do you think it's because you want something that the world can not afford? even not knowing what you want falls in to that category? i think being this way creates chaos in your life which just takes away the possibility of normalcy from you. being normal scares you because you can not relate to it. there isn't anything in the releam of normal which you could want. at least this way you could have your dark world. you probably think it's a passionate world of tormented souls.
we go through different levels of hell only to find out that we just want to be left the **** alone at the end. humanity takes a circle...and then you learn to accept it and just wait to die. "