Marrying a Divorced Man/Woman

[star]

Yes, I would re-consider. I wouldn't let one bad experience ruin my chances on love and happiness.
What I meant was that after a divorce, you should really look at your life with open eyes and not get married again for the sake of being married and not labeled as a divorcee.

[Dreamer]

marrying ones brother in law stems from the desire to maintain the widow in the family alongside the kids etc... its a practise amongst jews and muslims

[star]

^ I think that practice is okay as long as her in laws don't FORCE the marriage. If she wants to move back with her family, then she should be allowed to do that.
There are families who force her to become the second wife of her brother in law.
If she can take care of herself or her family is willing to shelter her then there is no problem.
This 'practice' was put into place because in the past when your husband died, you also lost any income coming into the family. This practice helped shelter the widow and her children by remarrying a male member of the family.

[star]

^ lol. You are cute. Too bad back home, some women don't have that option. Sad, but true.

[star]

No.

[Laila]

Hey, the topic is on marrying a divorced man/woman. Just to point that out

[Sheenka]

OMG, divorce is so common in here where im on holidays gosh every man and woman i see they have been divorced, thts ashame

[Feroza_Banu]

my brother in laws are my brothers... i don't understand this custom at all...

as the topic: in farsi/dari there is a saying "zan morda ra zan bete... zan talaaq ra sang bete" ... "give a wife to the man that looses his wife to death, give a stone to the man who divorces his wife"

i am against people marrying their daughter to a man who has divorced his wife... but situations may be different...

[Sheenka]

agree obviously they have problem which end them to divorced, but in some cases the intereferance of family ends them to divorce

[Sheenka]

which brother?

[star]

Taking everything into consideration, I would rather be a divorcee than in a bad marriage.

[Roshina]

I'm in agreement with everyone else here. I'm grateful that we're finally realizing that divorced women (and I'd add widowed women as well) are just as human as everyone else, whether married or unmarried. It must be the result of a good education, although I'd think it'd be natural to view everyone as human regardless of whatever.

I would have absolutely no objections to marrying a divorced (or widowed) man if my parents and I deemed him worthy of me. A man who deserves a good wife would never look at whether she's divorced or not, unless she's just a player and marries every man she comes across and then divorces him for reasons that most people would consider trivial. But that's an unlikely phenomenon amongst Pukhtuns, so I guess we don't have to worry about that right now.

[Pakhtunzai]

I don't know why people make such a big issue of this about divorced people. I consider them normal like any other human being, I've seen many divorces in my time and there were valid reasons. Although they should have been discouraged. If I was to marry a divorced person and she was a good person with decent values then why not. It doesn't make them any less of a person than I am.

1 of my family friends married a bengali woman 5-6 years older than him and shes got a kid too(age 15) and masha allah they are getting on like a house on fire.

[Laila]

Earlier this month i had gone to a party. And the lady who was throwing the party had gotten remarried about a few months ago. Her ex-husband divorced her about 6-10 years ago. During that time, i could have sworn, i never saw her smile. She was a very nice lady but very stiff. But on that night at the party, she was very, very happy.

The men and women were separated by the living rooms. So when her new husband came into the room to tell her something, i saw this smile, a smile that was filled with nothing but a connecting happiness amongst them.

I think divorced people should have a second chance. Unfortunetly, our culture looks down upon second marriages especially with women. But sometimes, you have to be selfish and look at what is best for you, what makes you happy and forward to living, what makes your family happy.

I think it is a sad thought that our people think a women who has already been 'touched' by a man (ex husband) should not remarry. But a man who is divorced, it really doesnt matter much. What a hipocrisy.

[Random visitor]

I know this thread is more than a year old, but I find it very hard to understand the pashtun view on divorce. I know a man who has lived in Australia for several years now, his wife recently pressed charges of domestic violence against him which, if he had been found guilty, would have meant jail. The case was thrown out of court, she immediately put pressure on him to go back to her and he did. What a complete and utter fool!

I have known this man and his wife for a number of years. From what I understand, their marriage has been a marriage in name only for some time now, so her false and frivolous accusation would have been the perfect cause to initite a divorce, except for pashtunwali.


As an independent European woman, I find all of this quite astounding. I have been married twice and divorced twice and I raised my four children as a single mother while working full-time and buying a family home. These days I am enjoying my independence and the freedom of being a woman in a western country.

Another thing, I do not understand the fascination with virginity. I would definitely not recommend to any woman to remain a virgin until marriage. Try before you buy.