Lets say you are getting married to someone...

[Khushal Khan Khattak]

before we begin.........

I'm not clear on your question, do you mean after the marriage or before it!!

[Zari]

beforeeeee marriage...i would be wayyyyy to shy to say anyfin..and after marriage i would stilllll be wayyyy to shy to say anyfin..:P

[Khushal Khan Khattak]

Do you like to talk on the phone or the net?

(should be the 1st Q)

[Khushal Khan Khattak]

^ that would begin the whole conversation thingy........

then you could move on to likes and dislikes

[Zari]

lol.....i agree with ya...

but what if he thought u were being to forward??

[Khushal Khan Khattak]

Qrratugai, if you ask that many questions the first time you meet a guy, He will run away to Alaska.

ha ha ha........

true dat.

though she's a good and kind gal and I hope she wont mind our jokes

[Mr.Patience]

There are four basic categories of questions and this is supported by hadiths so it isn't just my brilliance .
1. Ask if they value islam and let them give examples. if they are smart they would start with prayer as Allah will ask for prayer first. And remember no one is perfect starting with me.
2. Ask about family, background, siblings, what everyone does, education level, islam, etc.
3. Education, make sure they meet your requirements. Yes, this is important to me as I feel a my future wifey should be well educated to make a difference for the family, future kids, and to be my best friend to discuss everything with and not just have kids.
4. Looks, everyone may have differences on what they value in terms of looks.
These four categories complete a person. Remember islam also has very important behavior categories such as honesty, respect, PATIENCE, and yeh us afghans for sure need to work on that .

ALL THIS BEING SAID, I AM SINGLE AND WELL ROUNDED INSHA ALLAH SO IF SOMEONE IS SIMILAR AND HAS MUCH OF THE 4 THINGS, LET ME KNOW. We have to make effort and Allah controls the results.

[Pakhtunzai]

Pretty much what mr patience wrora has said..

Someone whos decent in islam and at least practising, if they are decent hearted and good people then why not. If someones educated quite well and has a good understanding about everything then why not and of course the age difference shouldnt be too great, i would say the general 5 years older or younger is really good because anyone older or younger than that..it would most likely cause problems for the couple because age limit is too great..

Like my mom n dad have 2 years difference, both sides grandparents also have a couple of years difference. 1 of my cousins married a woman 5 years older than him and masha allah they are getting on so well but those marriages i've seen with great age difference have mostly ended up splitting apart unfortunately. There is this one couple i know where there is 19 YEARS difference..i've spoken to the guy and he says oh i used to pick up my wife when she was a baby(they were first cousins) and that is SICK!! I would never imagine getting married to a person that young.

Qrratugai khorr, daymm you have a massive specification, thats enough interrogation to send someone scared for a lifetime!! Naah only joking lol, thats good i respect that khor=D

[Mayana]

The things I need to know about a man before considering marriage involve the following:

- His values: How he weighs Islam & Culture/Traditions
- What his goals and aspirations are in life; where he sees himself in 5/10/20 years.
- What rights and responsibilities man and woman have in a relationship from his point of view
- What he is willing to compromise and what he won't compromise
- In what kind of a setting he wants to raise his children
- This may sound really stupid but I need to know why he has chosen me - I have to know what expectations and opinions he has of me in order for me to know if I can live up to his expectations.. or if it is all just a big misunderstanding that will end in a disaster because he takes me for something that I am not / cannot be.


But yeah, it is going to be difficult to find these things out.. you could either ask questions - or you can make them talk by asking something indirectly. I'm thinking of asking him one thing..: "If I offered you a pencil, gum or a water bottle, what would you choose and why?". That should start a good conversation.. and then you just go with the flow.

[Mayana]

I don't know =/ I don't have any experience haha, so far I've only said "No no I'm not getting married!"

[Mayana]

LOOL!!

Nah.. I just know what I want to know :P

[Mayana]

Jasmine.

I am a pro at this,

Just joke around and ask those questions in a laughing way. We guys fall for it.

Mrra swalam!! Da Marako Bazi di ham khosha da??

[Mayana]

Hmmmm..
Having so much experience in this field and still being single is.. uhh.. not good.. at all.. because it means you're doing something wrong... awo ?
:P

[Pakhtunzai]

Another main thing is their sense of ambitions, i would prefer someone whos very forward thinking and to help develop the future...Wouldnt want anyone whos backward thinking as this could lead to negative things within the marriage...can work for both parties kana..

[Roshina]

Qrratugai, if you ask that many questions the first time you meet a guy, He will run away to Alaska.

LOL! Naaa, these aren't first-time questions, mara, lol. Only a few of them are. You wanna have a normal conversation on the first meeting. In-depth discussions/conversations should be postponed for later meetings, once you've observed that she/he can handle a discussion to begin with.