Going back to your origin?

[Pakhtunzai]

Prior to the "marriage to non-pashtuns" thread i have observed that all pakhtuns dont accept any non-pakhtuns which is good but...what of those who are pakhtun blooded(paternally) and mixed with others...and they wanted to go back to their pakhtun origins e.g marrying a pakhtun, learning pakhto and pakhtunwali again...and does that still make them pakhtun or non-pakhtuns...would you consider the marriage proposal acceptable or dismiss it completely..

[Khushal Khan Khattak]

Prior to the "marriage to non-pashtuns" thread i have observed that all pakhtuns dont accept any non-pakhtuns which is good but...what of those who are pakhtun blooded(paternally) and mixed with others...and they wanted to go back to their pakhtun origins e.g marrying a pakhtun, learning pakhto and pakhtunwali again...and does that still make them pakhtun or non-pakhtuns...would you consider the marriage proposal acceptable or dismiss it completely..

Well, there are three approaches to this:

1) Islamic:

As far Islam is concerned, race/ethnicity is not a factor, only being pious and mauttaqi is. The only concern when marriage is related is the fact that both the gal and the man be equal or kafo/kafw. Equal = in education, status and other things relevant to the parties included.

All other matters become irrelevant.

2) Our real world cultural:

For example in my family and village case, if a person were to marry a Non pushtun then this means bad for him/her since the family deems it like leaving your kin.

So if your father is a Pushtun your'e considered a Pushtun, if not then your'e a non Pushtun forever unless somehow marriage into a Pushtun family is once again achieved somehow.

Simply put, in my personal experience, the community does not take this well.

3) My opinion or finding common ground:

If your'e a Pushtun, marry only among your'e own community unless there is preference to this for example if someone is a good pious Muslim and Muttaqi and a non Pushtun.

If your'e father is a Pushtun, then you still are a Pushtun no matter what.

Though you'll have to spend years making friends and knowing your father's family well so you can easily come back to the fold as it were.

However if they are really good people they'll understand and so you wont have to go through all the trouble.

Never forget about your tribe, lineage, Pushto.

That is a huge loss since it is your identity.


Bottom-line:

The divide between Pushtun and non Pushtun is not an eternal constant.

In the past Pushtuns never married outside. Presently this has changed somewhat albeit a minority.

So if your'e father was a Pushtun, you speak Pushto and know about our ways, your'e one of us no matter what.

[Admin Khan]

Its all about what they consider themselves. There are many Pashtuns I have met, who don't have the slightest Pashtunwali in them, In fact they even badmouth Pashtuns. But I have also met Pashtuns, who are not Pashtun by blood, But arguably follow the culture and speak the language far better then most people you will ever meet. In fact, they will even defend the ethnic group.

So its all about the context and what the person thinks of our ethnic group. In my honest opinion, paternal or maternal probably plays a minor role in shaping the behaviour, but if psychologically the person is not fond of Pashtuns, nor has the slightest care towards the ethnic group, Then does blood really have do to with anything at all? Just because they are Pashtun you should marry them? A lot of things should be taken into consideration. Being born to a Pashtun mom or dad is not enough, At all.

Its all about who they are and who they are destined to become. Not who they are born from . At least in my opinion. As far as acceptances and expecations is concerned, more details of the family must be provided for the precise answer. The single most important thing is, If the Guy/Girl is happy with it. If the girl is happy with choosing a Non-Pashtun and she wants to adjust to his culture, she wants to learn his language, Not much can be said right? Double standards should not exist. If a Pashtun men can marry a Punjabi, A Pashtun women should also have that right on the table, If she desires it.

[Dinosaur Khan]

Pashtun society is very accomodative & absorbing.

But it also depend upon tribe or region e.g chances of a swati or khattak in accepting such marraige proposals are high then wazir, mehsud, afridi or shinwari.

[Son of Mountains]

Usually one's wife shares her langu n culture to her off-springs. Marrying a pashtun lady to get your langu n culture back into ur next generations in good to have an entery.

2nd way maybe to shift again into pashtoonkhwa keeping in view that u r doing so to get your langu n culture back.

[Pakhtunzai]

Guys thanks a lot for your feedback upon this..i'm what you call a third generation pakhtun well not even pakhtun any more lol..so we've been distant for quite a long while now..

[Pakhtunzai]

Usually one's wife shares her langu n culture to her off-springs. Marrying a pashtun lady to get your langu n culture back into ur next generations in good to have an entery.

Main worry is would one accept giving their daughter away to such a person etc..

[Zari]

my dad would never give me or moi sister away to a non pakhtoon....even the ones with mixed blood....

[inqilab]

I know a few waziri girls married to punjabis. Their families are more Islamic and less on pashtun culture. And they are 100% pashtun.

I give them respect for doing that.

[afghan]

I know a few waziri girls married to punjabis. Their families are more Islamic and less on pashtun culture. And they are 100% pashtun.

I give them respect for doing that.

you have a got a funny name . do you know what does mullh mean in pashtun society?

[Pakhtunzai]

Huh???
Why arent you Pukhtun?

My great grandfather fathers side was the last known full pakhtun in our family but mothers side are near enough the same family but her grandfather was mixed pakhtun and punjabi. So both are of pakhtun lineage and since then we've intermarried into punjabis, so we've forgotten pakhto and everything else to do with pakhtuns...Bloodwise im only quarter pakhtun loll. Because of the fact i dont know much pakhto or much of the culture and bloodwise doesnt that make me a non-pakhtun?

[Dinosaur Khan]

I know a few waziri girls married to punjabis. Their families are more Islamic and less on pashtun culture. And they are 100% pashtun.

I give them respect for doing that.

Why you specify wazirs? even when they are famous for not giving their girls to non-pashtuns.....they even do not marry often with other pashtun tribes....have u any problem with wazirs?

[inqilab]

Why you specify wazirs? even when they are famous for not giving their girls to non-pashtuns.....they even do not marry often with other pashtun tribes....have u any problem with wazirs?

You answered your own question zai. I mentioned waziris bc they are famous for not giving their girls to nonpashtuns. They do not even give them to other pashtuns.

But the ones i know. They married their girls to muslim punjabis. This is the greatness of Islam. Islam broke all the cultural barriers. And waziri women marrying punjabis because Islam is more important.

lol i said i give them respect for doing that. Not a problem.

[Dinosaur Khan]

^You are right, islamically it is right, but the westrenized wazirs or mehsuds do not represent proud wazirs of waziristan.

[MazloomyarMaseed]

I know a few waziri girls married to punjabis. Their families are more Islamic and less on pashtun culture. And they are 100% pashtun.

I give them respect for doing that.

Well this is very common about Wazirs, did you hear the story about the Wazir malik who gave his daughter to an Uzbek Militant, The girl ran back home telling her father, that everyday a New uzbek was my husband.

You like to bad Mouth Pashtun culture,this is why I thank god Iam born a Mahsud.