Guys Trying to Pick Me Up From Their Cars?

[gina1]

Hey guys,

I am a lurker once in a blue moon I guess although I don't post. Today I made an account to ask this question to a Pashtun audience because I feel like you'll understand me better, maybe?

So I recently came to the UAE. I'm a young female. I noticed something I hadn't experienced in the West. Men here offer me car rides. A wealthy Arab will see me waiting in a corner (for a taxi, for instance) and pull over from the road and motion for me to get in the car. The most recent: first he slowed down and drove past staring at me with a big smile. Then he appeared again minutes later and motioned for me to get in the car. I walked past but maybe he thought I was cooperating (eww) and so he parked toward the area I was headed, waiting for me. I then left and he appeared minutes later again and pulled over saying "assalamu alakum" but I didn't make eye contact with him and briskly walked past. It's happened before too but this time it was 10 pm (I know I shouldn't have been out that late) and now I am doubtful, hoping that it is not because they think badly of me. What does this mean for me in terms of how I am viewed by these people? Do they think I am a trashy call-girl? Are they looking for something temporary or is there a chance they might be genuinely interested in marriage? For the record, I wear hijab, abaya, and no makeup so I have no idea why they're doing this. Why would a prostitute (sorry for the language) be dressed like this? Is it possible? Because I have no idea.

Also, I want to marry a Pashtun but it is not so easy to meet a suitable one (in terms of finances, for instance). What would happen if I just gave in one time, and reciprocated interest in an Emirati and got married? Sometimes I wonder. But then again I feel like I am so naive because I've never been in a relationship before and don't want to get taken advantage of.

[toughpashtun]

Hey guys,

I am a lurker once in a blue moon I guess although I don't post. Today I made an account to ask this question to a Pashtun audience because I feel like you'll understand me better, maybe?

So I recently came to the UAE. I'm a young female. I noticed something I hadn't experienced in the West. Men here offer me car rides. A wealthy Arab will see me waiting in a corner (for a taxi, for instance) and pull over from the road and motion for me to get in the car. I ignored the most recent Emirati. First he slowed down and drove past staring at me with a big smile. Then he appeared again minutes later and motioned for me to get in the car. I walked past but maybe he thought I was cooperating (eww) and so he parked toward the area I was headed, waiting for me. I then left and he appeared minutes later again and pulled over saying "assalamu alakum" but I didn't make eye contact with him and briskly walked past. It's happened before too but this time it was 10 pm (I know I shouldn't have been out that late) and now I am doubtful, hoping that it is not because they think badly of me. What does this mean for me in terms of how I am viewed by a Muslim man from the Middle-east/ Muslim country? Do they think I am a trashy call-girl? Are they looking for something temporary or is there a chance they might be genuinely interested in marriage? For the record, I wear hijab, abaya, and no makeup so I have no idea why they're doing this. Why would a prostitute (sorry for the language) be dressed like this? Is it possible? Because I have no idea.

Also, I want to marry a Pashtun but it is not so easy to meet a suitable one (in terms of finances, for instance). What would happen if I just gave in one time, and reciprocated interest in an Arab and finally got married? Lol..Sometimes I wonder. But then again I feel like I am so naive because I've never been in a relationship before and don't want to get taken advantage of.

The dynamics of Western society are very different from the Arab or Afghan/Pakistani society. In the West, most men get the chance to interact freely and frequently with women be it at the workplace,school etc. So they build their relationships in a natural manner,and do not appear as creepy.
In our areas,including the Arab countries, contact between men and women is limited.So those men who are desperate to get a girlfriend, or even a prostitute for a short while(sorry to use this word) , then they try to pick on any vulnerable woman.
I'll give you an example.A local TV reporter based in Peshawar(Pakistan) dressed up as a woman and was walking on the roads of Peshawar.He was having himself secretly filmed. You will be surprised to see that so many men stopped their cars and taxis and motorcycles to talk to him and get him to go with them for 'you know what'.
I hope I have shed some light on this and you will not be so confused now.
Lastly, since you have declared yourself 'eligible for marriage', I am sure you'll get many personal messages from some of our chaps here.

[gina1]

The dynamics of Western society are very different from the Arab or Afghan/Pakistani society. In the West, most men get the chance to interact freely and frequently with women be it at the workplace,school etc. So they build their relationships in a natural manner,and do not appear as creepy.
In our areas,including the Arab countries, contact between men and women is limited.So those men who are desperate to get a girlfriend, or even a prostitute for a short while(sorry to use this word) , then they try to pick on any vulnerable woman.
I'll give you an example.A local TV reporter based in Peshawar(Pakistan) dressed up as a woman and was walking on the roads of Peshawar.He was having himself secretly filmed. You will be surprised to see that so many men stopped their cars and taxis and motorcycles to talk to him and get him to go with them for 'you know what'.
I hope I have shed some light on this and you will not be so confused now.
Lastly, since you have declared yourself 'eligible for marriage', I am sure you'll get many personal messages from some of our chaps here.

