Men and Women in Islam

[spogmai shaglay]

Qrrtugai,,,,, i would like to read the entire verse that u have mentioned above.... is there some more to it... if u can send it to me...
on the contrary this is what i have read .... i have highlighted things in bold.... do reflect on it as well...

The Social Aspect
As a Wife
1. Marriage in Islam is based on mutual peace, love, and compassion, not just the
satisfaction of man's needs:
And among His Signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may well in tranquillity with them and He has put live and mercy between your
(hearts); verily in that are signs for those who reflect. (Qur'an 30:21)
(He is) the Creator of the heavens and the earth: He has made for you pairs from among yourselves and pairs among cattle: by this means does He multiply you: there is nothing whatever like unto Him and He is the One that hears and sees (all things). (Qur'an
42:11)

2. The female has the right to accept or reject marriage proposals. Her consent is
prerequisite to the validity of the marital contract according to the Prophet's teaching.
It follows that if by "arranged marriage" is meant marrying the girl without her
consent, then such a marriage is nullifiable is she so wished.

"Ibn Abbas reported that a girl came to the Messenger of God, Muhammad, and she
reported that her father had forced her to marry without her consent. The Messenger of
God gave her the choice ... (between accepting the marriage or invalidating it)."
(Ahmad, Hadeeth no. 2469). In another version, the girl said: "Actually I accept this
marriage but I wanted to let women know that parents have no right to force a husband
on them." [Ibn Majah]

3. The husband is responsible for the maintenance, protection, and overall headship of
the family (qiwamah) within the framework of consultation and kindness. The mutual
dependency and complementary of the roles of males and females does not mean
"subservience" by either party to the other. Prophet Muhammad helped in household
chores in spite of his busy schedule.

The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years if the father desires
to complete the term. But he shall bear the cost of their food and clothing on equitable
terms. No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. No mother shall
be treated unfairly on account of her child nor father on account of his child. An heir
shall be chargeable in the same way if they both decide on weaning by mutual consent and after due consultation there is no blame on them. If you decide on a foster-mother for your offspring there is no blame on you provided you pay (the mother) what you offered on equitable terms. But fear Allah and know that Allah sees well what you do.
(Qur'an 2:233)

The Qur'an urges husbands to be kind and considerate to heir wives even if they do not like them.
O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should
you treat them with harshness that you may take away part of the marital gift you have given them except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings about though it a great deal of good. (Qur'an
4:19)
Prophet Muhammad taught:
" I command you to be kind to women ..."
"The best of you is the best to his family (wife) ..."

Marital disputes are to be handled privately between the parties whenever possible,
in steps (without excesses or cruelty). If disputes are not resolved then family mediation can be resorted to.

Divorce is seen as the last resort, which is permissible but not encouraged. Under no
circumstances does the Qur'an encourage, allow or condone family violence or physical abuse and cruelty. The maximum allowed in extreme cases is a gentle tap that does not even leave a mark on the body while saving the marriage from collapsing.

5. Forms of marriage dissolution include mutual agreement, the husband's initiative, the wife's initiative (if part of her marital contract, court decision on the wife's initiative
(for a cause), and the wife's initiative without a "cause" provided that she returns the
marital gift to her husband (khul' [divestiture]).

6. Priority for custody of young children (up to the age of about seven) is given to the mother. A child later chooses between his mother and father (for custody purposes).
Custody questions are to be settled in a manner that balances the interests of both
parents and well-being of the child

[spogmai shaglay]

3. Both genders are dignified and are trustees of Allah on earth.
We have honored the children of Adam, provided them with transport on land and sea;
given them for sustenance things good and pure; and conferred on them special favors above a great part of Our Creation. (Qur'an 17:70)

Behold your Lord said to the angels: "I will create a vicegerent on earth." They said
"Will you place therein one who will make mischief therein and shed blood? Whilst we
do celebrate Your praises and glorify Your holy (name)?" He said: "I know what you
do not." (Qur'an 2:30)

[spogmai shaglay]

4. According to the Qur'an, woman is not blamed for the "fall of man."
Pregnancy and childbirth are not seen as punishments for "eating from the forbidden tree."
On the contrary, the Qur'an considers them to be grounds for love and respect due to mothers.

In narrating the story of Adam and Eve, the Qur'an frequently refers to both of
them, never singling out Eve for the blame:
O Adam! Dwell you and your wife in the garden and enjoy (its good things) as you
[both] wish: but approach not this tree or you [both] run into harm and transgression.
Then began Satan to whisper suggestions to them bringing openly before their minds all their shame that was hidden from them (before): he said "Your Lord only forbade youthis tree lest you [both] should become angels or such beings as live forever." And he swore to them both that he was their sincere adviser. So by deceit he brought about their fall: when they tasted of the tree their shame became manifest to them and they began to sew together the leaves of the garden over their bodies. And their Lord called unto them: "Did I not forbid you that tree and tell you that Satan was an avowed enemy unto you?" They said: "Our Lord! We have wronged our own souls: if you forgive us not and bestow not upon us Your mercy we shall certainly be lost." (Allah) said: "Get you [both] down with enmity between yourselves. On earth will be your dwelling-place and your means of livelihood for a time." He said: "Therein shall you [both] live and therein shall you [both] die; and from it shall you [both] be taken out (at last)." O you children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover your shame as well as
to be an adornment to you but the raiment of righteousness that is the best. Such are among the signs of Allah that they may receive admonition! O you children of Adam! Let not Satan seduce you in the same manner as he got your parents out of the garden stripping them of their raiment to expose their shame: for he and his tribe watch you from a position where you cannot see them: We made the evil ones friends (only) to those without faith. (Qur'an 7:19-27)

On the question of pregnancy and childbirth, the Qur'an states:

And We have enjoined on the person (to be good) to his/her parents: in travail upon
travail did his/her mother bear his/her and in years twain was his/her weaning: (hear
the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: to Me is (your final) Goal.
(Qur'an 31:14)

We have enjoined on the person kindness to his/her parents: in pain did his/her mother bear him/her and in paid did she give him/her birth. The carrying of the (child) to his/her weaning is ( a period of) thirty months. At length when he/she reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years he/she says "O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon both my parents and that I may work righteousness such as You may approve; and be gracious to me in my issue.Truly have I turned to You and truly do I bow (to You) in Islam
[submission]." (Qur'an 46:15)

[spogmai shaglay]

5. Men and women have the same religious and moral duties and responsibilities.

They both face the consequences of their deeds:
And their Lord has accepted of them and answered them: "Never will I suffer to be los the work of any of you be it male or female: you are members of one another ..." (Qur'an 3:195)

If any do deeds of righteousness be they male or female and have faith they will enter paradise and not the least injustice will be done to them. (Qur'an 4:124)

For Muslim men and women and for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward. (Qur'an 33:35)

One Day shall you see the believing men and the believing women how their Light runs forward before them and by their right hands: (their greeting will be): "Good news for you this Day! Gardens beneath which flow rivers! To dwell therein for ever! This is indeed the highest Achievement!" (Qur'an 57:12)