Pashtun women meeting Pashtun men and vice-versa.

[KingKhan]

Manzerah

Your right in a sense, but labeling the people Afghan/Pashtun girls, you are deliberately trying to separate them from other Pashtuns. Also, I don't think they will be any mixed gender meet up.

Also, if it is, it's their graves and not yours. You voiced your concern which was the right thing to do, but your going overboard.

And also, you labeled Americans as liberals? Hmmm make a thread, and I will love to discuss this. As well as how I feel about UK Muslims.

[IamDZJ]

and how do you know their decent and respectful? how sure are you that they wont be looking in you face and thinking about having sex with you at the same time, how sure are you that they wont be checking out ur figure?

'Serious things' Serious things like what? dont be stupid

First of all we are talking about sensible pashtun muslim men here. Not cavemen who are addicted to zinc. Natural hormones are easy to handle. Its steroids that make people think irrationally.
Secondly i cant be held responsible for what other people think while they stare at me. That type of a thing can happen anywhere to a man or a woman. Does that mean we stop leaving the house? No that just means we dress appropriatley and mind our own business.
Last but not least, one must always give the other a chance before making a judgment about them. Its wrong in islam to accuse someone's character of being ill with out having proof first.
Our men are not like that and no one is so deserate as to pretend they have an interest in being a part of a discussion abou the future of pashtuns just so they can get to stare at the face a girl and be a pervert.
Don't be irrational.

[Michin Khel]

all you had to say was "I condone excessive freedom which is beyond our relilgion and culture"

and yes the line shouldnt be crossed, regardless of gender. thanks

but you see in Islam everything is condoned for a reason, i used to think "why is it bad to talk to girls on a forum? after all its virtual reality"..and now i know why because one thing leads to another.

good point

[Wrayun]

To all you afghans/Pashtuns that are organising some blind dating session (I joke). I'm curious wudnt your parents mind you women meeting up with random dudes from an Internet forum?? After all is this not called PASHTUN forums, do Pashtun women link up with strangers openly? You people never cease to amaze me, even more so because you all hide your appereance and act all innocent on the internet but in real life you have the balls to hook up and cross the line. Very strange people indeed. Tauba me dah

Which random dudes.... I think Peroza talked about girls meeting up. The rest are girls talking to girls about meeting up. So where did the dudes come in from?

Let's say that dudes are going to be there, how are they random? It's a meeting of a bunch of Pukhtoons from this website, it's not a blind date circus show. How is this different then meeting someone at uni, college, work, out in the park?

As for your concern that one thing might lead to another, that can happen anywhere. You might be very sure that you have locked your females in a shielded environment, but when someone has an itch to scratch they'll find a way to do it regardless. There are women who wear burkhas, and hijaabs, and are all conservative but do the nasty behind closed doors. Sometime they'll find what they need inside their own homes and neighborhood. No need to go on meetings. If there is a will, then there is a way.

You are jumping the gun cousin. I'm not big on mixed gatherings either, but let's stop here from calling the female members ****s and what not. You are imposing your own paranoia and projecting what you fear on to the lives of others.

As for what is condoned in Islam, Islam is not a prison. Muslims in the West have no choice but to find suitable partners from networking. Organizations and events like MSA etc. etc. are there to serve that purpose. Even in the masajids when some is looking for a partner to marry they do interact and get to know each other before performing nekkah.

If Pukhtoon girls and boys, can find someone to marry from these meetings, whats wrong with it? Do you prefer them to marry non-Pukhtoons, and eventually non-Muslims? Look at the pros and cons. Don't worry, the guys who will participate in these meetings, will not have a problem with girls that go to such "meetings". The understanding is mutual. I'm sure Pukhtoon girls, and guys, who go to such gatherings, wouldn't marry any girl or guy that will go beyond what our religion or culture permits. If they do, well, good for them. Like minded people, will find like minded people.

If there is a Pukhtoon guy who wants a wife that is sheltered, then obviously he won't find a partner in such a place. It is best he go back home and find one. Though don't bet on it, even back home girls and boys are finding their own spouses from "meetings" in class, work etc.

You are mixing your culture with religion here. In Islam, a mature, baligh, Muslim woman can find her self a suitable Muslim man to marry. Most of these youths are not in Pukhtoonkhwa, there isn't a network, a family, to take care of their needs.

