Marry a kid?

[AnGaaR]

Salamoona everyone
Most of you guys have noticed that in Afghanistan specially in amongst pashtoons a teen girl aged 14 or less is forced to marry a man of her grand father's age.
a couple of yrs back 12 yrs old girl was married to 57 yrs old man.
in other cities or north these things rarely happen too (between tajiks,uzbek and hazara ).

Is it a good thing? should it be stopped or not?
do you think a 12 yrs old girl is ok for a 55 or 60 yrs old man?
is it in islam or against?
..


Please answer the 2nd question too
The 2nd question is about Dushmani and laters giving away hands of ur sister's daughters to the victim's family.
Many ppl fight and kill eachother, to solve the problems,enemity or to get rid of revange they hand over their family members' (girls) to the victim's family. Is it a good thing? what happens to that girl who goes to the victim's home? will she ever enjoy a second of her life?
wont she face cruelity?
wont she be oppressed
wont she decide to commit suicide (many have done or tried)

[Master Khan]

In Islam you can't force people into marriage, and then forcing a 12 year old kid to marry a old buda is just wrong, may allah help her.
Who every do these horrible and sick acts then Naalat sha pi.

[Michin Khel]

[Michin Khel]

Salamoona everyone
Most of you guys have noticed that in Afghanistan specially in amongst pashtoons a teen girl aged 14 or less is forced to marry a man of her grand father's age.
a couple of yrs back 12 yrs old girl was married to 57 yrs old man.
in other cities or north these things rarely happen too (between tajiks,uzbek and hazara ).

Is it a good thing? should it be stopped or not?
do you think a 12 yrs old girl is ok for a 55 or 60 yrs old man?
is it in islam or against?

Educated and middle class Pashtuns do no marry girls of tender age of 11, 12 ,13 or even 16 years. We can assume that poverty and illiteracy increases the ratio of such marriages as this trend is mostly in FATA and Afghanistan. So this problem can be easily fixed by increasing the literacy rate in pashtuns.
Those Members who live in foriegn, should remember that there is no concept of love marriage in traditional Pashtun society. In most of the marriages that take place in villages, girls have no choice but to agree to marry the man accepted by her parent as her husband. Incidents of love affairs end in tragedies. So usage of word "forced" for marriage of 12 or 13 year old girl only is not appropriate as literally girl of every age are usually forced to accept the decision of their Parents.
I think according to Islam it is ok to marry the girl of 11, 12, 13 and so on if she has hit the puberty. But in this case we should also consider the laws of our country, for example in pakistan marrying a girl below 16 is not allowed and doing sexual intercourse with wife of 13 or below 13 is considered as rape. We should discourage child marriages, but we cant discourage it as a muslim, we have to think it in this case as a human.

Please answer the 2nd question too
The 2nd question is about Dushmani and laters giving away hands of ur sister's daughters to the victim's family.
Many ppl fight and kill eachother, to solve the problems,enemity or to get rid of revange they hand over their family members' (girls) to the victim's family. Is it a good thing? what happens to that girl who goes to the victim's home? will she ever enjoy a second of her life?
wont she face cruelity?
wont she be oppressed
wont she decide to commit suicide (many have done or tried)

It is called as "Badal" and the girl given in badal faces horrible treatment from her in-laws.

[BLS_1919v2.0]

Luffy that is not badal but swara.

[Levanaye Zalmaye]

I'd never want to marry a kid. Your wife is supposed to take care of you and if it's the other way round (that is, that you have to take care of her, get her ready for school everyday, do the semi-heavy lifting yourself, etc) life's gonna suck.

By the way, in places such as Yemen and sub-Saharan Africa, it's not rare for a 12 year old girl to be a mother. It's disgusting.

[Mayana]

Legitimized rape.. legalized slavery.. sanctified physical and emotional abuse.

[Michin Khel]

Luffy that is not badal but swara.

Yes you are right, it is swarra and wani ,while badal means exchange of girls for marraige between two families usually to settle enemity.

[tor_khan]

The truth is that whilst cultures change both at the local level and through education and migration, early marriage has happened in many families. It's not something that I can honestly say is not part of our ancestry. Without those things happening, many of us - me included, would not be here.

A couple of years ago, I read a report by AfghanAid (a charity that I have supported for several years) that was written based on information gathered during the war years of Aghanistan. Life-expectancy of women was about 44, during which time the average female would have been married, had children and her children would have had children too. And this all in abject poverty. It's not really about the luxury of choice and early marriage begins to make sense therefore in a culture like that.

[Pukhtoon007]

Legitimized rape.. legalized slavery.. sanctified physical and emotional abuse.

not to forget legalised PEDOPHILIA

[Pukhtoon007]

i reali dnt care its pedophilia

[DaNangarharZuwan]

^how is it? At least explain your one liner.

[Pukhtoon007]

im not saying anthing about islam stop draging islam into. this type of marriage was all back in the aperentli coz ppl wouldnt live long enough n the fact woman were more or somthing earli. but it doesnt appli now. a 60 yr old having sex with a 9 or 12 year old how the stuff does that sound to u srsli.

[Feroza_Banu]

^lol r u sure?

i am kandahari from my mom's side... my grandmother was 7 years old when she was married to my grand father of age 19.

[AnGaaR]

^ and i know ur grandmother's name :P lol



let me tell u guys a story .. its not a story its reality and kinda new story


It was last year of taliban's government. A man from kabul handed over her daughter aged 18 to and old man who promised the girl's father that his daughter will be married to old man's son who is 25
The girl's father agreed and got some walwar which he needed to feed the rest of his family .

The old man aged about 60 arrives to janda (ghazni) along with the girl.
After a couple of days the wedding ceremony without any music or big party starts and ends just in a couple of hours.
The bride well dressed was waiting for her groom whom she expected to be a 25 yrs old guy but she was shocked when she saw her grandfather aged man interes the room whom she was expecting to be her future father in law.

The girl was living in that village for 3 months and she found a guy there who promised her for taking her back to her mom and dad. Oneday the guy came and both girl and guy fled the village. Soon the reached kabul and the girl went to her family.

After searching everywhere the old man came back to kabul and met the girl's father. The girl's father refused about knowing where the girl was.

time kept passing and Talibans' government ended in kabul . The girl's father found a police job in da new government and went to old man's village. Draged him to kabul and forced him to give talaq to his daughter. The man was a powerful mullah during taliban time and now he couldnt do anything being scared of government and etc. He agreed to sigh the talaq or divorce paper and Now the girl is married to the guy who kidnapped or helped her run away from the village.


The moral of the story is clear. A young girl whos married to an old woman can commit zina,run away from home,kill herself or die of being sad,oppressed