Number of ur siblings

[Master Khan]

I only have one brother and no sisters

[IamDZJ]

A pashtun dont tell number of his sisters to pradi khalak.

and why not?

[Master Khan]

and why not?

because its a pashtun way

[Michin Khel]

and why not?

It is similar to the trend of not calling parants by their names. It may sounds strict and irrational but to us it perfectly feels normal and we are adjusted and tuned that no stranger is supposed to inquire some thing about our sisters. If some one asks, it feels offensive to us. You can say it is a norm of pashtun society.

[Sheenka]

thats wrong, men and women has the same right in islaam so sis and bro have equal right

to not tell other about our sister means we are ashamed of it, which makes us out of islaam, and thats what i really hate about pashtoons :@

[erlangner]

thats wrong, men and women has the same right in islaam so sis and bro have equal right

to not tell other about our sister means we are ashamed of it, which makes us out of islaam, and thats what i really hate about pashtoons :@

Sheenakay da muslamani darta dalta rayada shwa.
What you hate and what you like can be your own choice, however what is relevant and functioning in the society is somehting else.
cultures are cultures, and needs much time.
Brothers and sisters are equal and I think,, Pashtoons love their sisters as much someone else do. However he does it in the way different.

[Sheenka]

allahudallah muslamani rata har zi ki yada da aw wabasi its my identity

thats not to do with culture, if someone ask u how many sis and bro u have, u will only say bro?
what about sisters? arent human, arent they have right to be ur sisters? how comes it shows llove ur ashamed of it, is that love? if u not mention sis how comes u show that u love her?

[erlangner]

allahudallah muslamani rata har zi ki yada da aw wabasi its my identity

thats not to do with culture, if someone ask u how many sis and bro u have, u will only say bro?
what about sisters? arent human, arent they have right to be ur sisters? how comes it shows llove ur ashamed of it, is that love? if u not mention sis how comes u show that u love her?

As I told in the earlier post, men do not ask about sisters. Then question does not arise.

[*Mahzala*]

It's not to say people don't mention how many siblings they have. The point trying to be made is that women or females (family members of course) are not the center of a males conversation. And this is not limited to us. I read a feature article written by a British journalist a few days ago about the same thing. It doesn't suggest that men and women are not equal or that the gender not being spoken about is not human. That makes very little sense. It is just something men, Pakhtun in this sense, don't see the 'need' to talk about so openly. Pakhtun men and female honour was addressed in another thread. You may want to elaborate your views there.

[*Mahzala*]

allahudallah muslamani rata har zi ki yada da aw wabasi its my identity

thats not to do with culture, if someone ask u how many sis and bro u have, u will only say bro?
what about sisters? arent human, arent they have right to be ur sisters? how comes it shows llove ur ashamed of it, is that love? if u not mention sis how comes u show that u love her?

To one man praising her in the presence of another is love. To another, not making mention of her is his expression of love. It is his attempt at keeping her honour in place and not making her a part of every man's conversation. And how the sister perceives it, and how she defines love and wants it expressed may be entirely different. At the end of the day, what makes Pakhtuns different, and the part of our culture many women hate is this. Us women can never put ourselves in the shoes of a brother and sense the amount his carries on his shoulders in the name of (and for) his sisters. Sooner or later we realise how inexperienced and immature we were to say some things. If anything, I take pride in the fact that our men are possessive in that sense. I'd rather be a Pakhtana who is locked away, than a girl who goes with her brother to clubs (not just an example). To me, the brother-sister relationship is the one I value over others. My Brothers frown means more than all the riches of the world to me, because I know how many lessons there are in just that, so let alone a few words of advice he gives me.

A bit off topic, I apologise.

[Sheenka]

well, ok everyone has their own point of views, but to me sis and bro r equal and if anyone ask me i would proudly say how many sis and bro i have

[Sheenka]

being locked up, pakhtana, we can see the results of that anyways

[*Mahzala*]

being locked up, pakhtana, we can see the results of that anyways

What is your point?

[Sheenka]

take an example of taliban's time, no school for girls, women wont allowed to go out alone, if a women did a mistake, beat her in the middle of the city e.g. and who were they our own pashtoons, if they give respect why would u beat them in front of namahram in the city, i dont call that respect, honor or love etc
today u see all farsi spoken women has the best job and resepct what they want e.g. but pashtoons, to them have no respect nothing, farsi spoken ppl says pashtoons ladies are damb :@ and i have fought them for that so many times but obviously i dont have such evidence to support my point.

[*Mahzala*]

take an example of taliban's time, no school for girls, women wont allowed to go out alone, if a women did a mistake, beat her in the middle of the city e.g. and who were they our own pashtoons, if they give respect why would u beat them in front of namahram in the city, i dont call that respect, honor or love etc
today u see all farsi spoken women has the best job and resepct what they want e.g. but pashtoons, to them have no respect nothing, farsi spoken ppl says pashtoons ladies are damb :@ and i have fought them for that so many times but obviously i dont have such evidence to support my point.

My example was not to talk for every woman. Before stating it, I took into consideration my very own upbringing and values. Using the actions of the Taliban in this regard alongside the one I have made, in which I refer to my Brother, are two extremes I think. I am not for shooting a bullet through a woman's head in the presence of her husband and mother by someone who has a longer beard than her husband. In fact, quite frankly, I find that animalistic and inhumane. The point I was trying to make was that, depending on your social upbringing, it differs for every girl and boy. If it is your family custom to mingle with the opposite sex in gatherings and what not, this sort of question does not arise. On the other hand, a conservative, traditionalist male or female would be different.

And where the question of our education and employment levels are concerned, I would not put the entire blame on men. In the cases you mention, yes, the male members dominance may be a barrier to women getting an education or a job, however, it would be unfair to blame it entirely on them. In saying that, I am one who entertains the idea of women not given the chance to get an education. If anything, first and foremost, it is compulsory in our Deen; Seek knowledge from cradle to the grave. In saying that, if one's circumstances do not permit you to get an education by attending an institution, there are other means and you can choose these based on your own environment and possibilities. I am no one to speak for or about that as I am inexperienced when it comes to that context.