Some Pukhtoon guys and girls I know are very cultured, conservative, but not married. Because they can't find suitable partners. It's not about looks, it's about understanding, outlook on life, career, education. I know some very pious, very religious, and very very very Pukhtoon girls who have met great Pukhtoon guys from the internet, from the web, from these websites.

Don't discourage something wonderful, because of your own fears bacha.

[IamDZJ]

unfortunately we don't live in a sharia compliant state, most of use live in the west so traditional islamic and pashtun values are harder to follow and not everyone believes in the same interpretation of islam and not everyone is musllim.

In the west pashtun girls have male classmates. Do you think they hide from them or something? In the work place you have male colleagues, you have to interact with them and talk to them. You can't be just insular and inward looking. If you want to follow islam and pashtun way then its better to live in the homeland.

You can't have everything.

First things first. Freedom defined is not the exploitation of the character.

[Wrayun]

If this was 14th Aug, or Chand Raat, where Hindu, Sikh, guys dance with Pakistani Muslim girls, all in happy Desi occasion, I'm sure no Pakistani would mind. I have noticed that my fellow Pukhtoons from KP, have this duplicity. They take their families to all sorts of Pakistani functions, gathering, with strange men from all sorts of backgrounds but for some reason have a problem with Pukhtoon gatherings.

Afghans on the other hand constantly hold gatherings, meetings, poetry sessions etc. They have BBQ's, they have Eid events, they invite Pukhtoon singers and performers etc. There you can let your men meet other Pukhtoon/Afghan men, and let your women meet other Pukhtoon/Afghan women. But no, for some reason, it is a taboo for my fellow KP Pukhtoons to do the same. It is haram to meet fellow Pukhtoons, but okay to get involved with desi's constantly.

The accusation that these meetings serve no point, is absurd and unfounded. The meetings are to network with other Pukhtoons, like minded Pukhtoons, to established a sense of community. Punjaabis Musalman do it, Mahajir do it, Arabs do it, Muslims do it, Christians do it, Jews do it, Pukhtoon shouldn't because its bad? Nonsense.

Pukhtoons should get together, create a Pukhtoon environment for Pukhtoons. A healthy place for Pukhtoon culture to thrive and understandings to mature. Without giving these young people a platform, we will lose them to others i.e. non-Pukhtoon communities.

Check it out, how many Pukhtoon female members here are from Pukhtoonkhwa? One? Two? Now go to Pakistani sites, you will find hundreds of them, interacting with non-Pukhtoons guys, singing Urdu poetry, discussing Punjaabi bangrah etc. We are losing them to other communities, communities that are not even as strong on Islam as Afghan/Pukhtoons are.

Pukhtoon youth in the west need a community, and if they don't find a Pukhtoon community they'll be assimilated into a non-Pukhtoon, and a non-Muslim one as well.

It is a huge problem here in the West. Only recently, platforms like PF can provide a solution.

I mean of course, you don't want to go to a meeting where Maseed and Sangar are invited. You want to avoid those. **** j/k, I toking ****

...but yeah, you get to know who is coming, you get to judge them here by their arguments, and see if the people getting together can be trusted and respectable. It's never 100% sure, but at least you have some idea to work with. Also, no one said you can't bring your baba, your brother, your mother or your aunt or your grand father. Make it a family event, do it at a house, at home.

[Michin Khel]

@wrayan
Pashtuns of america do not represent pashtuns of homeland. I have spent 4 years in Qatar, and all pashtun events are conducted by kp pashtuns, afghans are nowhere to be seen participating. Dont judge us by your westrenized version of pashtuns in your country.
Beside what is wrong in participating pakistani events by kp pashtuns, afterall it is their country.

[KingKhan]

@wrayan
Pashtuns of america do not represent pashtuns of homeland. I have spent 4 years in Qatar, and all pashtun events are conducted by kp pashtuns, afghans are nowhere to be seen participating. Dont judge us by your westrenized version of pashtuns in your country.
Beside what is wrong in participating pakistani events by kp pashtuns, afterall it is their country.

Lol Qatar i the west? Please ask any questions about America, all kindly answer all of them.

[Feroza_Banu]

thanks Wryun for your beautiful posts


anyways, Laila and Roshina, i am serious about meeting up so you guys should tell me seriously if u are able to meet... i am sure we can contact Fatima and Kandahari Ella to meet as well... as far as Zayam goes... i will ask her myself whether she will be in our area anytime soon.

