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You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go.
(For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home by 6pm.
Your parents hate the Russians.
People you call "Kaka Jan" always smell up the bathroom at parties.
If you aren't married and you turn 25, your parents start wringing their hands and proclaim that it's too late.
You have never met half of your extended family.
Either you really like Afghans of the opposite sex or you can't stand them.
Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds.
Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day.
Your parents had eight daughters in hopes of having a son.
One or both of your parents skipped at least one year of elementary school.
You have cousins you have never met, whose names you don't know, but who insist they're related to you, even though they bear NO resemblance to anyone YOU know.
Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage
on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
A successful marriage is one where your parents and your husband's/wife's parents like and understand each other.
Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids.
When you compare your friends to yourself, your parents say, "You aren't the same person as they are!"
The second you pull out of someone's driveway, your parents start talking about them.
At least once a week your mom says, "The good old days in Afghanistan."
Your parents were the richest most respected people "back home".
Older siblings always listen to your parents' conversations.
No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer.
Your parent's always refuse to buy so called "luxury items" because of the poverty "back home"
Pre Historic "Modern" Afghan Chicks refer to *kabul* as "kabul Jan".
Pre Historic "even more modern chicks" refer to *Afghanistan* as "kabul Jan"
Your parents have their own unique names for everything such as;
- Tissues =Tushis
- Barbeque = Babooqi
- Roosevelt Boulevard = Roosabaar Beeroobaar
- Video = Visio
- Liberty Park = Liability Park
- Syrup = SRDUP
- Blockbuster Video - Black ******* Viseo
The best things in the world were invented by Afghans such as Electricity
- The Aeroplane
The western society somehow managed to steal the formulas and make it their own.
Two or more afghan men will always talk politics with each other Two or more afghan women will always start their sentences with "did you know...."
New brides coming to Canada from Pakistan are always under the age of 18 but have managed to finish a University course at Kabul University five years ago.
Afghan females who have newly arrived in Canada are ALWAYS younger = than afghan femlales who were brought up in Canada.
Newly arrived afghan guys always become more americanised than those = brought up in America.
Most afghan guys have illusions of being black.
Most afghan men have illusions of knowing everything there is to know.
Most 'cultured' afghan men will dress up in a suit and tie for a day out in the park.
Most afghan guys have illusions that an afghan girl wants to marry him as soon as he catches her so much as glance his way in an afghan function.
An afghan girl is bad if she laughs out loud at an afghan functions.
To be considered good, an afghan girl sits quietly all night long, staring at her hands resting in her lap.
)Within the Afghan female community, Gossip has a new name = "shereen Baas"
Afghan parents like to live their children's lives for them.
When children complain parents always seem to have the same guilt trip: "the things we have done for you to get you to where u are today...."
Food is not worthy of eating if it is not floating in two centimetres deep oil.
You haven't really had dinner unless you've had rice, and meat.
A wedding was either good or bad depending on the food, and the food only.
it takes 10 mins to say hi how are you... after you greet each other 'properly', you actually ask them other how they are
you get waken up in the middle of the night by your parents talkin 'long distance' on the phone
you get a cellphone and your dad says "are you a business man?"
your dad teaches you how to find fresh watermelons by slapping them
when you were younger and went to buy shoes with your dad, he used to bend, twist and throw the shoe up in the air to see if their good... you show him what you like and he shows you the leather "bachem charm ast!"
the only time you go out for dinner with the whole family is at eid...and the only place you go to is manderin buffet
your dad calls you by atleast 2 of your brothers names by the time he gets yours right LOL
You Know your Afghan when you grow a football field of "Na Na" in your garden
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