Why do girls get so mad when you tell them they are fat?

[Laila]

Its a mean thing to say. I mean i would hate it if someone calls me fat, i would feel really hurt by it.

[Roshina]

why?
what's wrong with being fat?

Depends on what people consider fat. I have friends who weigh hardly a few more pounds than I do, and they think they're fat! And I wanna KILL them for disrespecting themselves like that.

What do they want -- to be thin with protruding bones and ribs? Well, that's not pretty, if they think that's being pretty.

Moderation is good. It's not good to be too fat, sure, but being too skinny is very unhealthy. You won't BELIEVE the kinds of things these silly girls will do to get "skinny" :S It's really hurtful to see.

So, why do girls not like being called fat?
Because society has made them believe that fat girls = ugly, skinny girl = beautiful. It's one of the ways I believe women are oppressed and exploited. Who cares if a man is fat, right? You don't see weight-loss tips shoved down men's throats, now, do ya? No, of course not; it's just girls who need to be un-fat and skinny and thin and "beautiful."

We can help abolish this mode of thinking by teaching girls the importance of being healthy and the harms of being too skinny. Don't be "skinny" because people LIKE you as skinny; lose all that fat in you because it's unhealthy to have too much fat. Some fat is necessary for the body. Set your own standard weight for yourself, and make every effort not to pass it to the left or right.

Still, if a man wants to tell a woman she's fat, he should do it in a more nicer way. Or not tell her at ALL but just encourage her to eat healthy foods instead of telling her she's fat.

why is this? Insecurity?

Insecurity it is, Shlombay, insecurity, indeed.

[pukhtana]

Its a mean thing to say. I mean i would hate it if someone calls me fat, i would feel really hurt by it.

Why?
Elaborate khor.

[Laila]

Okay if you are fat, would you like it if someone comes up to you and says 'You are fat'....i mean you know it, but dont appreciate hearing it.

I mean i am not fat, but if someone thought i looked fat or something, i wouldnt like it. Same if someone came up to me and said 'You are super skinny' i wouldnt like that either. Actually more than anything, i would honestly give them a big smile, give them the finger, and just walk away. I know i am not fat or skinny. Their judgement shouldnt bother me.

The best thing to do, is keep things like that to yourself. Sometimes it may be an innocent thing to say, but it can hurt someones feelings.

Yeah and a lot of it has to do with low self confidence, self esteem, etc. Not everyone is perfect, people have flaws. Its just that people havent learned to embrace it. Take the media for example. Girls look at actresses, models, singers and wonder why dont i look like her, how come i dont have toned body, why dont i have those cheek bones, blah blah blah. Its annoying, but its out there to see.

My sister looks at magazines all day. And she always says i dont like my nose, its too small. And she is 14 so she is starting to worry about her appearance. One day, a boy in her class came up to her and said she is too tall and these other things, and it hurt her. And i tell her everyday, dont worry about it, your fine. But i do appreciate when people keep their comments to themselves....

[Laila]

^^Awww so you wouldnt care if i was fat?

[Roshina]

^^Awww so you wouldnt care if i was fat?

I woudln't! Not at all!

See, there are two kinds of people in this world: those who should matter to you and those who should not matter to you. So you should have a select group of people whom you love and respect highly. Let THEIR opinions and judgments count. People who don't matter, why care what they think of you -- whether it's your thoughts, your looks, your weight, your complexion, whatever it be. Worry what the *people who matter to you* think of you because those people will never try to harm you, they will not just WANT the best for you but guide you through getting the best for yourself, and they'll have kind and nice ways of telling you what they think. They won't/don't say things like, "You're too fat; lose some weight, girl!" or "You're too skinny; I can see your bones!" or "you're really dark-skinned; you should wear make up - it'd look good on you!"

Such people should not matter to us.

[tor_khan]

Depends on what people consider fat. I have friends who weigh hardly a few more pounds than I do, and they think they're fat! And I wanna KILL them for disrespecting themselves like that.
...

Mostly it is sad that ideas of an ideal body type come from the media.

Of course, we all find 20something fat-free bodies, designer clothes and long silky hair attractive. But it's all relative. Cosmetic surgery and mega-dieting doesn't stop the inevitable.

What is right that we take care of ourselves, but here again, we shouldn't let the media dictate.

People brought up in a culture of media-driven plastic McBurgers are now being told to (by the media) to have Five a Day. Where did that come from - and why now? Governments and business use mass media to try and shape human eating habits, and with success, I might add.

I just find it sad that many are driven to a lifetime of eating salads because they've heard the horror stories of people who gorge themselves on McBurgers. Neither is right - and our attitude to food and exercise has been warped by the media and modern living.

Take the homeland - with exceptions, of course - how many grossly overweight/mishapen people do we know? Very few, I think, and although it's a tough life in the villages, traditionally people ate what they grew and took plenty of walks to the guddar to fetch water. There isn't the same pressure to have Hollywood/Bollywood bodies and style.

Similarly, rough-skinned cavemen may have died young, but they got plenty of winter exercise running around with spears trying to hunt mammoths and before the advent of supermarket shopping, spent their springs and summers picking wild juicy berries and hallucegnic mushrooms.

Perhaps it doesn't hurt to cast back a thought into the way our ancestors lived.

[Laila]

Very good post Tor Khan.

I think people follow models.


Back in the days girls with small feet were liked.

every girl wanted small feet.

ohhh nice, i have small feet

[Master Khan]

We Pashtun men don't care.
as long as you are normal size and good person then you are alright.

[IamDZJ]

when i grow up i will make real pashto movies. there would be no fat women or any type of onscreen dancing in it. or skin exposure.

[Roshina]

We Pashtun men don't care.
as long as you are normal size and good person then you are alright.

It's exactly that "normal size" you speak of that bothers many women, Master Khan wrora So when you say "We Pashtun men don't care ..." and then add "as long as you're normal size" to it, that says a LOT! Because, as Tor Khan said, guess who defines normal size... that's right! Models, celebrities, movies/dramas/films, the media.

And so that's when it becomes tough for some women.

[Master Khan]

It's exactly that "normal size" you speak of that bothers many women, Master Khan wrora So when you say "We Pashtun men don't care ..." and then add "as long as you're normal size" to it, that says a LOT! Because, as Tor Khan said, guess who defines normal size... that's right! Models, celebrities, movies/dramas/films, the media.

And so that's when it becomes tough for some women.

I don't care if you are fit and strong blah blah.
I like women who kind and beautiful..and we pashtun men like thick womens you know.

[tor_khan]

I don't care if you are fit and strong blah blah.
I like women who kind and beautiful..and we pashtun men like thick womens you know.

What do you mean Master Khana?

Thick as in head?
or
Thick as in body? (Like Dawn French)

[Roshina]

I don't care if you are fit and strong blah blah.
I like women who kind and beautiful..and we pashtun men like thick womens you know.

Beautiful? :D Beautiful in what sense? Beautiful and not ugly? What's "beautiful"? 'cause to some people, beautiful = being skinny :O

Know what I mean?

[Master Khan]

What do you mean Master Khana?

Thick as in head?
or
Thick as in body? (Like Dawn French)

Noo thats too thick lol.

Beautiful? :D Beautiful in what sense? Beautiful and not ugly? What's "beautiful"? 'cause to some people, beautiful = being skinny :O

Know what I mean?

Waley masara so wadoo kay??

Beautiful laka khasta chi eh.
Kho laka chi deera thick um ni..laka chi medium chi eh..