Controversial customs among Pashtuns

[khushal]

Zazai would be cousin of mangal ?... you are from paktia....paktia is my favourite place in afghanistan, we marwats still have not forgotten about our original abode katawaz...

Zazai was the brother of Turi. Mangal is the rival of both zazai and turi. Mangal is either the cousin or second cousin.
Paktia is beautiful, the landscape is similar to waziristan and kuram.
do you have any video of katawaz atan marwat style.

[Khostai]

I don't know how Pashtuns are in Pakistan but in Khostn if the girl was 10 or 11 she was not allowed to go outside on her own, she must stay at home like for ever only on eids she went to relatives whith her mother. So going to school or just walk to a shop on your own is not possibel. This I find so hard, this was the first reason that I thanked Allah for me making me a boy and not a girl. My parents said to me its becuase outside is not safe for girls if they are alone thats way they must stay the rest of there life in a house. I didn't understand that really at that time but I do understand it know, buts still I find it really hard to stay all the time at home and cleaning and washing, and not to forget in rurral ereas you don't have tv that you can watch, or elektric washingmashine that can easy your live, so you have to do everything whith your own hands.

[Michin Khel]

Zazai was the brother of Turi. Mangal is the rival of both zazai and turi. Mangal is either the cousin or second cousin.
Paktia is beautiful, the landscape is similar to waziristan and kuram.
do you have any video of katawaz atan marwat style.

Interesting. Yes mashallah paktia is very beautiful mountainous region....i am a inhabitant of desert, so i am strogely attracted towards mountains. Iqbal says about people of desert and mountain,

"fitrat k asoolo ki karta he nagehbani
ya banda-e-sehrai ya mard-e-kohistani"

Marwats have their own unique style of attan, i have tried to find its video on internet but there is none. With recent talibanization of our areas cultural activities are badly affected..Now you wont hear dhol, suruna, pokanrai in weddings, neither attan..talibans also eliminated some bad trends like trend of dancing boys (orrki) in weddings. But now doing attan is considered "halkay/kacha"..in villages there used to be riwaj of chowk where young boys used to do attan at mazdigar...chowk trend is now disappearing...Among all tribes in settled areas of KP, only marwats, bhittanis and khattaks have tradition of attan..If situation remain as such than within few decades attan may vanish from our area.

[Michin Khel]

I don't know how Pashtuns are in Pakistan but in Khostn if the girl was 10 or 11 she was not allowed to go outside on her own, she must stay at home like for ever only on eids she went to relatives whith her mother. So going to school or just walk to a shop on your own is not possibel. This I find so hard, this was the first reason that I thanked Allah for me making me a boy and not a girl. My parents said to me its becuase outside is not safe for girls if they are alone thats way they must stay the rest of there life in a house. I didn't understand that really at that time but I do understand it know, buts still I find it really hard to stay all the time at home and cleaning and washing, and not to forget in rurral ereas you don't have tv that you can watch, or elektric washingmashine that can easy your live, so you have to do everything whith your own hands.

I cant speak on behalf of all pashtuns of pakistan but situation in our area (lakki marwat) is same. Girls have freedom when they have not hit puberty .When they are close to puberty (10 or 11), they come under pardah, are restricted to home and have to wear burqa when outside. The shuttlecok burqa in our area resemble like burqa of your khost....After this when she has to go to another house e.g of relatives then she has to accompany a male member of family...in the home they have to do house chores and like you said there is nothing in villages for time pass.
There is another cruel fact, in our villages there is electricity and some have TVs in their homes but females are not allowed to watch TV. TV are placed in male portion of house, baitak, hujra but females are strictly prohibited from watching any thing.
The only thing women in our area do for time pass is "talking". Pa kato nastay wi auo tola wraz noru wal ghibatuna kai..,
When they become old, they stop wearing burqa.

[Khostai]

^Yes I recognize that too that women only talk and when they become old they don't wear burqa. But I heard from my cousins in Khost that close to centrum the peopel including women do watch tv now, only in remote areas of Khost is steel the same as you mentioned and as I remember it.

[IamDZJ]

but what I have noticed is that in rural areas when a girl or woman is given the freedom to leave the house on her own, she almost always misusess that privilege. And then the thing is, do you really want your daughter it sister leaving the house alone in a society where women are taunted for walking down the street?.

[Prince_Pukhtun]

there is absolutely no strange custom in my family

we think practically

some of these sound so prehistoric

[Amir al Ghaznavi]

Zazai was the brother of Turi. Mangal is the rival of both zazai and turi. Mangal is either the cousin or second cousin.
Paktia is beautiful, the landscape is similar to waziristan and kuram.
do you have any video of katawaz atan marwat style.

Arent Zazais clickin up with Mangals to bang on Turis in Kurram?

[Michin Khel]

but what I have noticed is that in rural areas when a girl or woman is given the freedom to leave the house on her own, she almost always misusess that privilege. And then the thing is, do you really want your daughter it sister leaving the house alone in a society where women are taunted for walking down the street?.

