Relationships before marriage

[AfghanSoulja]

What do you lot think ? Are people better off in the married life if they've had a relationship with the person before ?

What about the guys who've had relationships ? More than one
what do people think about them

[Laila]

Hmmm.....away from religion and culture, i personally do not want to date. I think at times relationships are total bs. I mean its like when you are seeing a guy/girl you are putting this mask on.....

I do think people are better off in a marriage if they knew one another, but that doesnt mean 'dating.'

so Soulja....what do you think about relationship before marriage?

[AfghanSoulja]

I think everyone does it or tries atleast if they get the oppurtunity.. There is no fine line between dating and getting acquainted.. If two people like eachother and meet each other it's dating.. I don't have a problem with it I guess, I hate people who lie about their past tho.. Or hypocrites who do it and then pretend to be religious

[Laila]

Yeah some do choose to date the person before marrying them....but damn that disappointment from my parents is something i cannot bear.

[Max]

mine just left meee

[Laila]

mine just left meee

My brothers girlfriend of nearly a year broke up with him last month.

[AfghanSoulja]

It's complicated I guess, parents are definitely an important part of the equation.

Are people more happy if it's an arranged marriage ? How can someone force themselves to like someone

[Max]

My brothers girlfriend of nearly a year broke up with him last month.

tell him he is welcome at the karoeke night

[Laila]

It's complicated I guess, parents are definitely an important part of the equation.

Are people more happy if it's an arranged marriage ? How can someone force themselves to like someone

Hmmm arranged marriage does not necessarily mean that 'you are forced to love the one you marry.' I think 'love' gets developed as you are with someone.

The way i see it, arranged marriage is great. Families want the best for you, they find someone who they know will be somewhat compatible and in your interest level. Now, some families do allow you to get to know that person, and some are strict, and more conservative.

I dunno my brother thought he was in love, but the person who loves you wouldnt have really left you. So it was a hard reality to him.

[Laila]

tell him he is welcome at the karoeke night

LOL alrighty maybe next weekend....he went out with his friends tonight.

[MeemWawMeemNoon]

Pray for mutual understanding and compatibility,then love. Not other way around.

[AfghanSoulja]

In arranged marriages your happy because the people around you are happy, that's an empty life.. Atleast it seems lIke it.. As for falling in love after marriage, well you don't really have a choice other than to like the other person..it's like two cops even if they don't like eachother they got eachother's back

As for love it iself, I think no such thing exists .. In time eveything fades away

[MeemWawMeemNoon]

How could a marriage that does not have compatibility and understanding have love or caring?

[Palwasha]

I think everyone does it or tries atleast if they get the oppurtunity..

Hmm, I disagree, because these days everyone has the oppurtunity to find partners, but not everyone chooses to. Something I respect greatly - when someone chooses their religion, values and especially God, before love.

I'm not for the idea of a relationship before marriage, purely on the basis it's haraam and not advised Islamically. Once upon a time never used to understand why everything was always so segregated in Islam, and why the opposite sexes aren't allowed to mingle much, but I've seen with my own eyes how a hello turns into a firendly chat, which develps into a relationship and then love..the guidelines given to us to follow are for our own good.

Love, lust and such desires are placed in our hearts as temptations, as our test. You should never go with your heart, always with your mind.. desires lead to destruction.

Pray for mutual understanding and compatibility,then love. Not other way around.

Agreed.

As Brit Chick said in the arranged marriage thread (here):

Love marriage - you marry the person you love.
Arranged marriage - you love the person you marry.

[Master Khan]

Da Boyfriend, girlfriend tool pazoly di.