Divorce among Pashtuns

[Shamaar]

Okay, so in my lifetime I've known two Pashtun couples who ended up getting a divorce. Most Pashtuns I know tell me divorces are a rare phenomenon in our culture, but I think no nation is truly immune to these things.

I mean some of us live in countries where 50% of all marriages end in divorce. And when people move to these countries, they do so because they see short-term benefits (e.g. people who lived a tough existence back home might find the opportunities to earn a better living here very attractive). However, the long-term changes that affect them and their future generations in these new countries are difficult to for see.

What I mean is, eventually people do conform to the countries they live in. Some might argue that is not the case for everyone, but eventually mentalities do change.

I'd like to know how many divorces you guys have seen among Pashtuns. They can be in any country, and any circumstances. If you do not feel comfortable talking about why the couple got a divorce that is fine. Both of the couples I mentioned are now happily remarried to other people, so if anyone is curious, I don't mind sharing the gist of the circumstances surrounding their separations.

[eyeliner]

Hmm....i have witnessed quite a sizeable number of divorces and seperations. I have friends whose sisters and brothers are divorced or are seperate. I have one really close friend whose sister has a kid and she's seperated with her husband, but she is still in a relationship with someone else. Sorry but my experience of this had led me to believe that people depict marriage as a temporary thing

[Feroza_Banu]

Divorce in Afghanistan or Divorce in western countries?

You have to make this clear becase as far as divorce in Afghanistan is concerned... its a taboo... it happens 1 in thousands of families or may be 10 thousand families... even in this 21st century it is considered a sign of "beghairati" , "benangi" and "benamoosi" lol...

a divorced woman is looked down upon, and a divorced man is considered benamoos...

I have not seen any divorces in Afghanistan, all my life!

But as far as Pashtoons living in western world... yeah i have a seen quite a bit of divorces and separations.

[eyeliner]

^ feroza khor...she is referring to divorce in western countries

[Shamaar]

Yeah, definitely divorces among Pashtuns in Western countries.

And Feroza, you're going to give me a glitter seizure lol.

[Feroza_Banu]

^u don't like it

[Michin Khel]

Who cares about life style of pashtuns in the west?. They are influenced from westren culture, so it would be better if they dont represent us.

[unknownprince]

there is a very small pashtun community back in my home state. (Id say about 30 families or less), and I have heard of no divorce.

[unknownprince]

Who cares about life style of pashtuns in the west?. They are influenced from westren culture, so it would be better if they dont represent us.

this is not true

I don't see a future for myself in Western countries.

[Shamaar]

^u don't like it

I love it, but it just makes my eyes go crazy.

[Shamaar]

Who cares about life style of pashtuns in the west?. They are influenced from westren culture, so it would be better if they dont represent us.

I don't know buddy. There are way more educated Pashtuns outside of the homeland than there are inside it. I think the Pashtun diaspora is going to have a very, very important role to play in the future of the Pashtuns. And they are going to bring back certain characteristics that they have acquired living elsewhere.

[Zayam]

I do not know if I have a right to comment, since I was not born a Pashtun. I find it very sad that so many marriages end in divorce in the West. My own parents got married when they were just 18 and 19. They are each other' s best friend and always have been. We, their children are all grown, and not one of us has had the blessing in marriage that our parents have. I grew up believing that one stayed with a partner/spouse "til' death do us part", BUT before I converted (reverted) to Islam in spite of my wonderful role models, was divorced twice. If I could go back and live my life again I would do things very differently, but perhaps I would just make other mistakes?

[pukhtana]

Divorce even in the west is unheard of when it comes to Pashtuns.

[Michin Khel]

@shamaar
Dating, mixed marraiges, girls wearing jeans and skirts etc...cant be labelled as pashtun way of life. You should only inquire about mainland pashtuns. and I am waiting for intellegent/educated afghans in the west to return to brain-drain afghanistan...

[Fahd]

Divorce !!!
pashtun parents should never deciad the gir l u must marry her
they can give u advice but they should never make u marry someone u don't like him or like her
the big prob is the girl who get hurt from this things not the man and if he don't divorce her she will be sad all the time and he gona marry another girl
another thing pashtuns did and doing wrong things when they marry they son's and they are only 9-18 !!!
that's the big mistake :P
and if they son said he gona divorce her they gona tell him beghirata and alot of bad things !!
then why the hell u ppl deciad it when he was young boy