Low Faith in our People Sometimes

[Shamaar]

This is a true story, happened to my family. There is a Pashtun lady here who has a house cleaning business. A family friend recommended her and initially my mom took a liking to her too, so we hired her.

The lady is about 45 years old and used to complain a lot about her husband and in-laws saying her husband doesn't work and now he left her and her 3 daughters. Essentially, she'd say these things to get sympathy and stuff. Funny thing is, every time my mom called her there would be a man's voice in the background.

Later, the friend who had recommended her told us that one of her gold chains vanished. She searched her whole house for it and couldn't find it. She suspected the cleaning lady.

Now, we had this really nice tasbih of high sentimental value. My grandfather, who has passed on, brought it from Mecca and touched it on the Hijr-e-Aswad. He gave it to my dad who'd use it regularly and it used to be sitting in the family room with all the other tasbihs. It was made of haqeeq, a nice reddish/orange stone. I really liked that tasbih.

After she came to our place it went missing. My mom called her and the lady sounded very questionable about it. For one, if someone is wrongfully accused they generally get defensive, instead she started telling my mom duas to recite that would help her get it back.

We've searched our entire house inside and out and it's nowhere to be found. Plus, our other friends complaint weighs a lot in my opinion. I have a number of friends who are cops here and I think I am going to file a complaint against her.

This lady used to not just clean, but rummage through all our stuff. She'd take stuff from my siblings rooms and put it in mine, and vice versa. My mom could tell the lady had gone through each and every one of her personal drawers and cupboards, something she told the lady not to do.

I despise people like this who have no values of their own. One can't even trust our own people in matters like this at times and that really bugs me. But I'm also very unforgiving and cold in these circumstances so I am going to do whatever it takes to get to the bottom of this.

If anyone has encountered similar situations in the past, or even if you haven't, please advise on what can be done.

[unknownprince]

Shamaar,
I would not got to the local authorities especially if she is an immigrant. I would tell your mother to confront her. Maybe take her to a cafe, and explain the significance of the tasbih. Its better for your mother to do this privately, and assure that no stories will be spread. People who do this usually never want to admit it. Whatever you do, I would suggest you don't get the local authorities involved. Going to a local Imam would be better, as he could have a word with her, and she would be confident to tell him the truth (I would hope). If you do decide to go to the authorities, you will still not get your tasbih back. I am assuming she has a family, and they need all the financial support they can get. This is the reason why sometimes people steal. If your mother can afford to, maybe offer her a little financial help.

Its very difficult to make someone admit guilt. The Imam is the best person to go to.

[Feroza_Banu]

^are you sure this is the only reason people steal? because they are poor and need financial support?

I doubt it. i have seen people steal for pleasure... some steal because they have a habit of stealing.. some just do it for the heck of it, and some for greed!

I suggest you get to the bottom of this matter on your own before involving authorities in this... I don't know where u live but where i live police is not so effective in finding stolen goods... TRUST ME!... at the end u will end up empty handed... and you have no proof either... cops can't do much without proof.

as Unknownprince said, get someone else involved... local imaam is a good suggestion...

[Shamaar]

Shamaar,
I would not got to the local authorities especially if she is an immigrant. I would tell your mother to confront her. Maybe take her to a cafe, and explain the significance of the tasbih. Its better for your mother to do this privately, and assure that no stories will be spread. People who do this usually never want to admit it. Whatever you do, I would suggest you don't get the local authorities involved. Going to a local Imam would be better, as he could have a word with her, and she would be confident to tell him the truth (I would hope). If you do decide to go to the authorities, you will still not get your tasbih back. I am assuming she has a family, and they need all the financial support they can get. This is the reason why sometimes people steal. If your mother can afford to, maybe offer her a little financial help.

Its very difficult to make someone admit guilt. The Imam is the best person to go to.

I hear you bro, but I am seriously angry about this. As I mentioned, my mom already talked to her and when she mentioned the tasbih, the lady just paused. The kind of pause where you can tell the other person knows exactly what you are talking about. Then she proceeded to deny ever having seen it etc.

Man, I don't get Muslims here you know. They think paying taxes is somehow evil, even though these principles were all developed by Muslims, as they benefit everyone. People like this will steal from the government by being on welfare and stuff, and then work cash jobs like these for more money. They don't even make an effort to have a halal income.

