To marry in Afghanistan?

[BarakzaiAbdali]

Sorry, probably, it was not appropriate posting this thread...

I told the gentleman why are you presuming you would be rejected...

Anyhow, in Pukhtunkhwa side, it has become very simple---If you are an educated person from a good family (respected socially) preferrably employed, someone is going to find you out (girl family interested in you may make indirect offer through relatives usually women)---Alterantively, if you are a good nice girl preferrably educated now a days, there would be droves of good families seeking you out for their boys---The approach is direct to the immediate parents although consent of uncles etc. is also sought (considered good)...

Don't know may be I am making it too simplistic...but this is what is my observation...

In Pukhtunkhwa, I don't think they say "no" outrightly---when approached the first time, they say, "we'll think about it" and "give us some time" ---"monga ba thaso tha jawab darko chai khplao kai moslath okoo" etc. etc. etc. ultimately, after collecting info about you and liking you, they may tell you "rashai..." otherwise they'll send a regret message saying "yara thaso dair kha khalak yayai, zamong khwakh yayai, kho da mashoma mo bal cha tha waila da,---aow ya oos sabak wayi, sabak chai pora ki no bya ba yai da wada soch kawooo" ...

Anyhow, these are complicated matters----

Good, you're finally getting married. Something to cause you to calm down and cool your jets a little.

[Khyber Pass]

Whatever happens, Afghans will never kick their guests out of their house.

[Michin Khel]

Ma khyal che toramana jaan ta naawa ghwarri. daghase jaan basay ka , tao ba de uzi.

[Afghanistan2010]

According to DaZahrojam, "You are rejected five times" LOL.
I think its better to marry in your own people. You can't trust on anyone you don't know.

Its just what has come out of her its not the reality...you should go to the people who have love for Allah and his messenger (pbuh) and practice islam.

[IamDZJ]

Its just what has come out of her its not the reality...you should go to the people who have love for Allah and his messenger (pbuh) and practice islam.

don't make me say something that we would both regret later. Learn how to speak. Maybe in your household it happens the first time or second time. Everywhere else in Afghanistan no one gets to have someone's hand in marriage the first second or third time asked.

[Soldat_Amir]

how does that make sence? all the pashtuns i know have immense pride even if they are dying of starvation they wont ever beg for food let alone a woman or people that are rejecting him, and whats worse the afghan guys go bak upto 5 times after getting dissed. why all the games. seems propa backwards.

No offence mate, there are plenty of Pashtuns who are begging on the streets of Islamabad, especially those who had their legs blown off by mines, and you can see them on the roads near trafic jams. I know its sad, but its a reality we as Pashtuns need to address and help our people who are suffering in poverty.

[Afghanistan2010]

don't make me say something that we would both regret later. Learn how to speak. Maybe in your household it happens the first time or second time. Everywhere else in Afghanistan no one gets to have someone's hand in marriage the first second or third time asked.

Dont get emotional okay,

you really exaggerated about five times it could happen but this is worst case scenario,we tribal people from eastern afghanistan and our brother tribes from wazir and mehsud are really different.We marry not to close not to far but always among our tribes...to strenghten ties and suchs.

[IamDZJ]

Dont get emotional okay,

you really exaggerated about five times it could happen but this is worst case scenario,we tribal people from eastern afghanistan and our brother tribes from wazir and mehsud are really different.We marry not to close not to far but always among our tribes...to strenghten ties and suchs.

Well idiot, had you explained it that way earlier, it would have made alot more sense. Because you guys get married in within your tribes only, chances are that the process is shorter due to the fact that everyone already knows everyone else. For the rest of us five is a small number. No one feels "dissed" or disrespected since every parent has to go through the same thing with their daughter. No one expects a yes for the first three times and no one takes a rejection seriously until they have tried at least four or five times.*
And smartass, next tome you hear someone explain something different than you are used to seeing, assume that there is a possibility of people not going according to the great book of rules that your great grandfather left behind instead of assuming everyone speaks from where you are used o speaking from. *That people might have their own ways of living and traditions. It would make you seem less of the idiot than you probably are.*

[Afghanistan2010]

again you are too emotional , calm down

it is said :

the one who fears to be idiot calls other idiot...

[IamDZJ]

You don't mean anything to me so your words are useless. Call me whatever you want. See if I care.*

[Afghanistan2010]

You don't mean anything to me so your words are useless. Call me whatever you want. See if I care.*

i dont care...on cyber people.

[emkhan]

Sorry, probably, it was not appropriate posting this thread...

I told the gentleman why are you presuming you would be rejected...

Anyhow, in Pukhtunkhwa side, it has become very simple---If you are an educated person from a good family (respected socially) preferrably employed, someone is going to find you out (girl family interested in you may make indirect offer through relatives usually women)---Alterantively, if you are a good nice girl preferrably educated now a days, there would be droves of good families seeking you out for their boys---The approach is direct to the immediate parents although consent of uncles etc. is also sought (considered good)...

Don't know may be I am making it too simplistic...but this is what is my observation...

In Pukhtunkhwa, I don't think they say "no" outrightly---when approached the first time, they say, "we'll think about it" and "give us some time" ---"monga ba thaso tha jawab darko chai khplao kai moslath okoo" etc. etc. etc. ultimately, after collecting info about you and liking you, they may tell you "rashai..." otherwise they'll send a regret message saying "yara thaso dair kha khalak yayai, zamong khwakh yayai, kho da mashoma mo bal cha tha waila da,---aow ya oos sabak wayi, sabak chai pora ki no bya ba yai da wada soch kawooo" ...

Anyhow, these are complicated matters----

der wraan ye. da har sa na ta khabar ye.

[Toramana]

Ma khyal che toramana jaan ta naawa ghwarri. daghase jaan basay ka , tao ba de uzi.

haha---yara dair taojan bunyadam yai, pa dai am wa swazaidai chai ma da wada khabara waka....

[Toramana]

Good, you're finally getting married. Something to cause you to calm down and cool your jets a little.

hahaha, you are mistaken...wrong guess...

[Toramana]

DZJ, it may be understandale in the particular social environment but doesn't it (5 times) make the process too lengthy and kind of enervating? If it were me, I'll lose interest after first two attempts---