Bride Price among Pashtuns, is not what it is assumed

[Nertj]

A lot of Pashtun families now give their daughters to Punjabies in marriage without any hesitation. This was almost unheard of in my fathers generation. It was extremely rare, now no one even bats an eyelid. For Punjabies and Muhajirs of course they have hit the jackpot as every one of their future generations can now claim to be Pathan or Afghan. Also another plus point is that they can also slowly now change their complexion through this practice. As far fetched as it may sound, it's becoming more and more common.

Pakistan Pashtuns will go extinct, or at least huge differences will arise between Pashtuns of Afghanistan and Pakistan with Pakistan ones looking more and more Indian/Australoid (Australoid is a race, dont get offended).

[Elite Pakhtun]

Inter-ethnic marriages happen in places where there are many ethnic groups living together. This happens all over the World. It is natural.
Shamlawar is Netherlandian whose parents come from the Kabul culture.

City people and Rural people have different cultures values whether they are Pashtun or Tajik. Rural Pashtuns are closer to rural Tajiks culturally than city pashtuns are and city Pashtuns are closer to city Tajiks culturally. City people whether Pashtun or Tajik look down on rural people whether Pashtun or Tajik as uneducated, primitive etc.

I guess it's hard to come to conclusions because it is subjective. It's definitely in cities though, particularly ones that are cosmopolitan. I can't really compare how it is vs Afghanistan because we're just using words like "kinda common". Unless someone does a study on this, or someone spends time in both places, we may never know if it's uncommon or common.

That said... even in cities, many are endogomous. Generally in my experience, Pakistanis love to make racist jokes, but are not necessarily racist in matters like this. In the end it's up to the person.

[Charsi Malang]

Lala, sta somra mooda shiwi da che Pukhtunkhwa ta tale ye? In most of your posts you are being negative and acting like Pakistani Pashtuns have completely forgot tneir culture. I was in Pakistan recently and the Pashtuns there are extremely proud of their culture. Every Pashtun I met spoke Pashto with pride and they would all speak it with their kids, this was true even for the ones married to Punjabis. All of my cousins who grew up in Islamabad, a non-Pashtun city, still spoke Pashto as their first language. And while Desi and western culture have creeped in among the educated classes due to the influence of media, people still uphold their cultural traditions to the best of their ability. And btw, those influences are also reaching Afghanistan, many Afghans know Urdu and watch Bollywood films. And people who live in a more traditional manner are certainly not viewed as badmaashan.

Graana zuh terr kaal laar wam. Kho oore na khalaq ma porre tsee rasee. I've seen the changes over the past 30 years. I remember when I was a child and I used to go there. I remember what people were like, what the tribal areas were like, how people dressed, spoke, how they acted so on and so forth. So it's very disheartening for me because myself and my cousins and Pashtuns of my generation still remember to some extent what our people used to be like. Believe me wrora it's very different now. The entire feel is different, and not everyone realizes this but people of the the generation above mine.

[khushal]

Lala, sta somra mooda shiwi da che Pukhtunkhwa ta tale ye? In most of your posts you are being negative and acting like Pakistani Pashtuns have completely forgot tneir culture. I was in Pakistan recently and the Pashtuns there are extremely proud of their culture. Every Pashtun I met spoke Pashto with pride and they would all speak it with their kids, this was true even for the ones married to Punjabis. All of my cousins who grew up in Islamabad, a non-Pashtun city, still spoke Pashto as their first language. And while Desi and western culture have creeped in among the educated classes due to the influence of media, people still uphold their cultural traditions to the best of their ability. And btw, those influences are also reaching Afghanistan, many Afghans know Urdu and watch Bollywood films. And people who live in a more traditional manner are certainly not viewed as badmaashan.

Afghans don't know Urdu. What are you talking about.
The reason that Afghans are not as brainwashed as you guys is because Afghan media is not as developed as yours is. The majority of Afghans still have no electricity let alone TV's.

[Kakar-Wardak]

Pashtuns in pak are still overwhelmingly a rural people, cencus shows Peshawar has a population of only 2m, Karachi has 6 million pashtuns outside of these two cities vast majority of pashtuns still live in villages.

That's not discounting all the indics of live in Peshawar, remember only a century ago Peshawar was Hindko majority.