I don't know if an Imam will honestly be able to resolve the issue. Usually, people get intimidated by police and stuff. Police can deter people from committing the same mistakes again too. It might only be a tasbih this time, what if next time she decides to take jewelry or money.

I will be happier if people know what kind of person she is and don't hire her, instead of her getting off easy and continuing her ways, you know what I mean?

[Shamaar]

^are you sure this is the only reason people steal? because they are poor and need financial support?

I doubt it. i have seen people steal for pleasure... some steal because they have a habit of stealing.. some just do it for the heck of it, and some for greed!

I suggest you get to the bottom of this matter on your own before involving authorities in this... I don't know where u live but where i live police is not so effective in finding stolen goods... TRUST ME!... at the end u will end up empty handed... and you have no proof either... cops can't do much without proof.

as Unknownprince said, get someone else involved... local imaam is a good suggestion...

Yeah, a lot of people just have the habit of seeing something they like and pocketing it. The local authorities I know are friends I've had for a long time. These 2 brothers are both full police officers. And I don't discriminate among people just because they are from my ethnicity or whatever. Islam doesn't teach to let our own go off easy.

When one of Salahuddin Ayubi's soldiers raped a local kaffir woman, he had the soldier beheaded. Bending the rules for our own is not an option for me in this case.

[Feroza_Banu]

^ no no ... i am not saying u should bend the rules... u should definitely get her punished for this if she is the one who has done it.

ALl i am saying ist hat u might have a better luck if u first find a solid proof. I am sure u know police officers but they can't do much without a proof. word of mouth is not a proof.

[Shamaar]

^ no no ... i am not saying u should bend the rules... u should definitely get her punished for this if she is the one who has done it.

ALl i am saying ist hat u might have a better luck if u first find a solid proof. I am sure u know police officers but they can't do much without a proof. word of mouth is not a proof.

Yeah, I see what you mean. My family's spent more than 30 hours looking for it now. Like, it's never left the house before, so if she didn't take it we should have found it by now. We have literally turned our house upside down looking for it. Sometimes you just feel like you have to find something.

I am going to do some digging around. I am usually good at finding complaints about people, heck I already have 1 couple who says she stole jewelry.

[Baygham]

Yeah, I see what you mean. My family's spent more than 30 hours looking for it now. Like, it's never left the house before, so if she didn't take it we should have found it by now. We have literally turned our house upside down looking for it. Sometimes you just feel like you have to find something.

I am going to do some digging around. I am usually good at finding complaints about people, heck I already have 1 couple who says she stole jewelry.

reminds me of my kleptomaniac brother, he used to do the same, take my stuff and throw it behind something, you would search and search and then curse yourself at your own stupidity once it was found in some unusual place, after a few such episodes the thing would get permanently lost. Offcourse he was the one throwing it around and then stealing it,

usually he would just give it away, he just did it to get even or feel good.

Your lady needs a good dose from the police, however they wont be able to help much as there is no real case that can be proven and they wont search her house. better take your loses and cut ties with her.

[Shamaar]

Have a face to face talk to her. Tell her it's ok if she took it but did she take it?

You know most of the servants in Afghanistan and Pakistan end up robbing all the women for gold. I've heard so many stories Shamaar.

Yeah, I guess we'll have to see if face to face is possible at this point. On the phone she started denying taking it and started swearing by Allah etc., but I've seen plenty of other liars do that to people's faces so I don't buy it.

I guess my mom will have to check with her if she is willing to meet up now that she knows we suspect her.

I can these things taking place often back home because many people are hand to mouth. If they feel like they might not have anything to eat that day, they'll be compelled to take some jewelry, sell it, and buy some food with the money.

But I don't feel that same situation can be applied here to families who have at least 4 people legally working, plus a father who is receiving welfare from the government, while working additional cash jobs.

If nothing comes out of this, I am still going to inform the police about her activities in general, and inform people I know about her, so it doesn't happen to others.

[Admin Khan]

Shamaar,

If I tell you how the Baluchi Massys in Karachi robbed one of my relatives, because they too[my relatives], were from the USA, you would be astonished. They had employed them, they paid them good money, and one day most of the gold in the entire household was missing. They took the gold; the massys were never to be seen again. This is a huge industry in Karachi. It’s funny because the way they exited was, they started cleaning the stairs, they took small steps at a time[coming downwards]and they just exited in a similar manner. They did not want to walk down the stairs because the gold would have made noise. Whats interesting was that they had someone waiting outside, so it was obviously planned. The family was all curious why they left so quickly, and a few a few hours, they found out Gold worth $50K was stolen. The reason why they hired them was because they claimed a similar story, husband left them in Baluchistan, they came to Karachi to find "nokreey" and she got the job. 6 months on the job, she made her moves.

