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Originally posted by Shayesta
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Bachabazi and saudi princes are only a small subset of a larger population. Licentuous activities, like Mardigrass or frat parties in universities or the disco/drug culture is an epidemic in the west.
Compared to the west, the islamic countries do not flaunt immoral activities in the public sphere. Here in the west, small girls like hanna montana are taught to flaunt their sexuality from the age of 14. Teen pregnancies rampant. Don't you watch jerry springer? Even those bacha baz and saudi womenizers do their affairs in private. They wouldn't dare do it in Public. And you are in a Public Forum. Keep that in mind sister.
And this is the mentality you have been brought up with?; Western girls are cheap, disloyal, culture-less, etcetera? I guess you are right, a woman's enemy is a woman indeed.
My mother didn't have to tell me all that. She doesn't even know of it. And even you are not aware of it apparently. So don't think that westernized girls have values. The west doesn't have values because to them "god is dead".
None in our older generation was happy with their marriages, yet they got very well mannered children. People learn to act in front of others, regardless their problems.
That is on account of their patience which stems from their Iman.
So if divorce rates are high now, its simply goes to show that people have less patience with each other.
I am sorry to hear that your ancestors marriages were disastrous. This is not true in my family. Certainly not true in many of the pashtun families that we have relations with either. Perhaps this misery is a by product of your own flawed perception of reality.
So it's a fact that West is a immoral place to live at? I guess it's also a fact all Muslims are terrorists, all Pukhtoons are Taliban, all Tajiks are bachabazan and all white people are racists; After all, you got history, statistics and personal experiences for these events as well, init? Generalisation is a huge illness, let's get rid of it as soon as we can please.
Though, interesting to note that rationality is a masculine trait.
Western culture is based on Dionysian principles. This is why alcohol is legal, prostitution is legal, gay marriage is legal, pornography is legal etc etc etc. We are talking about a society were children as young as 5 years of age are taught of perverse acts such as "Fisting" in public schools.
It was you who came up with comparing women locked up and women out there 'in the open', not me. If with Pukhtoon culture you mean Pakhtunwali, I think we both know how 'not strict' it is. Nonetheless, if it wasn't for my mother, God knows what life I would have lived now. My mother and aunts went through hell and they did everything they could to prevent same life to their daughters, and Alhamdulillah succeeded. It's a deep story out there, let's keep it so.
Whatever happened to you is your Qismat.
Whether I said it or not... you regurgitated.
And no, our culture is not "strict". You are trying to formulate your experiences into a general equation for everyone else. It doesn't work like that. If we go deep into your story, I doubt we'll find anything wrong with the culture. You, your aunt, your mother are all a product of that culture that you call "restrictive". It was that culture that gave you the drive. So what criticism do you have against it? If you are not saying you are locked up, then what are you? Guided by brothers and father? Well, that didn't happen to you..infact you said your brothers didn't even bother to lock you up so why would you say that to begin with? Confused much? Or has this become about your ego now?
And yet you criticized working women........?
My father has ghairat.
I do, that's why I am speaking about it. You yourself said you men ain't listeners, so how do you as a man know what life a woman back home lives? Have you spoken to her? Have you listened to their stories? I have, that's why I am grateful to the position I am at today. Forget women back home, I even talking about the misery my own relatives went through, and some of still going through. I know very, very well what I am talking about.
No one out there has lived a happy and blissful life, unless Allah willed it for them.
"La Yukallifullahu Nafsan illa Wusa3aha" Allah does not burden a soul (nafs) more than it can handle.
Even the Prophets, peace be upon them, went through hardship.
So what is your argument? That men make women's life hard? Really?
I know she wasn't, but she was Paighambar's wife and our Paighambar could have rejected her for the very same reasons you named (working for make-up, study to get attention, etcetera) in your previous message, which he didn't. Which proves right there that there is nothing wrong with studying and working women.
KHadjia, radialla anha, didn't work for ANYONE.
Most of you women work for other men. You have a boss who tells you what to do. Khadjia was her own Boss. She was Muhamme's, peace be upon him, employer. See the difference?
And no, she didn't go and study under strange men to gain knowledge.
Still you don't get it.
Even Bibi Aisha's marriage was arranged by her father, Abu Bakr (ra). Fatimatul Zahra, her marriage was arranged by her father, The Prophet, pbuh. Even khadija (ra) her previous marriages were arranged by her father.
Did any of them sit there and complain "Oh my father forced me to marry...." get real sister. Where is their mentality and where is yours?
Where did you meet your husband before anyway? In the university?
And that need can overcome any woman any day, therefore there is nothing wrong in studying now and securing your future just in case.
Qismat.
It might not always, I will nonetheless be surprised if for example someone who read a Quran-e-Sharif knows less than someone who isn't capable of reading it.
The word Qur'an means RECITE
Not "read". Although most translate it to "Read" but that is the limitation of the english language. So in essence, one does not need to be able to read, since the holy prophet peace be upon him was not able to read either. So ponder on that further.
Nor does illiteracy, so what's wrong with taking your chance with education just in case? Especially when you got the opportunity for it?
I never disagreed with Kakar, didn't even argue with her. I just pointed out one small point which had nothing to do with her lifestyle, at all. But that's between me and her, she can question me if any misunderstandings are there.
You guys are being too harsh on Roshina. Though she can defend herself perfectly well, even she has got an opinion and she could have faked everything and go with the flow, but she isn't a farce. Let her speak her mind, just like how she doesn't call anyone by names for disagreeing with her, I don't understand why others who disagree with her can't show the same level of decency?
Roshina is a perfect example of what is wrong with the education system.
I'd like to read what is on HER mind for a change. But so far all she has done is post farcicle nonsense. If she really has an objective statement to make, then where is it? She is just a show... just like how you are arguing me with no clear point in mind. You keep missing the bigger picture sister. You got granny faye thanking you because you seem to validate her own choices in life. If I were a betting man, I'd bet she doesn't have any children. So to conclude - pashtun culture is not restrictive on women (relatively speaking) and western culture is debunked and immoral. Aaah thank you : )
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