Marriage issue

[amna.]

Dont take girls back home to be absolute sweethearts. I 've known many Afghan women who 're all nicey nicey before marriage but once they land their feet in west they in a jiffy manage to make their husbands lose contact with their family. Afghans in west 're most of the time naive and dont think of chalbazi 'cause this isnt what they 're being thought, but be wary of people back home. I mean it.

The truth is spoken.

[IamDZJ]

Women are all like that. Family upbring is the onlything that matters. I know some girls in canada who act like divas.

[Fahd]

^ it's a shame in pashtun culture
and any girls become like that
they will put alot of name's on her
and if u don't care about what ppl saying u should first care about that god said thats harram

[afridi_iphone]

The thing is it doesn't matter if you marry someone from backhome or from the West......because either both of them can turn out to be good, but at the same time they can both turn out to be bad. If your considering to marry your mum's relative and even if you don't know her personally you can ask people about her.......now i know that no one can't know everything about a person........but people know if that person has a certain reputation........those people are normally associated with certain things and in the end of the day marriage is considered half your deen.....which means that it will be challenging, which means that throughout your lifetime you will have to be open to sacrifices and compromises.

Now someone who is educated is different to someone who is not........you know in the quran how they say that someone with knowledge compared with someone with lack of knowledge is like the difference between the day and night. Now the reason i say that educated and non educated people will have differences in terms of quite alot of things i.e. mentality. But i do think a relationship between the two will still work out because in the end of the day the character of a person matters more then their level of education. I think that theres a high chance of a relationship working out if the guy is educated, then if the girl is and the guy isnt.........because then they guy might feel some kind of threat to his authority and want her to stay at home etc.

How much I love your replay, you don't know that. Thank you very much for your time.

Since the ultra-westernization of back home in the last 7 years, surprisingly and interestingly you will now find even more girls with the previously-deemed-as mutually exclusive combo of American dreams plus brains because not only the secular forces have grown strong but also the “fundo” forces. Its a strange law of conservation of choosing a girl whether from here or there.

[kandahari ella]

Salaamona tolo Pukhtuna tha;

I have one question;
I know unfortunately most of our Pukhtanay Jelkay are uneducated. But can a well educated Pukhtun Halak get married with uneducated Pukhtana jalkay from back home.

I live in Canada and my parents want me to get married in back home from my mom side relatives. As I am not agreeing to that, I don't know but I found it hard and I think it would be hard for me to live with her because I did not seen her and she don’t know about me. Also I told my mom I want a girl who do parda and who save herself, also intellectual and well known into Islam.

My question is: is it OK to get married with uneducated or with educated girl in Pukhto culture? Would it be hard for both to understand each other or easier?
Yaoo Pukhtun Halak

Salam Afridi wora,
I'm not sure if this has been addressed in the other responses or not, but if you decide to marry someone from the motherland who lacks an education that you desire in a spouse that does not mean she's mentally challenged.. Yes, it'll be challenging for her in the beginning, but I believe that you can learn and educate yourself. If she's the type of girl you want then go for it, its her personality that matters after all. Personally, if you want to be with this girl or any other girl from back home, you need to learn of their interests, how they are and if you can picture being with them 50 years from now. You can always learn, no matter how old you are. It's not that, this female relative of yours never liked school and didn't want to educated, its just that sadly she never had the opportunity to learn more and be educated. This goes into the realm of being educated and learning Islam (if she does not know it). But you need to address these issues with her. See where both of you stand before you brush her off. Unless of course you really want a girl that lives on this side of the world. Then the whole scenario changes. Either way, good luck to you wrora.

[Zayam]

Da zrra pa stargo banyadam hagha sa ee’nee, sa che da sar da stargo panah wee” This is what I think is important! sometimes I wish we were all blind, so that we could just see with our hearts. People naturally are attracted to the looks, but in time looks fade, but if her or his heart is good, that is what is most important. The desire to learn, the desire to improve one's self, the desire to be a good Muslim, a kind heart....look for these in a spouse. You should look for someone who will not just be your husband or wife but will be your friend, someone to share good times, and not so good times, because together you are strong.

[JAMALUDEEN]

lol

[eyeliner]

How much I love your replay, you don't know that. Thank you very much for your time.

Since the ultra-westernization of back home in the last 7 years, surprisingly and interestingly you will now find even more girls with the previously-deemed-as mutually exclusive combo of American dreams plus brains because not only the secular forces have grown strong but also the “fundo” forces. Its a strange law of conservation of choosing a girl whether from here or there.

yes, well you know what they say times change, people change and situations change.

[Zazi Ghezal]

Marry the one who has deem and obey to Allah. If she is obey to the creature she will obey u. If she is disobey Allah she will disobey u. Doesn't matter about education okay
Think about it

[Zazi Ghezal]

Marry the one who has deen and obey to Allah. If she is obey to the creature she will obey u. If she is disobey Allah she will disobey u. Doesn't matter about education okay
Think about it

[Zazi Ghezal]

Marry the one who has deem and obey to Allah. If she is obey to the creature she will obey u. If she is disobey Allah she will disobey u. Doesn't matter about education okay
Think about it

[Zazi Ghezal]

Marry the one who has deen and obey to Allah. If she is obey to the creature she will obey u. If she is disobey Allah she will disobey u. Doesn't matter about education okay
Think about it

[IamDZJ]

for the love of God, stop it!

[Zazi Ghezal]

Marry the one who has deen and obey to Allah. If she is obey to the creature she will obey u. If she is disobey Allah she will disobey u. Doesn't matter about education okay
Think about it

[afridi_iphone]

Marry the one who has deen and obey to Allah. If she is obey to the creature she will obey u. If she is disobey Allah she will disobey u. Doesn't matter about education okay
Think about it

Thank you for your specious time... enshAllah...