their upbringing method. If the child's behaviour is a direct consequence of the influence of the society they are living in then that should also be taken into consideration. Consultation with experts should be sought in order to deal with one's child due to a bad influence of society.

I don't think that hitting children is proper, not at all. Children are not stupid, they are only ignorant. Monkey see monkey do. It is up to the parents to make sure that they raise their children as per Islamic dictations, otherwise, they do not have the right to hit their children.

[Master Khan]

The yard-stick for punishing a child in such a way is that the parents should first and foremost look and assess their upbringing method. If the child's behaviour is a direct consequence of the influence of the society they are living in then that should also be taken into consideration. Consultation with experts should be sought in order to deal with one's child due to a bad influence of society.

I don't think that hitting children is proper, not at all. Children are not stupid, they are only ignorant. Monkey see monkey do. It is up to the parents to make sure that they raise their children as per Islamic dictations, otherwise, they do not have the right to hit their children.

but if you hit them then they realise that if I do it again then they will hit me, so then the child won't do anything stupid again.
just give them a slap on the back and it will teach them a lesson.
teach them Pashto langauge, culture, history and Islam and that will help them alot.

[Michin Khel]

No fear inflict corrected-ness in kids, if the kid steal a thing he should be punished for it so that he will not dare to do it again.

[Ashiq]

but if you hit them then they realise that if I do it again then they will hit me, so then the child won't do anything stupid again.
just give them a slap on the back and it will teach them a lesson.
teach them Pashto langauge, culture, history and Islam and that will help them alot.

I think what we are encouraging is putting the cart before the horse. Hitting should be the ultimate last resort. One of the purposes of having children is to teach the parents themselves patience and discipline. You are a student until you die. So, just because you are a parent does not mean that you are fully disciplined and patient, and are fully in Allah's good books. Not at all. Children are not only for the purpose of bringing light to your home and keeping the family going; children are a means to reaching one's purpose of life. Hence, dealing with children in a loving manner will also teach the parents a lot about life, and understanding one's purpose. If children were meant to drive the parents crazy so as to make them hit their children, then I think we have misunderstood their purpose altogether. Remember that we were all children at one point.

[Ashiq]

No fear inflict corrected-ness in kids, if the kid steal a thing he should be punished for it so that he will not dare to do it again.

Punishment is not the only way of correcting a mistake. The Quranic injunction of cutting the hands is as a last resort, absolutely last resort. It is so, because it might be necessary and the only left alternative. Unfortunately, law makers in Islamic societies don't consider the affect of the society that has been created and instead punishment the first offender and in-turn disable him or her and make them a burden on the whole society.