"Nikah” After “Rukhsati"

[Azad Khel]

In most of the pashtun weddings the ceremony of nikah is held after the departure of the bride from her parents house to the house of her in-laws (husband).
According to the Islamic Sharia, the consent of the bride is a must, but how the girl/woman can refuse if she is not willing under such circumstances.
Of course, most of the girls accept the wishes of their parents but sometimes the forced marriages take place due to such traditions.
What are your views on this tradition of pukhtoon society?

[شمله ور خراساني]

the pashtun customs of nikkah is totally un-Islamic. We force women into marriage against their consent. What's much worse than that, parents often sell their daughter to the highest bidder in Afghanistan.

Nikkah is to be established in the house of the bride where here family is. Not somewhere else.

[graveyardofempires]

the pashtun customs of nikkah is totally un-Islamic. We force women into marriage against their consent. What's much worse than that, parents often sell their daughter to the highest bidder in Afghanistan.

Nikkah is to be established in the house of the bride where here family is. Not somewhere else.

thats total non sense and exageration


Pukhtane do Islamic nekah and i dont know about force marriages and selling daughters,maybe in your family.never heard of such non sense.

[شمله ور خراساني]

thats total non sense and exageration

Pukhtane do Islamic nekah and i dont know about force marriages and selling daughters,maybe in your family.never heard of such non sense.

Nikkah in Pashtun culture is un-Islamic. Because in Shariah nikkah must be in accordance with Qur'an and Sunnah. Otherwise, the Nikkah is void.

If you want to learn more about the subject please listen to the following:

» 90 DA WADA RASAM AO RIWAAJ @ QuranAwSunnat.com

» WADA KAWAL @ QuranAwSunnat.com


» NEKAH BAYAN @ QuranAwSunnat.com

» 25 MASALAI NEKAH @ QuranAwSunnat.com

» 202 DA WADA RASMONA AW REWAJONA @ QuranAwSunnat.com

[graveyardofempires]

^
^
you need to learn how to present Islam
instead you go and say nikah in pukhtun culture is un islamic
that is the biggest lie ive ever heard.
nikah is not part of pukhtun culture but its part of Islam and since pukhtane are muslims this means their nikah is in accordance with sharia.
and if there is a case of someone doing otherwise than sharia doesnt mean you jump here saying that pukhtane have some different soort of nikah according to their culture because thats an utter lie.
there is no such thing as a nikah in accordance to pashtun culture and not Islam.

[crazyafghan4life]

شمله ور خراساني GOT OWNED

[Gulalai]

^ chup sha, you don't say that to sangaar

Actually, a LOT of pakhtuns i know of have gotten married without consent.

[IamDZJ]

I swear graveyard you are such an idiot that my head starts hurting when i see a post by you before i event bother to read it. Your family is not all that there is to the pashtuns of afghanistan or the world for that matter. So if someone says something different than what you have seen or heard of before doesnt mean they are a liar.
And please, pretend to have a brain if you dont already.
I havent seen that many nikahs myself to speak of but the ones that i know of have all been done right after the engagement which leads to other issues... That is not the issue as once a pashtana is said to become someone's bride that is it for her. She or her family doesnt have the option of backing off or breaking the engagement so it doesnt matter where the nikah happens until we change that... Actually i am not sure i want it changed but i wish we were more understanding.

[graveyardofempires]

zahro i wish not reply to you but since you started here,please zahro have some haya and dont call me names cuz i wont reply to you back in those terms.

firstly i dont want to pretend to have a brain,i have a brain and you should stop pretending.
i didnt say such things dont happen,i just said dont paint everyone with the same brush,and than dont jump and say that pukhtane are somhow doing a different nikkah than that is according to Islam.
and saying that pukhtane sell their daughters to the highest bidder is ignorant and disrespectful.ive never heard of such things as the poster or shamlawar is saying maybe the have a misconception.

[IamDZJ]

zahro i wish not reply to you but since you started here,please zahro have some haya and dont call me names cuz i wont reply to you back in those terms.

firstly i dont want to pretend to have a brain,i have a brain and you should stop pretending.
i didnt say such things dont happen,i just said dont paint everyone with the same brush,and than dont jump and say that pukhtane are somhow doing a different nikkah than that is according to Islam.
and saying that pukhtane sell their daughters to the highest bidder is ignorant and disrespectful.ive never heard of such things as the poster or shamlawar is saying maybe the have a misconception.