Dubai is a very metropolitan city and there is no segregation. It is not an Islamic society. It is very much like the West. Women are easily available to wealthy Arabs--they can get anyone they want.I am just worried they might think I am bad. The other times it was in broad daylight but this recent case was around 10 pm and it made me feel insecure and I'm hoping he didn't see me disrespectfully.

[Karachi]

Hey guys,

I am a lurker once in a blue moon I guess although I don't post. Today I made an account to ask this question to a Pashtun audience because I feel like you'll understand me better, maybe?

So I recently came to the UAE. I'm a young female. I noticed something I hadn't experienced in the West. Men here offer me car rides. A wealthy Arab will see me waiting in a corner (for a taxi, for instance) and pull over from the road and motion for me to get in the car. I ignored the most recent Emirati. First he slowed down and drove past staring at me with a big smile. Then he appeared again minutes later and motioned for me to get in the car. I walked past but maybe he thought I was cooperating (eww) and so he parked toward the area I was headed, waiting for me. I then left and he appeared minutes later again and pulled over saying "assalamu alakum" but I didn't make eye contact with him and briskly walked past. It's happened before too but this time it was 10 pm (I know I shouldn't have been out that late) and now I am doubtful, hoping that it is not because they think badly of me. What does this mean for me in terms of how I am viewed by a Muslim man from the Middle-east/ Muslim country? Do they think I am a trashy call-girl? Are they looking for something temporary or is there a chance they might be genuinely interested in marriage? For the record, I wear hijab, abaya, and no makeup so I have no idea why they're doing this. Why would a prostitute (sorry for the language) be dressed like this? Is it possible? Because I have no idea.

Also, I want to marry a Pashtun but it is not so easy to meet a suitable one (in terms of finances, for instance). What would happen if I just gave in one time, and reciprocated interest in an Arab and finally got married? Lol..Sometimes I wonder. But then again I feel like I am so naive because I've never been in a relationship before and don't want to get taken advantage of.

Dubai is exactly like west, it has very little eastern culture, the difference though is that arab guys are very horny, compared to average westerners, this is why there is such a huge pick up culture in UAE. They love to pick up Iranian girls,I guess western looking Afghan ones too

[gina1]

Dubai is exactly like west, it has very little eastern culture, the difference though is that arab guys are very horny, compared to average westerners, this is why there is such a huge pick up culture in UAE. They love to pick up Iranian girls,I guess western looking Afghan ones too

I know you probably just want to know what I look like now. I am pretty sure they can't tell my nationality so readily when I am dressed in an abaya and hijab from their cars. Because of the way I dress, I actually get mistaken for a (non-local) Arab more than anything. Local Arab women from the UAE wear all black so can be distinguished that way.

[DaZahroJaam.]

When you are in a Muslim country, avoid making eye contact with men. If you accidentally make eye contact, make sure you don't have a blank, curious or pleasant (smiling) expression on your face. You might be confused as to what you are seeing, they see you not looking away or giving out a negative reaction and assume you are interested.
If you marry an Arab, I can guarantee you that you won't be his only wife. In a couple of years from now when you are middle aged with 3 kids, you would be replaced with a newer wife and your kids won't be allowed to leave the country without their father's permission. If you want a five year long marriage, go for it.

[gina1]

When you are in a Muslim country, avoid making eye contact with men. If you accidentally make eye contact, make sure you don't have a blank, curious or pleasant (smiling) expression on your face. You might be confused as to what you are seeing, they see you not looking away or giving out a negative reaction and assume you are interested.
If you marry an Arab, I can guarantee you that you won't be his only wife. In a couple of years from now when you are middle aged with 3 kids, you would be replaced with a newer wife and your kids won't be allowed to leave the country without their father's permission. If you want a five year long marriage, go for it.

It isn't about eye contact because I am outside whereas they are in their cars. I don't even see or notice them until they come up to me and even then I look away. These men are obviously already married but they marry multiple times.

[Manzareh]

This is quite a sad post. I don't know what is worse.. A hungry guy looking for easy meat on the street OR the girl that is being preyed upon worrying what the creep would think of her.

The biggest problem here is that you do not seem to be worried about men lurking around pestering random women to get into their vehiles, rather you are more concerned about how you are being viewed by the creeps!.. Lol it almost seems as though you don't really mind as long as there is a chance the hunter could possibly be after you for a long term relationship, you would think about risking it for wealth or a chance with a rich guy :-| My question to you would be: (Even for long term) would you be satisfied with a man that doesn't even have the decencey enough to approach you in the correct manner with the respect that a woman deserves, would Emiratee women be approached in such a manner? You are not lower than them.. If they are conducting themself in such a manner with you, then you are not the only woman they've tried it on..Please do not degrade yourself to be a trophy for a player testing his luck, Out of a hundred females maybe one will entertain them, do not be that one. Just because he is wealthy and a local Arab you would even contemplate responding to him waving you down like a peice of meat?? That's nuts!! That behaviour is illegal in Dubai and classed as sexual harassment, the next time some guy tries it I would threaten to take his registeration down to scare him, maybe you could save other women from such nuisances in the future. All the best, stay safe sister.

[DaZahroJaam.]

