Pashtun Manners

[Shehbaz Khan]

A tip for today's youth :D

Never pick up your phone or reply to any text message of your friends infront of your elders infact if possible keep you mobile on silent mode :D

[IamDZJ]

^ Dont set muni badnam hui as ur ring tone

[Nokia_Apridy]

A tip for today's youth :D

Never pick up your phone or reply to any text message of your friends infront of your elders infact if possible keep you mobile on silent mode :D

da 2 kalo..na zma da Mobile Ring of da pa Vibrate ...ao sms khu dasey

kwam chay sok pohgey hem na WALLAH ...pa pato stargo...

[tor_khan]

A character trait that I consider to be a form of manners is patience and managing to say what you need to say without always needing to undermine someone else. It's a skill. It's not a uniquely Pashtoon character, but it is especially a drund Pashtoon character.

To be a drund Pashtoon is therefore the ultimate in good manners, I think.

[Shayesta]

Never, never ask a man for help in a household job and never, never compare women with men; Not even when it makes sense, or using Islam into this. Never.

[Mayana]

^ Dont set muni badnam hui as ur ring tone

What Tor Khan said is very important and a key social skill, not only as a Pashtun but as a human being. Getting points across tactfully is absolutely crucial.

When it comes to talking to elders, don't jump into conversations elders are having unless you are particularly addresses. And if you do take part in such a conversation and some elder person is talking utter rubbish, try and bring across your point politely, s/he will disagree, you can politely refute their argument. But, LEAVE IT AT THAT. Don't do Sarzori, do not be stubborn. Don't go all "naaaah-uuuh milk IS white! Whatcu talkin' bout foo!" Yes, it's white and the people that are present are aware that it's white but naqi zaan da Masharano sara ma achawa lol It'll just make you look rude =/ Just politely agree, "Oh sha, waneka, napohejham.."

[Shayesta]

^ In fact, even if a elder involves you in a conversation, they just do it for the sake of it. They don't actually want you to get involved into it. :/

[Mayana]

^ In fact, even if a elder involves you in a conversation, they just do it for the sake of it. They don't actually want you to get involved into it. :/

Yes, that's true. Just agree with them and continue smiling lol No point in arguing, really.

Many conversations, unfortunately, consist of the eldest rambling and the younger ones politely agreeing anyways. =D

[IamDZJ]

my relatives and most of afghans think i am a very quite person. which is not true because in my mind i am pouring acid over their heads every time they say something stupid and unreasonable which is %95 of the time... the minute i take them seriously or engage in a conversation with them i make them shiver..which is not a good thing because it leaves one very frustrated with zero amount of patience. so next time you see an idiot, tell them they are an idiot and get it over with right there.

[Nokia_Apridy]

bal......

[Sitaara]

I can empathize with what pashtun girls have to go through. The boys have it much easier in that aspect. The girls have to fake half of their emotions all the time.

some points I notice about pakhtun manners:

- Don't turn your back to elders, I mean literally

- Don't spread your feet or lie down when elders are present.

- Fill the chai cup constantly even if the guests have drunk a galon of chai

there are many more but most of them are already listed.

Not all the time but sometimes yeah!

Never, never ask a man for help in a household job and never, never compare women with men; Not even when it makes sense, or using Islam into this. Never.

there are some men who will never get up to help even if there is so much work on the woman. i hate when man thinks its the woman job to do it and not even say thank you .

my relatives and most of afghans think i am a very quite person. which is not true because in my mind i am pouring acid over their heads every time they say something stupid and unreasonable which is %95 of the time... the minute i take them seriously or engage in a conversation with them i make them shiver..which is not a good thing because it leaves one very frustrated with zero amount of patience. so next time you see an idiot, tell them they are an idiot and get it over with right there.

[Azad Khel]

Pukhtoon manners are the same, some people specially those grown up in a different culture, feel it differently.
This strict discipline governed in the pukhtoon society and family makes us different from other people and societies.

Always we are proud of being a pukhtoon. All these elements make us different from other societies. This goodness is the combination of all these things which some of us criticize sometimes.

[Roshina]

*I had a dream last night in which I was recounting all the customs of Pukhtuns, and now I don't remember any of them. Life.*

~ Girls are to cover their hair in front of their fathers and other male elders no matter what. It's a sign of respect for them, and they feel extremely disrespected if you don't do it.

~ You don't talk the same way to your mother and father: You're to talk softly and in a very low tone with/to your father, whereas you can talk however you want with/to your mother (but not disrespectfully still, of course). It took me a long, long time to realize that I was one person with my mother (like my complete self) but an entirely new, different person with my father -- and it took me even longer to understand why that was. I've only now come to good terms with myself regarding it, have come to love this trait of mine.

~ As others have said, never, ever, EVER take no for an answer from guests or anyone else to whom you offer something, be it a gift. They're supposed to reject your offer, and you're supposed to keep on insisting. It's quite entertaining watching this happen. When I'm with this family we're very close to, though, I don't do this whole insistence stuff, and many a times, I've said, "Fine. Don't take it then. Hmph." But we're cool with the family, so it wasn't a problem. For other people, that would have been extremely rude and un-Pukhtun of me.

[Pakhtunzai]

From what I've observed of my family.

Treating the guests with love and honour, bring out food and drinks whether the guests want it or not(they end up having the food and drink anyway even if they dont want it )

Looking after elders and respecting elders as well as caring for entire family.

Last summer me my dad, 2 cousins and mama went Pakistan. We were invited to an uncles house, he bought fish because he knew how much me and my cousin love it. So they fried it and he said it was salmon. My cousins were like nooo its not salmon even I was making a face lol. Then they almost got into argument with my uncle. Then my dad and mama shut them up they said its salmon carry on eating LOL. It was clearly not salmon as it was all white. From that moment on I realised no matter what respect is FIRST even if they are wrong. As my uncle took the liberty to invite us and feed us at his house.

[Michin Khel]

^ respect of elders and other manners mentioned above are present in every eastren societies, not only pashtuns. If west has materialism then we have mannerism.