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  • Best age for marriage?

    I am sure alot of you think that marriage should be between people of any age as long as they love each other and are good muslims etc etc. But I am asking what is the preferred age?




    This poll can refer to yourself, men or women (whatever you like). But in your post give an age for both men and women unless you think they should be the same/similar age. Thanks.


    Give reasons for your choice.
    51
    late teens
    13.73%
    7
    early twenties
    35.29%
    18
    late twenties
    29.41%
    15
    Thirties
    9.80%
    5
    40+
    11.76%
    6
    Last edited by Haris; 10-11-2011, 12:12 PM.
    ---
    To advise others is an easy matter, the difficulty is accepting advice -- since it is bitter for those who follow their
    own inclinations and desires
    .


    -Imam al Ghazali

  • #2
    Islam says as soon as one reaches to his puberty age. I can't go against the Islamic viewpoint but I just have my own view that one should marry in 23-24 so that when you get retired your children could support you. That way you can see your child in 20 years of age when you would be only 45. It looks so nice.

    Comment


    • #3
      i think everyone is different. Some may be ready in their late teens while others aren't ready until their thirties. i personally believe that for most people late teenagers (today) are not ready for marriage, and i think thirties may be a little too late, so 40+ should be out of the picture :P
      But again everyone is different and they should get married when ever they feel ready to.

      Comment


      • #4
        Diference people living in our pukhtoon culture .

        Rich people : Har wakht wada kawalay sheee

        poor people: always poor people didnt spend too much on married only they bring a girl to thier home for some house job .
        a mashoomwalee na pa mazdooro lagya wee no sook zar wada ookrree aw sook deera mooda daghase nast wee zaka che da koor halat Ejazat na werkawee.
        middle class: 22- 24 study khatma krree bya job pa se gerzee bya doomra sa lag deer zan jorr krree che wada ookrree .

        kho yaw tabqa dase da che haghoi taleem ookrree bya da khwaindoo wadoona khlas krree pas da haghe na wada ookrreee .

        bahar hal 27 to 30 kha age da da wada da para
        3 , 4 kala lage maze ham aghastal pakar dee da jwand na
        che wada oshee bya kho da khpoo na ootharralay sheee
        JORO ka GHULAM lol

        Comment


        • #5
          people have different expectations from life. personally i don't think its good to marry at a young age. some say that way you both grow up at the same time but people change over time. it's better to know yourself well before you bring a second person in to your life.
          if you are a girl and average looking then you should marry in your early 20s. if you are a guy who is going bald then don't wait until you are 30. otherwise you should marry when you are 28 and he is 33.

          I am no bird, and no nest ensnares me.

          non commercial would cost less if he was in charge himself which he plans on doing. right now it's n herat but soon it will be in qanadahar.

          Comment


          • #6
            Having first child of 20 years in 44 looks so nice... Those who marry in 34, 35 hardly see their grand children Lol.

            Comment


            • #7
              sacrifice life as you want today so 50 years later you get to see your grandchildren?? what if your children want to marry late? i suppose you could always make that your own business and mingle in to their lives by forcing them to have kids when you want to...
              it's much better to live in today and deal with tomorrow tomorrow.
              live your own life let others live theirs.

              I am no bird, and no nest ensnares me.

              non commercial would cost less if he was in charge himself which he plans on doing. right now it's n herat but soon it will be in qanadahar.

              Comment


              • #8
                I have never said i am going to force them.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I got married young - at twenty. She had just turned seventeen. About as arranged as you can get. We were parents within the first year, before I graduated and to do so, I dropped out of full-time work to study - and she took a part-time job. We're now both educationalists.

                  We've lived in a joint family situation, on our own, rented, paid-for, out of suitcases and in some very plush settings, across three continents and travelled the word in-between with the children in tow. There have been periods of family support and periods where we have needed to assert ourselves before both sets of parents. We have always remained respectful and will find safe ways of dealing with pressures when the answer aught to be "No".

                  We're not exceptional, but one thing I do feel very strongly about. Nowadays, too many marriages collapse at the first hurdle because people are more selfish. Ultimately we're all individuals, but it is completely pointless thinking like that if you are in any kind of relationship. And in our culture, relationships go beyond newly-wed joy. There is hardship and challenge and that comes at any age. If you are prepared for that, then early marriage is the best way to go, because it accords with the Sunnah.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Killzai
                    I believe you should only get married when you have a place to live and enough money to support yourselves.

                    That is my belief. I would not like to get married whilst I am still in University. After you graduate and find a good stable job then I think it would be best to marry.
                    ---
                    To advise others is an easy matter, the difficulty is accepting advice -- since it is bitter for those who follow their
                    own inclinations and desires
                    .


                    -Imam al Ghazali

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Salamoona to all,

                      I am new to this website and really enjoying the different discussions. The best part is that people are not biting each other's heads off.


                      As for the marriage age, I would change the categories a bit (this is my new generations thinking)

                      Late Teens-22

                      23-27 ----- Usually at the end of these two ages people are either done with Undergraduate or Postgraduate schooling.

                      27-30

                      30+


                      I believe between 23-27 is a good age. Education should be completed and you should have a job. Marrying at a younger age is in some ways I believe good because couples could accommodate to each other easier.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        There isnt a fixed age. Reasonably, its when one is mature and ready to take on the responsibility, not just for marriage, but also for a future family.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by tor_khan View Post
                          I got married young - at twenty. She had just turned seventeen. About as arranged as you can get. We were parents within the first year, before I graduated and to do so, I dropped out of full-time work to study - and she took a part-time job. We're now both educationalists.

                          We've lived in a joint family situation, on our own, rented, paid-for, out of suitcases and in some very plush settings, across three continents and travelled the word in-between with the children in tow. There have been periods of family support and periods where we have needed to assert ourselves before both sets of parents. We have always remained respectful and will find safe ways of dealing with pressures when the answer aught to be "No".

                          We're not exceptional, but one thing I do feel very strongly about. Nowadays, too many marriages collapse at the first hurdle because people are more selfish. Ultimately we're all individuals, but it is completely pointless thinking like that if you are in any kind of relationship. And in our culture, relationships go beyond newly-wed joy. There is hardship and challenge and that comes at any age. If you are prepared for that, then early marriage is the best way to go, because it accords with the Sunnah.
                          You got married at 20? Thats explains why I thought you were 50.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I know these people who got married at 18.

                            everyone thinks they are weird

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              The best age for marriage is when you think you are ready. You should also be able to support yourself. I'd say mid-twenties.
                              Even Adobe Photoshop can't change me.

                              A line[Durrand line] of hatred that raised a wall between the two brothers -Hamid Karzai

                              For generations, the Hindus of India prayed for deliverance from "the venom of the cobra, the teeth of the tiger and the vengeance of the Afghan."


                              The men of Kábul and Khilj also went home; and whenever they were questioned about the Musulmáns of the Kohistán (the mountains), and how matters stood there, they said, "Don't call it Kohistán, but Afghánistán; for there is nothing there but Afgháns and disturbances." Thus it is clear that for this reason the people of the country call their home in their own language Afghánistán, and themselves Afgháns. The people of India call them Patán; but the reason for this is not known. But it occurs to me, that when, under the rule of Muhammadan sovereigns, Musulmáns first came to the city of Patná, and dwelt there, the people of India (for that reason) called them Patáns—but God knows!

                              -Ferishta, 1560–1620

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