Stop wandering around on the street, alone and at ten o clock at night in a country where men tend to behave like that.
And what exactly do you mean by Pashtun men are not being financially suitable for marriage?? What do you eat??
And while we are at it, what is preventing you from adding your own share of responsibility to the financial income of your future household expenses.

[Elite Pakhtun]

Also, I want to marry a Pashtun but it is not so easy to meet a suitable one (in terms of finances, for instance).

Hi gina1. My only advice is that the above quoted portion gives the (most likely false) impression that you are a gold digger. I would suggest not stating that you're looking for someone with money anywhere where you're hoping to be courted. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure many guys will not care, and court you regardless. But there are definitely some that will just ignore you/write you off just because of this.

[gina1]

Stop wandering around on the street, alone and at ten o clock at night in a country where men tend to behave like that.
And what exactly do you mean by Pashtun men are not being financially suitable for marriage?? What do you eat??
And while we are at it, what is preventing you from adding your own share of responsibility to the financial income of your future household expenses.

Who said I was wandering around on the street? It was something I had to do and that was the only time I could because the hours for it began after 8:30 pm. The volunteers at the center only work after 8:30 because in the day-time they have their day-jobs. Now you're probably wondering what kind of center it was, lol. What I meant by that comment was that the only Pashtuns I do see tend to be taxi drivers or laborers. Why should I marry someone who I will have to help financially when I can marry someone who I won't have to. Kind of common sense.

[gina1]

Hi gina1. My only advice is that the above quoted portion gives the (most likely false) impression that you are a gold digger. I would suggest not stating that you're looking for someone with money anywhere where you're hoping to be courted. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure many guys will not care, and court you regardless. But there are definitely some that will just ignore you/write you off just because of this.

Umm, yeah. That's common sense--I wouldn't openly tell someone that, but I said it openly here because I am not looking to get "courted" from these forums, lol. Thanks for the concern anyway.

[DaZahroJaam.]

Who said I was wandering around on the street? It was something I had to do and that was the only time I could because the hours for it began after 8:30 pm. The volunteers at the center only work after 8:30 because in the day-time they have their day-jobs. Now you're probably wondering what kind of center it was, lol. What I meant by that comment was that the only Pashtuns I do see tend to be taxi drivers or laborers. Why should I marry someone who I will have to help financially when I can marry someone who I won't have to. Kind of common sense.

Because it's better than marrying a man for his money and then being discarded shortly after, like a prostitute.

If you are in danger of being sexually harassed, or worse, there is nothing that can be important enough for you to justify putting yourself in that position for. If they are driving close enough for you to hear them talk to you, they can open the door and yank you right in to the car.
Dress in a way so they can't tell your age. I am sure men in Saudi are not driving around in the streets at night, calling on women who could be old enough to be their mothers.

You come across as a woman who has put herself up on display to be sold to the highest bidder in exchange for money. Labourer or not, Pashtun men don't marry such women.
You actually deserve a sheikh. Go ahead and marry one.

[gina1]

Because it's better than marrying a man for his money and then being discarded shortly after, like a prostitute.

If you are in danger of being sexually harassed, or worse, there is nothing that can be important enough for you to justify putting yourself in that position for. If they are driving close enough for you to hear them talk to you, they can open the door and yank you right in to the car.
Dress in a way so they can't tell your age. I am sure men in Saudi are not driving around in the streets at night, calling on women who could be old enough to be their mothers.

You come across as a woman who has put herself up on display to be sold to the highest bidder in exchange for money. Labourer or not, Pashtun men don't marry such women.
You actually deserve a sheikh. Go ahead and marry one.

If I was how you depict me as, I wouldn't have avoided getting into a relationship my whole life. I have good morals, alhamdulillah. But anyways I would never go for someone just for their money. There are things even more important such as religion, background, character, looks, etc.

But the topic seems to be steering in a direction that was not my intention. My question was (and this is aimed at males because only males understand their own behavior) are people who act this way only interested in taking advantage or is there a possibility that they are genuinely interested in me

[toughpashtun]

This is quite a sad post. I don't know what is worse.. A hungry guy looking for easy meat on the street OR the girl that is being preyed upon worrying what the creep would think of her.

The biggest problem here is that you do not seem to be worried about men lurking around pestering random women to get into their vehiles, rather you are more concerned about how you are being viewed by the creeps!.. Lol it almost seems as though you don't really mind as long as there is a chance the hunter could possibly be after you for a long term relationship, you would think about risking it for wealth or a chance with a rich guy :-| My question to you would be: (Even for long term) would you be satisfied with a man that doesn't even have the decencey enough to approach you in the correct manner with the respect that a woman deserves, would Emiratee women be approached in such a manner? You are not lower than them.. If they are conducting themself in such a manner with you, then you are not the only woman they've tried it on..Please do not degrade yourself to be a trophy for a player testing his luck, Out of a hundred females maybe one will entertain them, do not be that one. Just because he is wealthy and a local Arab you would even contemplate responding to him waving you down like a peice of meat?? That's nuts!! That behaviour is illegal in Dubai and classed as sexual harassment, the next time some guy tries it I would threaten to take his registeration down to scare him, maybe you could save other women from such nuisances in the future. All the best, stay safe sister.

You said it.This is the best way to go about it,imo.