Oh well, moral of the story? Don't get too comfortable with someone.

Good luck Shammy!

[IamDZJ]

if she is kind enough to tell your mom of special duas to get it back then chances are she is buying time so she can smuggle it back in to the house. in the other hand, if you are not happy with strangers going through your belongings, you do your dirty job yourself.
if you are an afghan, never work for another afghan and never hire an afghan to finish a job for you. same applies to every one else.
no matter what you do at this point, it's an ugly situation and will most likely persist on being one for a very long time. the best way to deal with it is to pretend you are stupid enough as to believe the power of the special dua will bring it back while she smuggles is back in other wise get rid of her before something else goes missing.

i used to lose phones alot and i always blamed it on my carelessness. one day i left work knowing very well that i forgot to pick up my phone from the desk so i called back since i couldn't turn around to pick it as it was pretty late and the only people in the building were the janitors. so one of them picked up and said they will look for my phone and give to me in the morning except i never got it because they never found it.
i assumed i had probably picked it up and dropped it in the parking lot somewhere until two years later one of the janitors tried to sell me my own phone for 95 dollars. i didn't say anything to him but God knows how angry i was that day.

[Shamaar]

It's amazing when you hear about other peoples stories of similar situations. You can't help but sympathize with their losses. But I can't give up on things... It's just my nature for some reason.

When I started high school (grade 9) my grandma gave me this old geometry kit that my dad's brother had used when he was younger. I loved that kit so much that I would keep it in my pencil case in school.

One day I forgot my pencil case at school in my desk and I realized it only when I got home. The next day I was horrified to find my geometry kit missing from my pencil case.

That was my homeroom, so mine was always the first class in that room. I went to the office and got the names of all the teachers who had classes there the day before. I contacted all of them and got the names of the people who sat in my seat.

Anyway, I was able to get my geometry kit back, but it took a lot of effort. Effort that I would put in all over again if I needed to.

I know this is a different circumstance, but after having checked the entire house through and through, multiple times, there is no doubt in my mind that the cleaning lady took it.

If I sound too cold hearted or cruel saying this then so be it. I am not going to give up on it. I'm going to make her life very, very uncomfortable until my dad's tasbih returned to us, and I mean that. There is a reason why a thief's hand is cut off when they steal something.

[kandahari ella]

You should hire her again. Act like nothing happened. And leave valuables in areas where she is cleaning or "looking through". And then have a hidden camera in that room. Catch her red-handed. Then say you'll report what you know to the police if the missing items are not returned. Show her the footage of being caught on camera. If she's the one that took the merchandise, she'll return them. If not, then its not her or she's not afraid. But having that footage on her will probably scare the crap out of her, especially if you're going to report it to authorities. In which case, she'll gladly return the tisbah to your house. And whatever else she may steal. It'll take time, I don't think she'll steal anything else right off the bat. But the minute you guys, portray that she couldn't have stolen anything, she'll be back up to her old tricks.

[Shamaar]

I am just like you Shamaar. Justice is what I believe in.

Yeah, exactly. We have to believe in justice or else society just disintegrates to lawlessness kana.

You should hire her again. Act like nothing happened. And leave valuables in areas where she is cleaning or "looking through". And then have a hidden camera in that room. Catch her red-handed. Then say you'll report what you know to the police if the missing items are not returned. Show her the footage of being caught on camera. If she's the one that took the merchandise, she'll return them. If not, then its not her or she's not afraid. But having that footage on her will probably scare the crap out of her, especially if you're going to report it to authorities. In which case, she'll gladly return the tisbah to your house. And whatever else she may steal. It'll take time, I don't think she'll steal anything else right off the bat. But the minute you guys, portray that she couldn't have stolen anything, she'll be back up to her old tricks.

Actually, I am seriously considering installing hidden camera's in various places in the house. Hopefully there is a system where we can turn them on and off on command so we can tape certain times that we need, and they're not running 24/7 for no reason.

[Shamaar]

^ I hear you, and she isn't working on a regular basis right now, just when my mom needs her. But the thing is before I get camera's or anything I am going to get the tasbih back. Worst comes to worst, I will have it stolen back. An eye for an eye lol j/k.