Marrying a Divorced Man/Woman

[Random visitor]

No, human nature is intrinsically aggressive; I guess the best way to undo the the constructs of civilization is to undo civilization itself because everything that humans conceive of as the measure of equity is paradoxically also the mechanism that fosters inequity. The roots of chauvanism in Evolution had to do with simple biology and division of labor between genders.

by the way women are not equal to men; and it is probably not beneficial to treat women equal to men, male-female equality is never good for society; but similarly the negative consequences or gross injustices like what happens in pakistan or saudi arabia, where women have practically no say over their destiny or Europe where women are dysfunctionally self destructive should probably be curtailed.

Women are dysfunctionally self destructive? Do you mean women like myself, who are intent on transforming the existing patriarchial societies into matriarchial societies? I think you will find that the tide has turned and cannot be stopped. We no longer need men for protection and support, we have proven that we are quite capable of looking after ourselves and this awakening of the female power has enabled us to cut the shackles that used to bind us. Of course, this does not mean that we do not allow men into our lives, it is just that the balance of power has shifted and relationships will increasingly be on the woman's terms. Nor does this mean that a woman will ever lose the capacity to love a man, the difference is that their relationship will be as equal partners.

[ScimitarXEdge]

well that won't happen unless you have patriarchal approval; no women's movement in any society has succeeded without a patriarchal forbearer to ratify it and protect it. But instead of male protection directly it's been co-opted by the institutions established by men i.e. Laws, Government, Police etc.

There isn't a balance of power shift its just erratic and irrational behavior has become sanctioned under a delusion of liberty. Relationships wont be on anyone's terms; just irrational impulse without any merit. Hence why the European model of womanhood is really a form of misogyny and dysfunctionalyl; women like yourself accept self destructive for the sake of some irrational inecurity in regards to power; which is manufactured by the artificial society created by institutions. You think you're free but you're more enslaved than you realize

[faye]

ho....hummmmmmm........heard it all before. wake me when you have something original to say, scimi;->

[ScimitarXEdge]

ho....hummmmmmm........heard it all before. wake me when you have something original to say, scimi;->

truth does not depend on how impressing peoples sense of personal entertainment Faye.

[Shayesta]

Control the language gents, plus your frustration if you can.

[faye]

truth does not depend on how impressing peoples sense of personal entertainment faye.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz

[laevanay]

People are not products , Marriege is a respectful action in Islam, trying is a "sin" , none of the prophets we know said you can try before you get married .

But YOUR Holy Prophet(PBUH) married a divorcee and yet we are debating if a divorced woman should be married or not? Or do you simply want to pick and choose what part of his life you want to accept and what not?

[laevanay]

It is all about the 'heart'...

I see Afghan immigrants as the worst when it comes to having relationships. But these white people...say what you want of their manner of dress and their life style, but at the very least, the majority have the ability to be in a relationship and even the desire to be in one, when it is not even made compulsory on them. More of the so called 'secularists' are willing to be in a monogomous relationship, or even an open relationship of some sort with honesty at the core ...but just 20 minutes ago on Afghan satellite television, an afghan woman was telling the host of a television program how she was married to a man 40 years her elder at the tender age of 15! And she wasn't even the first, or the second, or the third, but the fourth wife. And he had come for her hand from Germany..and he had children from his previous wives...and he had wives even after. At the age of 70 he married another girl of 14. So really, it is ignorance that drives people to follow their own whims and do as they please. It isn't so much the age difference, but the deceit and lies he told to get what he wanted. At least with these westerners...they know what they are getting into, both sides.

If you want to go to the ideal model of Islam, divorce is not a stigma. A woman has the right to divorce her husband if he doesn't fulfil her needs. Khadija he wife of the holy prophet peace be upon him, was widowed twice, and his other subsequent wives were divorcees and widows as well. And it was common for the heirs of deen to divorce their women if they were not pleased with them. Recognizing this aspect of marriage will be what will empower women. By making divorce a stigma, women become powerless and religion fatalistic. Marriage is a social contract, and like any other contract it should be respected and treated seriously. But the simple minded people of our communities, especially muslims now, treat it as a formality and feel more bound by social perceptions. People spend more time assessing the house and the car that they would buy, then the spouse that they would choose to live with. If the same level of scrutiny and analysis was given by the parties involved, there would hardly be any divorces....but most treat marriage as a given...that merely binding a man and a woman, their fates will be intertwined miraculously. At least the secularists understand that marriage is a commitment that asks for a great deal of them... but not the simple folks who think that a sufi's blessing is all that is needed.

