Marriage to non-Pashtuns

[Master Khan]

oh dude... your one of a kind.. I dnt need to go 2 ur village whn we have u adverstising wht it stands for... If 2 MUSLIM people wish to marry each other be they of different ethnicities who are you TO OPPOSE IT WHEN GODS LAW ALLOWS IT?
look at where I am from... the first female Dr in NWFP was frm my village... since then it has produced many many more... my cousins wife is a Dr, My friend who is a female is a Dr, her sister is a dentist, mathmaticians, etc women even in the village where I am from drive, work and own businesses independly of men.... Move beyond your little stone age ideas and get with the times!

look If they got married within the tribe or close to the village then we can still be close to our daughters, sisters etc, but giving them away to punjabies, mirpuris etc will be a problem them, because if they treat them bad then what you going to do.
Mashallah and thats good, I have nothing against females education etc, we need education and thank god we got that.

and if you love your precious village that much go back 2 it!

I am planing on that in the near future inshallah.
All my family is in Pakhtunkhwa anyway.

[Dreamer]

you didnt answer my question... is your law above that of Gods law? which allows for muslims of different ethnicities 2 marry one another???? nobody here gives a c**p about prehsitoric ideas like you have... and its better you do go back because your really out of place

[tor_khan]

you didnt answer my question... is your law above that of Gods law? which allows for muslims of different ethnicities 2 marry one another???? nobody here gives a c**p about prehsitoric ideas like you have... and its better you do go back because your really out of place

Elsewhere on the board, didn't you make the statement that religion was a private affair? Seems odd that you should then test someone with it if you honestly believe that.

[PFgulalai]

@Dreamer
I would beg to barge into the argumernt going on between you and Master Khan. I wonder what kind of Pashtun (if you are??) are you that you are contented to marry your females into other ethnicities? Jews stick to Jews;Chinese stick to Chinese or Brahmans wed to Brahmans...so if our Pashtunwali demands us to do so, then what's wrong with it??If this all look 'prehistoric' to you, you are allowed to live with your own 'modernity' which makes you quite 'out of place' in the grand scheme of things related to Pashtunwali.
It's a really run-of-the-mill tactic to bring Islam and God as a central focus of your argument when you have no other better reasoning. Religion is just a part of our culture.We are muslims but that does not make us Arabs. We have a thousands years old history, culture, and code of life--Pashtunwali. I would not want to contaminate 'Pashtun genes' with genes other than Pashtuns. One always have a choice of marrying a Pashtun 'muslim' and there is no dearth of doctors, dentists, mathematicians, scientists, businessmen, actors,educators,politicians--THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!

you didnt answer my question... is your law above that of Gods law? which allows for muslims of different ethnicities 2 marry one another???? nobody here gives a crap about prehsitoric ideas like you have... and its better you do go back because your really out of place

[Roshina]

Dreamer, it is okay if you don't believe that race/ethnicity/culture/language should play a role in your decision of whom you marry, but for many people, especially here, it is critical that our partner speak Pukhto. That doesn't mean marriage to non-Pukhtuns doesn't happen, of course, since we have evidence that it does happen. But it just means that's often preferable to those Pukhtuns who believe that the only way they can keep their language and culture is by marrying those who speak their language and passing it on to their kids.

For me, there are many other factors involved in whom I would marry, but a Pukhtun who speaks Pukhto very well (written and spoken) is definitely a priority. If I were to marry a non-Pukhtun, then the problem would be, I'd have to speak Pukhto with my kids -- because I woudln't wanna compromise my language -- but that'd be unfair to the language that my husband would speak, since my children would be his children, too, and why should they not learn and speak his native language? Some people say, "Hey, as long as you speak Pukhto with your children, it doesn't matter who you marry." But, no, why deny the fact that your kids' blood is 50% yours and 50% their father's?

But this is just me. I would prefer marriage only to a Pukhto-speaking Pukhtun. The man would have to be absolutely exceptional for me to marry him if he's not Pukhtun.

[Dreamer]

preference is 1 thing but saying its wrong 2 marry non pashtuns is another!

[Dreamer]

Elsewhere on the board, didn't you make the statement that religion was a private affair? Seems odd that you should then test someone with it if you honestly believe that.

it is but when the person ur arguing against says he/she is muslim and then says its wrong 2 marry non pashtuns u can use their bliefs againts them as in this instance...

[Roshina]

preference is 1 thing but saying its wrong 2 marry non pashtuns is another!

I agree. I don't believe it's "wrong" to marry a non-Pukhtun, because to each her/his own. Those who marry only among Pukhtuns have their reasons, but we shouldn't assume that the reasons for those who are okay with marrying non-Pukhtuns have no good reasons.

[Dreamer]

@Dreamer
I would beg to barge into the argumernt going on between you and Master Khan. I wonder what kind of Pashtun (if you are??) are you that you are contented to marry your females into other ethnicities? Jews stick to Jews;Chinese stick to Chinese or Brahmans wed to Brahmans...so if our Pashtunwali demands us to do so, then what's wrong with it??If this all look 'prehistoric' to you, you are allowed to live with your own 'modernity' which makes you quite 'out of place' in the grand scheme of things related to Pashtunwali.
It's a really run-of-the-mill tactic to bring Islam and God as a central focus of your argument when you have no other better reasoning. Religion is just a part of our culture.We are muslims but that does not make us Arabs. We have a thousands years old history, culture, and code of life--Pashtunwali. I would not want to contaminate 'Pashtun genes' with genes other than Pashtuns. One always have a choice of marrying a Pashtun 'muslim' and there is no dearth of doctors, dentists, mathematicians, scientists, businessmen, actors,educators,politicians--THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!

contaminate???? loooll oh my words and here was me thinking that eugenics was a proven pseudo science....

[Dreamer]

I agree. I don't believe it's "wrong" to marry a non-Pukhtun, because to each her/his own. Those who marry only among Pukhtuns have their reasons, but we shouldn't assume that the reasons for those who are okay with marrying non-Pukhtuns have no good reasons.

read his posts he said true pashtuns dont marry out/..... so those that do are not pashtuns? Please! Spare me the bs... If you want 2 stick to pashtun fine do so but if not then dnt say its wrong 2 marry out

[Roshina]

read his posts he said true pashtuns dont marry out/..... so those that do are not pashtuns? Please! Spare me the bs... If you want 2 stick to pashtun fine do so but if not then dnt say its wrong 2 marry out

I know - I've heard that from the same member and a few others before.

But my response was more specifically to your idea of "prehistoric" thinking.

[Dreamer]

his prehistoric was his idea that marrying non pashtuns was wrong... when I see my realitive and her NON PASHTUN husband I say wow they are perfect... she is my 2nd cousin and lives in Norway in Stravanger and she met her Norweigen huband there... he reverted 2 Islam 3 yrs before and married her and this is 5 yrs later and yes they are very much together and very happy... according to master Khan our family made the ultimate sin by allowing this "unholy union" in his eyes

[PFgulalai]

Well if not in your words, in practice you are following eugenics--marrying the best out of the rest even if that is a non-Pashtun..Ahem!Ahem!

contaminate???? loooll oh my words and here was me thinking that eugenics was a proven pseudo science....

[Dreamer]

eugenics refers 2 a perefct race... morals cant be inherited!

[Master Khan]

read his posts he said true pashtuns dont marry out/..... so those that do are not pashtuns? Please! Spare me the bs... If you want 2 stick to pashtun fine do so but if not then dnt say its wrong 2 marry out

if you giving you females to non-pashtun then its not really a pashtuns thing.
if you don't care about your pashtun culture, lauguage etc then its fine.