[Samandri]

I don't think it's just urban areas. I was in Pakistan 1-2 months ago and our driver(who is a Pashtun from Swabi) was telling us how he had to give jahez for his daughter's wedding. I was surprised as I though this practice didn't exist among Pashtuns but was told that in recent years Pashtuns have begun to practice this. Our driver is a poor man who lives in a village and I wouldn't classify him as "urban."

You should have inquired from him if groom family was 'demanding' jehaiz or he was just buying gifts for his daughter on his own?

[Samandri]

A lot of Pashtun families now give their daughters to Punjabies in marriage without any hesitation. .

May be in UK, but not here in Pakhtunkhwa. A Pashtun i.e the one of hasb o nasb do not give his daughter to a Punjabi or any other Indic. His preference is a Pashtun for his daughter........Pashtuns look down upon Punjabis. They may marry a Punjabi girl but even the son of that couple is often undermined as "da Punjabai zoy". Its to be noted that i am here talking about Pashtun society, not Lahori, Islamabadi or UK society.

The people of lower social standing in Pashtun society (i.e Awan, Gujjar, artisans, daman etc) introduce themselves as Pashtuns to Punjabis and they are identified as such (as they speak Pashto), they are the ones who do marry with Punjabis without hesitation. They are actually able to marry off their daughter to a Punjabi of good social standing.

[Charsi Malang]

May be in UK, but not here in Pakhtunkhwa. A Pashtun i.e the one of hasb o nasb do not give his daughter to a Punjabi or any other Indic. His preference is a Pashtun for his daughter........Pashtuns look down upon Punjabis. They may marry a Punjabi girl but even the son of that couple is often undermined as "da Punjabai zoy". Its to be noted that i am here talking about Pashtun society, not Lahori, Islamabadi or UK society.

The people of lower social standing in Pashtun society (i.e Awan, Gujjar, artisans, daman etc) introduce themselves as Pashtuns to Punjabis and they are identified as such (as they speak Pashto), they are the ones who do marry with Punjabis without hesitation. They are actually able to marry off their daughter to a Punjabi of good social standing.

I'm actually talking about Pakhtunkhwa, it's more common than you would think, especially amongst the more educated ones and ones serving in the army.

[Nertj]

they are hurting their future for short term gains. Indics as a whole have less attractive facial features. with the race mixing, your genepool becomes overall less attractive.

[Friends of Baloch]

Marrying a Punjabi sounds like a guaranteed way to ruin your life and your future descendants.

[Traveller]

You should have inquired from him if groom family was 'demanding' jehaiz or he was just buying gifts for his daughter on his own?

I think he was just buying gifts for his daughter but that's still a change from the past when the groom's family would buy the bride everything she needed.

[khushal]

I think he was just buying gifts for his daughter but that's still a change from the past when the groom's family would buy the bride everything she needed.

Brides family giving gift to their daughter is not a new thing. That has always been a custom, its just that the baighyrat dont do it. Youre making stuff up and assuming things when you should be investigating why people are doing what they are doing.

[Samandri]

I'm actually talking about Pakhtunkhwa, it's more common than you would think, especially amongst the more educated ones and ones serving in the army.

May be things are different in Kohat city but i cant ignore the fact that Hindkowans of Kohat city introduce themselves as Khattaks, Bangashs and Afridis.

[Kakar-Wardak]

May be things are different in Kohat city but i cant ignore the fact that Hindkowans of Kohat city introduce themselves as Khattaks, Bangashs and Afridis.

This is disturbing to hear, how can we sus them out, is there any clear giveaway that these guys are hindicks, I mean with the punjabies it's easy to tell you will meet many so called lodhis, durrani and whatnot in punjab, but once they open their mouth the disgusting sound of punjabi fills the air giving away their true identity as punjabies.

[toughpashtun]

This is disturbing to hear, how can we sus them out, is there any clear giveaway that these guys are hindicks, I mean with the punjabies it's easy to tell you will meet many so called lodhis, durrani and whatnot in punjab, but once they open their mouth the disgusting sound of punjabi fills the air giving away their true identity as punjabies.

The Lodhis and Durranis that you see in Punjab may very well belong to these tribes due to paternal lineage but intermarrying with and living amongst local Punjabis contributed to them not retaining their culture,language.Punjab was once part of Ahmad Shah Abdali's empire and probably other Afghan/Central Asian rulers have also held it so these Durranis may have migrated back then.