I guess we become Pakhtun when tradition suits us, and muslims when religion suits us... sometimes we can be both, but most of the time it becomes a choice.... besides how a woman gets married(which is a matter for great concern) another debatable practice would be of women right towards inheritance.

[laevanay]

The prophet pbuh slept with widows an then decided which one of them he wanted to marry? Which idiot were you born to??

Moulvi Sahib, stop polluting my words with your filth.... Answer this question if you are in any way a man(which we both know you are not)

Why select what one aspect of the Holy Prophet's (PBUH) life example and deny another? Holy Prophet(PBUH) married a divorcee, why is a question of your ghairath to marry one?

I just remembered why I left this useless forum!!!!

To answer your question which idiot I was born to, you have to ask your mother... she would know....

[IamDZJ]

are you implying that I be ashamed of myself for not being a man??? You have progressed enough to deny God but not enough to understand that being a woman is not somethig someone should be ashamed for. And then you come ip to me and teach me of double standards??
The random bimbo suggested we pashtanas commit to adulty (have sex with men) before we marry them to which everyone came up with their own reasons of objection. I don't see how we are ignoring our prophets teachings for not agreeing with her. Instead of acting like a crybaby, go find your brain and or ghairat.

[emkhan]

Those who do not have respect for the Prophets and their families are better ignored.
zalimaan di taubah

[laevanay]

Those who do not have respect for the Prophets and their families are better ignored.
zalimaan di taubah

The disrespect to our Prophets(PBUT) is that they all favored and said there is nothing wrong with marrying divorcees... yet we don't accept that and look down upon them, I guess losers think they are better than the Holy Prophets(PBUT). We Pakhtuns would rather kill them than divorce them... I guess that is your Islam right? Or that is not a disrespect to your Prophet(PBUH).....

[laevanay]

are you implying that I be ashamed of myself for not being a man??? You have progressed enough to deny God but not enough to understand that being a woman is not somethig someone should be ashamed for. And then you come ip to me and teach me of double standards??
The random bimbo suggested we pashtanas commit to adulty (have sex with men) before we marry them to which everyone came up with their own reasons of objection. I don't see how we are ignoring our prophets teachings for not agreeing with her. Instead of acting like a crybaby, go find your brain and or ghairat.

You are so full of it that now I know where the global supply goes to. Where have I supported her statement? Munafiq I am telling you that if your Prophet (PBUH) did not look down upon widows and divorcees, why mr.Pakhtun are you? Are you better then them(PBUT)? did you ask your mother?

[Random visitor]

well that won't happen unless you have patriarchal approval; no women's movement in any society has succeeded without a patriarchal forbearer to ratify it and protect it. But instead of male protection directly it's been co-opted by the institutions established by men i.e. Laws, Government, Police etc.

There isn't a balance of power shift its just erratic and irrational behavior has become sanctioned under a delusion of liberty. Relationships wont be on anyone's terms; just irrational impulse without any merit. Hence why the European model of womanhood is really a form of misogyny and dysfunctionalyl; women like yourself accept self destructive for the sake of some irrational inecurity in regards to power; which is manufactured by the artificial society created by institutions. You think you're free but you're more enslaved than you realize

Patriarchial approval? This harks back to the womens' suffragette movement 100 years ago when western women were still under total control being passed from father to husband like chattel, though those brave women took to the streets regardless of whether they had 'patriarchial approval' from their husbands.

Perhaps you would like to elaborate on whose patriarchial approval I need to obtain? Where is my enslavement? My job? I agree it is a bit of a drag at times, but my salary is well above the male average income, so I am not complaining. Or maybe the bank? You could argue that I am enslaved to the bank like everybody who has a mortgage. I don't have just one mortgage but several and I agree that my annual interest bill is huge, but much of it is paid for by the tenants who are renting my investment properties. Then there is the international economy which has sent my share investments on a rather bumpy road. Of course it is sad to see the market value of my shares diminish, but it also provides an excellent opportunity to buy. Oh, the yoke of slavery is hard to bear.

I used to have a sign on my desk that said: 'There are three kinds of people, those that make things happen, those watch things happen and those that don't know what's happening'.

Have a nice day! I have a job to go to.

[MostafaM]

I wouldn´t marry a divorced women.

Not because I am a Super-Pakhtun or an Ultra-Muslim but because divorced women come with a huge baggage and I am not interested in stress, problems of her past, why she divorced bla bla bla.

Others can do, I can´t.

Full stop.