Pashtun Manners

[Michin Khel]

You never let your guests leave without them drinking chai... Even if that chai takes it's sweet time getting to them lol.

only tea? That is disappointing amount of "sut"

[Michin Khel]

a guy could be friend with another guy for decades and still not know how many sisters he has...

it is a unwritten law not to speak or enquire about the women of the house... i.e. mother, sister, daughter, wife.

Actually in all posts to this thread, only feroza has mentioned genuine pashtun manner which is specific to us.

[Roshina]

Actually in all posts to this thread, only feroza has mentioned genuine pashtun manner which is specific to us.

That's not specific to Pashtuns at all. It's a prominent feature of Middle Eastern societies as well. A man considers it an insult, an attack on his honor, for example, if another male (be it his best, best friend of decades) asks him how his wife/daughter/sister is doing let alone ask about her name! And so, they ask, "How's your house?" which means, "How is your wife?" And then the kids are mentioned and elders and others and so on. And, no, that didn't come with Islam; that custom was there even before Islam.

So, yeah, we need to admit that not everything that Pukhtuns practice and believe is unique only to us. :| We share many of our practices with Persians, Indians/Hindus, Middle Easterners, (other) Central Asians, and other tribal societies, such as those of North Africa (e.g., Morocco). The notion of honor isn't unique to Pukhtuns, either, particularly the idea that the woman is the sole carrier or representative of her husband's/family's honor/ghairat. This is a feature of not just all tribal societies but is prevalent throughout the Mid East and Central Asia as well.

[Michin Khel]

^sorry i have not seen such charactristic in punjabis, sindhis, mohajirs and indians

[Roshina]

Hmm... I didn't know Pukhtuns, Sindhis, Punjabis, Indians, and Mohajirs were the only groups of people in the entire world ... and that if something was unique to Pukhtuns, it's only because it's not a trait of Sindhis, Punjabis, Indians, and Mohajirs :| Could it get any shallower than that? Impossible. ~sighs~ Neither did I know that Sindhis, Punjabis, Indians, Mohajirs, and Punjabis were Middle Easterners / Central Asians.

[Wrayun]

That's not specific to Pashtuns at all. It's a prominent feature of Middle Eastern societies as well. A man considers it an insult, an attack on his honor, for example, if another male (be it his best, best friend of decades) asks him how his wife/daughter/sister is doing let alone ask about her name! And so, they ask, "How's your house?" which means, "How is your wife?" And then the kids are mentioned and elders and others and so on. And, no, that didn't come with Islam; that custom was there even before Islam.

Speaking of which, never use the word "habibi" for the opposite sex, not even a 3 year old. It is considered "offensive".

[Pakhtunzai]

^ respect of elders and other manners mentioned above are present in every eastren societies, not only pashtuns. If west has materialism then we have mannerism.

True say, respect does exist in eastern societies but you see people of nowadays respect is almost 0. From what I've observed I've seen the most respect from pakhtuns so far here.

[IamDZJ]

when an elder walks in to a group or room, you stand up to greet them.

[tor_khan]

There are Pashtoons of a certain generation who never use their Spouse's name.

[Shehbaz Khan]

Avoid Cell phone

[Blue Flower]

Our Important Values!

1. Never laugh in public, instead give a normal smile.
2. Never point your fingers on anyone while talking.
3. Never express your wealthyness to anyone.
4. Protect your land, women and gold.
5. Avoid looking in the eyes or faces of girls too much you interact with.
6. Never forget a friend whom helped you before and never ask him for more.
7. Never make a host serve u too much, take whatever he offers you.

[یاسمینه]

I've experienced a lot of good things from Pashtuns but one thing made a very particular impression on me. Willingness to help me in seemingly ordinary situations in which no one else thought to ask if I needed such help.
It happened few times, but one situations was very special.
One year ago I had problem with vocal cords lasting over a month. One day my Pashto teacher, Pashtun concerned about my health asked me: Maybe you are sick for so long, because you don't have money for medication? He wanted to give me money for the treatment and I remember his hand taking the wallet out of pocket. It was so natural to him... I know that there was no other intentions but the willingness to help me. And it really touched me deeply.
Even last Monday a new Pashto native speaker, in a very similar situation offered me his help me and wanted to give me medication sent from Afghanistan...