The point is that it happens and that they do. I dont know if you have any experince living with pashtuns in afghanistan or how much of it but i grew up in villages. I used to have a friend who was engaged to a 3 year old boy because some distant relative had made claims of marrying by force if her father didnt agree to it and her father was carrying the animosity of many generations ahead with them.
That guy never married and that girl's youth was wasted.
It was a shiity idea but it worked. Because she was linked to
3 year old, no one threatened to take her by force. It was easier for her parents to sacrifice her than swallow their pride and forgive each other.
There are many cases of afghan girls who have been murdered by their families after becoming victims of rape but i am sure you dont believe it because it wasnt your family members. That is us pashtuns. That is how we define the protection of the honor that is more dear to us than our own lives and the lives of our children and our loved ones. We are here to find a better solution for that so you denying it wont make it go away.
I have to go find my stapler.

[qunduz92]

gye i also think its bs. i have family spread through out 2 different provinces and i have never heard of that happening anywhere in our villages.

pakhtuns, from what i know, do ask for the consent of their daughters and due to pakhtun girls having a lot of hayah and sharam even the girl's silence and reluctance to protest the marriage is considered her acceptance.

also, once an engagement occurs breaking it off is strictly discouraged in pakhtun society. it is like a social death for the parties involved.

[Baygham]

thats total non sense and exageration


Pukhtane do Islamic nekah and i dont know about force marriages and selling daughters,maybe in your family.never heard of such non sense.

actually it is quite endemic.

[BarakzaiAbdali]

actually it is quite endemic.

I think we may actually agree on something. I am sure all of us here have some tragic story. Just the other day we had news of a girl from our village, in our Barakzaay area, being married to an older man. She went back to her mothers home and her parents decided to ease her back to him gently. The husband became upset, went to the home, asked her to leave with him. She didn't, he pulled out his pistol and shot her right through the head. The death was tragic... however, on a positive justice enforcement note, our male relatives have raised a laskhaar and are hunting him down. So its ever so gently changing.. a generation ago parents would never have allowed the girl to come back home and the men would not have raised a lashkaar to hunt down a killer of a female family member.

Remember, with nonintervention and time, a society autocorrects.

[graveyardofempires]

I think we may actually agree on something. I am sure all of us here have some tragic story. Just the other day we had news of a girl from our village, in our Barakzaay area, being married to an older man. She went back to her mothers home and her parents decided to ease her back to him gently. The husband became upset, went to the home, asked her to leave with him. She didn't, he pulled out his pistol and shot her right through the head. The death was tragic... however, on a positive justice enforcement note, our male relatives have raised a laskhaar and are hunting him down. So its ever so gently changing.. a generation ago parents would never have allowed the girl to come back home and the men would not have raised a lashkaar to hunt down a killer of a female family member.

Remember, with nonintervention and time, a society autocorrects.

thats the point
social problems should be dealt with
next time they wont marry their young daughters to some old men.

[qunduz92]

I think we may actually agree on something. I am sure all of us here have some tragic story. Just the other day we had news of a girl from our village, in our Barakzaay area, being married to an older man. She went back to her mothers home and her parents decided to ease her back to him gently. The husband became upset, went to the home, asked her to leave with him. She didn't, he pulled out his pistol and shot her right through the head. The death was tragic... however, on a positive justice enforcement note, our male relatives have raised a laskhaar and are hunting him down. So its ever so gently changing.. a generation ago parents would never have allowed the girl to come back home and the men would not have raised a lashkaar to hunt down a killer of a female family member.

Remember, with nonintervention and time, a society autocorrects.

with all due respect, i kind of feel bad for him too. in pakhto, it is humiliating for your wife to simply take off and leave, lol. people in the community would start giving him peighor and calling him things like dawoos.

islam didn't give her a right to just leave him without a reason or a divorce. in fact, she would have earned Allah (swt)'s wrath.
surprsingly, in the cases i have heard of on the news similar to this, the girl usually happened to have her eyes on another guy, hence tempers erupt and the end result is that crimes are committed on the spur of the moment.