These restrictions are norms of our society, so i have no problems with it.
But i have problem with TV part or prevention from getting education. Like i said in some other post that huge gap has been created between boys and girls..boys are getting educated, are sharp...girls are illiterate...this imbalance also come in marraige when educated kiliwal marry illterate kiliwala...atleast girls should be educated upto matric level...

[Khostai]

but what I have noticed is that in rural areas when a girl or woman is given the freedom to leave the house on her own, she almost always misusess that privilege. And then the thing is, do you really want your daughter it sister leaving the house alone in a society where women are taunted for walking down the street?.

What do you mean by misusess that privalage? Going to school or work is univerasl law to all human beings even in the Quran is it said that both men and women are allowed to work. My sisters are living here and going on there own to school or to a shop if my mother needs something, they are wel behaved and didn't do anything that would make us feel ashame, our society needs to change, we can't live like this anymore, we have to progress.

[Michin Khel]

there is absolutely no strange custom in my family

we think practically

some of these sound so prehistoric

Exceptions are always there.
Also You are not part of a pashtun society and you visit your kalay from ireland as a melma (guest), so naturally your knowledge would be superficial.
By the way you are doing good job in teaching pashtun nationalism to your cousins. You remind me of a boy from UK whose family came to their kalay for visit. The 14 or 15 year old boy was wearing pant shirts and his dress and way of talking was source of amusement for our young kiliwals...unlike you, his pashto was not that perfect and was using lot of english words. I was young, i dont remember what he was exactly saying but i think it was about pashtun politics...the lofar kiliwals were smiling at him and one of them said "ya sarray basta ka dora dair wazhaghi dale kho pa yo taki de naslo pohay"...the interesting thing was that the boy was very beautiful, clean and was source of attention. Then his elder cousin came and carried him away to house as these two three kiliwals were not of good reputation.

[Prince_Pukhtun]

Exceptions are always there.
Also You are not part of a pashtun society and you visit your kalay from ireland as a melma (guest), so naturally your knowledge would be superficial.
By the way you are doing good job in teaching pashtun nationalism to your cousins. You remind me of a boy from UK whose family came to their kalay for visit. The 14 or 15 year old boy was wearing pant shirts and his dress and way of talking was source of amusement for our young kiliwals...unlike you, his pashto was not that perfect and was using lot of english words. I was young, i dont remember what he was exactly saying but i think it was about pashtun politics...the lofar kiliwals were smiling at him and one of them said "ya sarray basta ka dora dair wazhaghi dale kho pa yo taki de naslo pohay"...the interesting thing was that the boy was very beautiful, clean and was source of attention. Then his elder cousin came and carried him away to house as these two three kiliwals were not of good reputation.

ao i guess da sahi khabara da! but still in general i dont even hear of these types of customs at all. ismailla ke lag lag kegi kho mung altha na uso. pekhawar ke yu. we used to live in swat and even from childhood i really cant remember any stuff like this. yeah your right i dont know i get very disheartened. whenever cousins came to visit in pak they were all wearing jeans and i was wearing partug kameez lol and everybody was astonished but im glad in a sense that they are impressionable and listen to the good things i say about their heritage. even my facebook is full of this type of stuff. its a small minority but those who listen will hopefully spread it to others. cannot see our customs and culture die. a huge fear of mine


lol poor kid

[Michin Khel]

ao i guess da sahi khabara da! but still in general i dont even hear of these types of customs at all. ismailla ke lag lag kegi kho mung altha na uso. pekhawar ke yu. we used to live in swat and even from childhood i really cant remember any stuff like this. yeah your right i dont know i get very disheartened. whenever cousins came to visit in pak they were all wearing jeans and i was wearing partug kameez lol and everybody was astonished but im glad in a sense that they are impressionable and listen to the good things i say about their heritage. even my facebook is full of this type of stuff. its a small minority but those who listen will hopefully spread it to others. cannot see our customs and culture die. a huge fear of mine


lol poor kid

So your family lives in peshawer, it make sense now. Peshawer is a city and it doesnt have these "strange" customs which we are here talking about in this thread. I also live in peshawer and i can understand position of your cousins...you are doing a good job in educating your cousins about pashtun identity and refraining them to mock afghans...Before joining pashtun forums i used to call afghans as "maajar", on these forums i have learnt that it is very offensive term for our afghan brothers , so now not only i avoid using it but i tell it to others to stop calling bar pashtuns as maajars.

[emkhan]

These restrictions are norms of our society, so i have no problems with it.
But i have problem with TV part or prevention from getting education. Like i said in some other post that huge gap has been created between boys and girls..boys are getting educated, are sharp...girls are illiterate...this imbalance also come in marraige when educated kiliwal marry illterate kiliwala...atleast girls should be educated upto matric level...

Mr. living in the old days, Gone are the days when girls used to be illiterate. Now the world is changing with a speed. You better worry about other things penetrating in our society fast and massively. This is something to be worried about.

[Michin Khel]

Mr. living in the old days, Gone are the days when girls used to be illiterate. Now the world is changing with a speed. You better worry about other things penetrating in our society fast and massively. This is something to be worried about.

Advanced areas like swat and karak are exceptions, i was talking about general rural pashtun areas like that of FATA ,south KPK.