Treason in Friendship

[MostafaM]

Well first of all if you were really a friend , you wouldn't be talking about him openly here.

Secondly, passing messages from a girl to a guy is not only symbolic of a waste of time but also something that only females do . Nowadays the trend is that not only do men talk like females they also gossip and partake in other useless

Don't listen to the busy bees

I didn´t tell any names nor people who were involved.

She asked me to do it. I wasn´t comfortable with it nor had I ever talked to her before. She said she is not allowed to contact the guy by her own.

And I don´t consider him a friend anymore.

[یاسمینه]

Sounds good.

Taking the blame and moving on.

That´s what I will do.

But it frustrates me that people always take advantage of that.

And another point is:
the person who spreads someting first will get more attention and more people will believe him.

Mostafa.... pffff you are an adult man so don't give a s about them. It's how someone like you should deal with the situation.

[MostafaM]

Haha

True again.

[Friend]

Anybody who doesnt trust you, or falls for a lie without confirming it with you first, was a plastic friend to begin with. Good riddance if you ask me.

Id ask the girl to reach out to those in question, or just avoid all those dramabaaz as a whole.

I didn't believe in that because I had never come across such people in my life but for the last 1 year I have seen people really acting and showing off and dramabaz. This was the other aspect of the people's lives that I did not know before.

[torkham]

Now in your situation you should not discuss any matter where these two people are involved in the same discussion.
If some one raises the issue, your response should be you know nothing. By talking about them you are implication your self. If you do then you are gossiping, ie talking about one or other or both behind their back about a matter that is not public knowledge,when they are not in position to defend themselves.

[Hakim Khan Urgonai]

Salam,

it´s an important topic for me right now because I make these experiences right now:

a friend of mine was talking to a girl to get to know her better.
Seems like she declined to get to know him after he went khastgari for her once.

She told me to let him know what was going on. He thinks that I was communicating with her all along and flirted with her to oust him.

Now he is talking bull**** to all my friends behind my back, that I cheat on girls, hack people´s accounts, denounce friends and stuff like that.

Since I know that he has a certain level of mental issues, what should I do?

My other friends are confused, too.......

It´s an awkward situation.

Walaikum salaam

You have many options here, depends on what you want to do.

1) Talk with the guy if you want to stay friends, but as someone here said, you don't need friends like that but then again, people are always useful.

2) Seek badal. At your own risk, of course.

3) Talk with the guy to find a solution to your problems. End your friendship if you choose.

4) Cut him off.

Do whichever one you feel is right.

[IamDZJ]

the reason people don't mingle in to other people's personal matters is simply because doing so creats misunderstandings. If she or her family had rejected his proposal, they didn't have to let the rest of the community know. The matter concerned the two of them, not you. If there is notjing going on between the two of you then why did you choose to speak on her behalf?? Its pretty obvious that he is hurt by his friend as well as the girl he liked. He might be reacting to it in a childish manner but the two of you were not very considerate of his feelings either.
If everyone knows how he is then you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. He seems to have confidence issues rather than mental ones and it's a friend's place to help another built trust rather than backstabbing them in front of strangers by talking about his mentalness.

[MostafaM]

the reason people don't mingle in to other people's personal matters is simply because doing so creats misunderstandings. If she or her family had rejected his proposal, they didn't have to let the rest of the community know. The matter concerned the two of them, not you. If there is notjing going on between the two of you then why did you choose to speak on her behalf?? Its pretty obvious that he is hurt by his friend as well as the girl he liked. He might be reacting to it in a childish manner but the two of you were not very considerate of his feelings either.
If everyone knows how he is then you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. He seems to have confidence issues rather than mental ones and it's a friend's place to help another built trust rather than backstabbing them in front of strangers by talking about his mentalness.

I don´t know the girl in real life. I knew her sister.
She wrote me via FB that I should tell my friend what was going on because he was waiting for an answer for weeks.

I didn´t speak on her behalf or anything, I just sent her message to my friend because she wasn´t allowed to talk to him.

The friendship is over now for weeks.
This all thing happaned two months ago. He had started a smear-campaign against me and my family and still going on with messaging people and telling stuff about me.

I don´t think I am morally bound to any kind of friendship when a person even talks bad about my Dad and stuff.
And I haven´t wrote any names, places or times. This is an anonymous story about a "friend" and can be seen as a chance for others to react the right way when being confronted by such an incident.