Marriage to non-Pashtuns

[Laila]

Please don't mind me saying this, but what's the use of him being such a proud Pukhtoon if he never bothered to teach you Pukhto? Please don't mind Grane.

No i dont mind, he does not want us to commit the same mistake he did, thats why. And i dont think it was just my fathers fault, also my mother. If they both valued both languages, then why not speak to us both, right?

[Dinosaur Khan]

@Amer khel
it is your personal motive, no one here is authority to dismiss your ambitions and plans. Just learn pashto, marry a pakhtuna ,declare yourself pashtun and get settled in pakhtunkhwa, no need to ask for opinions...
I suggest you to open a thread and ask this question.

[Pakhtunzai]

@Amer khel
it is your personal motive, no one here is authority to dismiss your ambitions and plans. Just learn pashto, marry a pakhtuna ,declare yourself pashtun and get settled in pakhtunkhwa, no need to ask for opinions...
I suggest you to open a thread and ask this question.

ok =)..but i was talking in general wrora not only just me and yeah i will open a new thread.

[Dinosaur Khan]

Please don't mind me saying this, but what's the use of him being such a proud Pukhtoon if he never bothered to teach you Pukhto? Please don't mind Grane.

What about those who speaks pashto & follow pashto and take pride in being pashtun, often curse tajiks alot but.... marry the same tajiks?

Nothing wrong in inter-ethnic marraiges but in urdu it is said "pehle apne grebaan may jaanko pir dosro pe ungli utao"

[gadoonwal]

This is something i strongly disagree.Pashtun should marry pashtun to keep pashtu and pashtunwali alive.
The example of those pashtun married to the tajiks is clear.They lost pashtu in the first place.

[gadoonwal]

They are Muslim. No problem with it.

Yes,they are muslim and we should respect them cus they our country men.Dear,we/pashtuns are also muslims and pashto the language of pashtuns right but i wonder why they never learn and respect our language?dira manana/many thanks

[inqilab]

Guess what? My khosti cousin married a palestinian/korean muslima. Very good girl mashallah.

[abubaker]

doestn who you marry for as long as they are good muslims and have good akhlaq, language and race shouldnt play a mojor role in looking for a spouse.

language is only but a way of exprecing ones feelings and intentions

[Shayesta]

It is morally wrong for a pakhtun woman to show her arrogance by the name of nang and honour by enforcing pashto on her kids when married to a non-pashtun.

Eh, since when is teaching your kids YOUR language called forcing!? And why is it wrong, because a woman wishes to speak to her OWN children in her OWN language? By the way, why else you think a language is called a mother-tongue? And is it only wrong for Pukhtana women or all women? If all women then why don't you make understand those thousands of Punjapai women who marry your Niazi men in particular and whose children don't even speak ONE WORD of Pukhto? And if it's only wrong for Pukhtana women (in your eyes) then it's okay, we already got enough self-hating Pukhtoons on your side of the border. You surely might be welcomed as well.

She should respect and adopt the langauge ,customs of the family to which she is married to.

In order to respect some people you don't have to forget your own identity. She might be married to this man for few years but what about the language, customs and teachings she got from her own family since she was born? A woman isn't born with a husband, she is a born with her own family and therefore has the full right to teach her kids what she has been taught. A woman isn't anyone's property, she has got desires of her own and a mother knows how to raise her kids. Compare this with fathers and you will know what I mean.

Compared to the males, it is mostly female pashtun who chooses a non-pashtun partner, just like white females mostly marrying blacks while white males dont marry black women so much.

Pukhtana women in Afghanistan usually face arranged marriage when marrying a non-Pukhtoon. And it's quiet laughable you saying that Pukhtoon women marry non-Pukhtoons more often than other way round, LOL.


And about me and my future kids, I won't ever mind him speaking his language with our children but I also want the right to speak my own language with my kids and I made this clear to him waaaaaaaaaaay before we got married. Since I was raised in Europe majority of my in-laws think my Dari is poor and therefore especially my brothers-in-law defended me very well when my father-in-law requested me to speak Dari with younger family members. Thank God he has given up on that one by now.

[Shayesta]

No i dont mind, he does not want us to commit the same mistake he did, thats why. And i dont think it was just my fathers fault, also my mother. If they both valued both languages, then why not speak to us both, right?

Then it's good he is trying to correct his mistake. Too bad especially your mum's family has completely lost Pukhto to Dari but at least you can make a change and I am glad you made your parents realise this.

What about those who speaks pashto & follow pashto and take pride in being pashtun, often curse tajiks alot but.... marry the same tajiks?
Nothing wrong in inter-ethnic marraiges but in urdu it is said "pehle apne grebaan may jaanko pir dosro pe ungli utao"

Nice way to TRY and describe me but unfortunately (for you) my husband ain't any Tajik! :D

[Dinosaur Khan]

why it is laughable for you that pashtun women marry non-pashtun more often?

female nature is such that she doesnt bother much about ethnicity and race. So usually step outside circle of community.

May be in afghanistan the case is different.

[Shayesta]

^ I guess it is because it's actually Pukhtoon MEN who don't care about race or language otherwise they would have bothered to teach their kids at least one word of Pukhto, when marrying a non-Pukhtana. All Pukhtana women I have seen so far who married non-Pukhtoons have observed their language with their kids and in most cases even with their husbands.

[Dinosaur Khan]

You may be right . but you have agreed with me that lot of pashtanas marry with non-pashtuns (many pashtuns deny it and lie that pashtuns do not marry with non-pashtuns at all)

[Shayesta]

^ Yes they do but in most cases it has been in arranged marriages, especially in Afghanistan. My mum married a Pukhtoon but all my aunts and my mum's cousins have married non-Pukhtoons and guess what? Only Pukhto is being spoken in their house.

[MazloomyarMaseed]

They are Muslim. No problem with it.

So you will allow African to marry our Peghlay? No way at all, Pashtuns should stick with Pashtun, I dont want our genetic pool to be considered a censepool like America. I strongly Object to Mix Marriages, but i do not object outsiders living on our land, but breeding is out of question sorry to say.