Marriage to non-Pashtuns

[Sangeen]

@Roshina,

Sometimes its better that one stay quite. This "Idiot" is a bay-haya and a bay-ghairata person.

He losses no skin off his nose by insulting someone's wife without even knowing her. This goes to show what kind of background he come from.

Problem is that he is hiding behind internet using derogatory terms to someone else's ezat and proving to himself that what a great pashtun he is and what great pashtuns his parents are.

He is like a gutter the more you stir it the more filth will come out of it. So you might as well ignore him, like I have.

[کیش]

@Roshina, Sometimes its better that one stay quite. This Idiots is a bay haya and a bay ghairata person he losses no skin off his nose by insulting someone's wife without even knowing her. this goes to show what kind of background he come from.

Problem is that he is hiding behind internet using derogatory terms to someone else's ezat and proving to himself that what a great pashtun he is and what a great pashtun woman his parents are.

His like a gutter the more you stir it the more filth will come out of it.

Oh shut up. Am the beghairot for getting engaged, getting Nikah then dumping her. Did he not care, about the girl? Did he properly get a divorce? Did he give her her rights?
Shows how will you were raised.

[Sangeen]

sangeens friend was selfish he only thought of himself , as for that girl what is her life people will talk about her for the rest of life , for her next husband she will become a stain, and he will use that accusation on her everytime hes angry at her over anything normal couples get angry over i feel sorry for the girl and her family.

You prove my point to the max. What you are referring to is the cultural bull ****. In Islam if any of the two are not happy with each other they can decide to walk away from marriage. And there is no shame in it. Islam makes our lives easier its the stupid Indian stamped and approved pashtun culture of yours that makes the life ever so miserable. WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY, LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR PEOPLE. crap..

He was not happy with stupidity of his in laws and hoped that his wife would be different but when he realised that his wife is the same and he knew that will not be able to live his life with her, he walked away. If a girl can not realise that she is insulting her Husband by telling him that she will rather hitch a ride with someone else then getting into the car with him. Then I think you need not to look anywhere else to stick the blame.

[IamDZJ]

janga janga toor sha...

[unknownprince]

@Roshina,

Sometimes its better that one stay quite. This "Idiot" is a bay-haya and a bay-ghairata person.

He losses no skin off his nose by insulting someone's wife without even knowing her. This goes to show what kind of background he come from.

Problem is that he is hiding behind internet using derogatory terms to someone else's ezat and proving to himself that what a great pashtun he is and what great pashtuns his parents are.

He is like a gutter the more you stir it the more filth will come out of it. So you might as well ignore him, like I have.

Sangeen,

I think you should take it easy. You have raised some issues. I think what you are saying is that it is difficult for you to find someone due to social and traditional constraints? Am I right?

Well, in that case, maybe you should go to some respected individual who is already married (without any arrangement), and you will find your answers.


I don't know why you are ranting about pashtunwali.

I read what you said. What I take from it is that you wish the culture was less restrictive??

right?


I

[unknownprince]

Sangeen , You are giving a very misogynistic and sexist view of the matter. Did your friend expect her to just get out and let him drive her around town when she was not fully married to him yet? What happens if he then decided against marriage???

Stories will spread, and all that mumbo jumbo, Before you know it, there will be an army at your family's door.

next thing you have is full scale feud, and bloodshed all for your friend being inconsiderate.

[IamDZJ]

sangeen let your personal life remain your own business by not discussing them with this particular bunch of teens and preteens. some of the things that these people say can get the hair on your neck to stand up from shock and irritation.

[IamDZJ]

My brothers would never do that from day one they were told these are our traditions , and if any one of you disrespect anyones daughter we would rather you find your own .

kakargirl everyone is not your brothers. different people have different rules and principles for reasons only known to them and God by which they choose to live their life. okay??

[faye]

now, now, sweetheart,

kakargirl everyone is not your brothers. different people have different rules and principles for reasons only known to them and God by which they choose to live their life. okay??

back in your room. you haven't taken your medication yet, tut, tut

[IamDZJ]

back in your room. you haven't taken your medication yet, tut, tut

faye it's not funny all the time. please learn to understand that and don't get on my nerves unless you want to be treated like a 12 year old which we both know doesn't suit you or me.
the amount of ignorance around here disgusts me and i am afraid i will never come around a cure for that.

[faye]

try avoiding the pain.

[IamDZJ]

try avoiding the pain.

have you tried avoiding me?

[کیش]

sangeen let your personal life remain your own business by not discussing them with this particular bunch of teens and preteens. some of the things that these people say can get the hair on your neck to stand up from shock and irritation.

[Catya Sher]

Let's go back to the situation.
Now did the friend demand his gold back?
No = so he wasn't a jerk.

I feel instinctively that the girl was not a particularly right person
for him, maybe a 20th choice on the real list.

So do you guys see that whether the guy behaved ideally or not,
many can learn from situations like this so that if it happens to them
they will handle correctly and smoothly rather than awkwardly.

Remember life is about LEARNING.
Everyone makes mistakes in some form or another.

Why not have a constructive approach to seize the good from a story
that one can preserve in one's mind?

I like Sangeen because I see he is fearless about standing up to those types
who are virtual ICONS of many on this PF.

I was so pleased with that. For from what I have seen, various members
treat either this type or outright Communists as extra-cool people who
are Oh So Learned.
Yeah sure !

Think about how Wali Khan and his party helped various terrorist - REAL TERRORIST - organizations.

Yet America said nothing
Russia was in on it, so they smiled happily at their loyal vassal's aid to the general cause.

It's a long story but look at the hypocrisy:
so many call the taliban terrorists simply because Washington DC terms them this.

Where were these same officials when Wali Khan was helping KHaD blow up NUMEROUS targets in Peshawar and environs ?
I was there = there were explosions almost every day.

Where was all the barrage of US propaganda about THOSE terrorists at that time?

Almost entirely quiet.
Only the Pakistani press talked about this subject because it concerned
the NWFP's stability.
I also wrote about it in fact.

[Laila]

sangeens friend was selfish he only thought of himself , as for that girl what is her life people will talk about her for the rest of life , for her next husband she will become a stain, and he will use that accusation on her everytime hes angry at her over anything normal couples get angry over i feel sorry for the girl and her family.

You prove my point to the max. What you are referring to is the cultural bull ****. In Islam if any of the two are not happy with each other they can decide to walk away from marriage. And there is no shame in it. Islam makes our lives easier its the stupid Indian stamped and approved pashtun culture of yours that makes the life ever so miserable. WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY, LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR PEOPLE. crap..

Khorey, he is right there here. Islam say about divorce? and what does your culture say about divorce?

This is what is wrong with our Afghan/Pashtun society....we are so worried about what 'others say.' Really? isnt that Backbiting??? which is completely frowned upon in Islam?if you talk about others marriages....what business do they have to talk about 'you and your husband' or 'you and your wife' Marriage matters are behind close doors and should stay like that....sadly people do not get that


I am sorry, i could actually care less what people say if i am getting divorced. I have been given the choice, by religion to get married....and i have been given the choice by religion to end the marriage if needed to. I get married through Islam way, and i will end the marriage through Islam way. If the marriage was bad and me and my children were miserable...i will ask for a divorce. Obviously i would make sure to make my marriage work, and do everything in my power to keep it....but if it does not work then it just doesnt.