Girls..Help!

[Iqra]

[kakargirl]

Muska khor you said one thing that made me think, about not being able to sit or discuss a problem either with your mother in law as shes not sweet, my mother is like that and shes not even my mother in law so i think your mother in laws character is like that sometimes they become like that if they had a harsh strict mother or mother in law themselves it makes them bitter and dominating, that only their own way is good and nothing else is acceptable, but usually its because they were constantly critized so khorai i know you prayer khorai, i would just advice you to be patient and avoid any conflict khorai and just prayer read surahs and ask allah swt to soften her and put her dominating guard down, i know for a fact my mother had a harsh strict mother and mother in law afghan pashtun women are like that thats why i always say who said these women are opressed by men its women doing it them selves.

[Manzareh]

^ great points Kakargil

[Azad Khel]

I have a very sweet mother in law, or may thats caz i live away from her? haha. anyways we get along very well whenever we are together... laugh, make jokes, go shopping together ( I am serious )

but in any case, if i find any of her attitude any disrespectful or demeaning, I make sure i make her son aware of the situation. Because i am a normal human being and there is only so much i can take. I think of it as this... if i don't discuss these problems with my husband now and it gets increasing day by day, then there will be a time that i might explode and all my anger would come out and my husband will be completely shocked. and he will think his wife has lost her mind and is acting this way for no reason (well because he isn't aware that its happening for the past whatever amount of time, caz i wanted be goody goody and hide it)

I am very comfortable with my husband i share a comfort level that most couples don't share when it comes to our families... so i can straight tell him how i feel about something. and i have given him the right to tell me what he doesn't like in my family's behaviour... its healthy to talk about things... very unhealthy to hide it.

i am not suggesting you talk to him in a way that would make him feel bad. rather tell him you want to share your situation with him. you want to share what your going through with him and you seek his advice. what should you do in this situation, ask him for an answer. he might just say ignore her all together... and it will be easier for u to do so and not feel guilty about it. as it is what her son suggested anyways.

one more thing that will be beneficial is that he will notice his mom's behaviour... right now he isn't aware of anything, but if u tell him about it, he will start observing his mother.

it takes a lot of maturity of mind from both sides (husband and wife) to handle such situations... but sad part is most couples are not mentally mature like that. hence, u see most families at each other's throat.

you shouldn't expect ur husband to solve it. u do that urself... but u make sure he is aware of it. start a conversation wit him with a note "dear, i need your help in something, i can't seem to be able to handle this by myself without ur emotional support. and your suggestions... " and u can start talking about the probelm.

A very great and mature advice bu Gul.................She should be paid for such wonderful advice.

[Iqra]

^ She is paid honor and respect, mashaAllah <3