Roshina: if u decide to fly... you can stay with me inshaAllah, u won't see a sight of Angaar at home... i will kick him out of the home to my mom's place... so me and you can share my place... with no worries. i promise!... dasai fikir woka che sta khpal kor dei pa california kei!

[Michin Khel]

Lol Qatar i the west? Please ask any questions about America, all kindly answer all of them.

i know qatar is in gulf, it was an example.
Ok here is question for u, in terms of interactions, kp pashtuns are close to afghans or pakistanis in america?

[Wrayun]

@wrayan
Pashtuns of america do not represent pashtuns of homeland. I have spent 4 years in Qatar, and all pashtun events are conducted by kp pashtuns, afghans are nowhere to be seen participating. Dont judge us by your westrenized version of pashtuns in your country.
Beside what is wrong in participating pakistani events by kp pashtuns, afterall it is their country.

Pukhtoons of homeland those who live in Qabail areas are mocked at by Pukhtoons of homeland that reside in urban centers for thinking exactly like the way you want to project them. The "mommy daddy" generation of urban Pukhtoon cities laugh at traditional Pukhtoons. Colleges and universities in KP are very open, girlfriend and boyfriend is not a uncommon phenomenon. People are making mobile videos having sex, kissing, etc. and posting them on YouTube, all from KP!!! What is going on back home put Pukhtoons of the West to shame. I haven't seen a single incident where a Pukhtoon from the West has been exposed on YouTube, but there are many videos on YouTube of Pukhtoon guys and girls from back home doing shameful things. Thanks to mobiles, we can see how "holy" these people really are.

Qatar and other gulf regions are worker hubs mostly composed of Asians, and have a large number of KP Pukhtoons. So when they bring Zarsanga, it is understandable. Now that in contrast to UK, Canada and America, the people at the forefront for holding Pukhtoon/Afghan events are Afghans. KP Pukhtoons are not big on their heritage, they shy away from it. Unless when they are in a fight with a fellow non-Pukhtoon Pakistani. Then they are big time Pathans and Afghans, and warn the poor non-Pukhtoon Pakistani of "consequences". Tujay pata hain main pathaan hoon? And the non-Pukhtoon replies...nahi bhai...I would have never guessed it. I thought you were a desi just like me all this time...why didn't you say so in the first place? lolllll

As for KP Pukhtoons participating in Pakistani events, good for them. But they should cut the hypocrisy. If their mothers and sisters are good enough to be entertained by non-Pukhtoon Pakistanis in mixed gatherings, then they should be good enough for fellow Afghans/Pukhtoons gatherings. If still they insist on such double standards, at least they should keep their moral advices to themselves.

[KingKhan]

i know qatar is in gulf, it was an example.
Ok here is question for u, in terms of interactions, kp pashtuns are close to afghans or pakistanis in america?

That's a real good question!

Am in NY so all speak for NY.

I can't tell KP Pashtun from Afghan ones. They speak Pashto, but obviously not Dari, most speak Urdu too. It really depends on the person, of he's good friends with a Punjabi, he will hang out with him instead of an Afghan, and vice versa. They are not gonna go out of their way to hang out with a Punjabi because he's Pakistani, and shun an Afghan, vice versa. Also remember NY is very diverse and you can find Afghan and KP Pashtuns hanging with other races, instead of each others.

They don't have anymore Afghan Jashens in NY that am aware of. When it had they were KP Pashtuns attending them. They also had Pakistani Jashens, they go their as well. Am an Afghan, and have attended Pakistani Jasens, for some reason their more fun then Afghan ones
In terms of marriage, I have never seen a KP pashtun married with a Punjabi. Theirs alot of KP Pashtuns married to Afghan Pashtuns. My uncle is from Kohat/Peshawer, and he's married to my aunt an Afghan Pashtun. I also have Numerous cousins married with KP Pashtuns.

I hope I answer your question, though i know it's not the best. If you got anymore, all try my best to answer them

[Michin Khel]

thank you king khan , your answer was very helpful.

[KingKhan]

thank you king khan , your answer was very helpful.

Don't hesitate, ask more questions! More about Afg/Pak, Islam. Anything about NY. From your posts I know you have much more questions.

[Fahd]

loooooooooooooooool ^ what !! r u mindreader :p lol