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When it comes to family/friends gatherings in your neck of the woods, is the workload (cooking, cleaning etc.) shared by everyone or the responsibility solely falls on the host?
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Its normally the host. -
It is normally the host ..... it is believed to be a great shame if the guest gets up to clean or wash the dishes or cook.... usually the guests offer to help but the host doesn't let the guest take part in any of it...Comment
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woor, Feroza_Banu, chino, Jasmine, Kandahary,
Guys, I can understand the guest part and melmestiya, but what about relatives, do they help out or join the guest crowed? Reason I have this thread up here is because everytime we have someone over they act so surprised when they see our family (all the relis) working/helping out together when we have gatherings for example this Akhtaar. The women do their part and cook, clean, prepare etc. and the guys do their part by serving and running around. The host is never left with a burden. Of course non-relis are treated with great hospitality, but family is expected to help out....no?Comment
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My relatives did not even let me step in the kitchen....once i was in the kitchen to help with the food, and someone literally commanded for me to sit in the living room.
They never even let me get my own cup or napkin. Nothing. Even they never let me sit on the rug, i had to sit on the tushak.
As far as here, no, i do all the work. I never let my guest to help, i want them to sit down in the living room at ease and enjoy my house....Its part of our culture.Last edited by Laila; 09-16-2010, 01:00 AM.Comment
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it really depends on who the guests are. i don't like sharing the kitchen and enjoy it alot when i am on my own while i work as it gives me a chance to focus on what i am doing as well as think about stuff..
if it's guests i don't know much of on a personal level than it's better they don't see me curse the plates and pots but if it is one of my favorite cousins then chances are, i have kicked them a few times to get moving already.
I am no bird, and no nest ensnares me.
non commercial would cost less if he was in charge himself which he plans on doing. right now it's n herat but soon it will be in qanadahar.
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of course not!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The amount of ghaibat that will occur is unexplainable.Comment
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You ladies are amazing. So not even your married sisters, or cousins are allowed to help out? That is something. Now I see why people react that way when they see my family. I guess the reason things are different in ours is because the family back home used to live in a joint house, and that's how things were back there and that's how they are when ever we get together.
I think that sort of melmestiya should extends to non-relis, but tabar is tabar. Personally I wouldn't treat them any different then my own direct family. I won't ask them but if they wish to I see no issue with it. I can see how some will view that as shameful, or beghairati, but koranai khalak koranai khalak de kana? I'd be a lil ticked off if they treated a family house like a hotel. lulz!Comment
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Wrayun,
It has a lot to do with gossiping as well. Since I noticed you are a big fan of dialogues, I will make one just for you.
[Scene 1: Marghalara just came from (insert family name here)and they put her to work![she helped out with melmastiya and she wasn't even related to them]
Marghalara:Mosh da plankay dey kara da melma pa stargo wlaro, hogho dey par mosh bandey da kor kaar wakey.
Spozhmey: Yuu,yuu! Da khuday roi wagora, par taso bandey da koor kar wakey?
Marghalara: woh wala, singa da afsoos khabara nada? Shorwa, gwashey, oh wreghey da tola shaano sara ma mrasta war sara wakrala.
Spozhmey: Yuu(Insert the name of the family that Marghalara had visited)paza hai ra prai krala.
Note:
The above are fictional characters.Even Adobe Photoshop can't change me.
A line[Durrand line] of hatred that raised a wall between the two brothers -Hamid Karzai
For generations, the Hindus of India prayed for deliverance from "the venom of the cobra, the teeth of the tiger and the vengeance of the Afghan."
The men of Kábul and Khilj also went home; and whenever they were questioned about the Musulmáns of the Kohistán (the mountains), and how matters stood there, they said, "Don't call it Kohistán, but Afghánistán; for there is nothing there but Afgháns and disturbances." Thus it is clear that for this reason the people of the country call their home in their own language Afghánistán, and themselves Afgháns. The people of India call them Patán; but the reason for this is not known. But it occurs to me, that when, under the rule of Muhammadan sovereigns, Musulmáns first came to the city of Patná, and dwelt there, the people of India (for that reason) called them Patáns—but God knows!
-Ferishta, 1560–1620Comment
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Originally posted by Admin Khan View Post
Menana Admin Khana, that was interesting. And you know what, even if Marghalara was related, she would still complain. I think she is one of those types you know.Comment
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Trust me, I know.
Even Adobe Photoshop can't change me.
A line[Durrand line] of hatred that raised a wall between the two brothers -Hamid Karzai
For generations, the Hindus of India prayed for deliverance from "the venom of the cobra, the teeth of the tiger and the vengeance of the Afghan."
The men of Kábul and Khilj also went home; and whenever they were questioned about the Musulmáns of the Kohistán (the mountains), and how matters stood there, they said, "Don't call it Kohistán, but Afghánistán; for there is nothing there but Afgháns and disturbances." Thus it is clear that for this reason the people of the country call their home in their own language Afghánistán, and themselves Afgháns. The people of India call them Patán; but the reason for this is not known. But it occurs to me, that when, under the rule of Muhammadan sovereigns, Musulmáns first came to the city of Patná, and dwelt there, the people of India (for that reason) called them Patáns—but God knows!
-Ferishta, 1560–1620Comment
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No, then the dialogue between Shojhmay and Marghalara would've gone like this:Originally posted by Wrayun View Post
Marghalara: Mosh da plankay dey kara da melma pa stargo wlaro, hogho dey par mosh bandey da kor kaar wakey.
Spozhmey: Yuu,yuu! Khod ba da Kor kar darbandi kawih, khpal Kor di day! Chi ta ye wanakeh, no bal ba ye tsok kawi?
Marghalara: woh magar der Kaar mi wakay, Shorwa, gwashey, oh wreghey da tola shaano sara ma mrasta war sara wakrala.
Spozhmey: Yuu der Peghor makawa, dagha di Uzifa da, Paza di ra preh krala!
But yeah, when I go to someone's house.. I can't really sit down and not do anything. I don't feel comfortable sitting there while others are serving us.
I have this habit of wanting to help people in every situation.. it gets embarrassing at times. So if it's some family that we are absolutely never in contact with and don't have anything to do with, I might sit there and not do anything, although I still will help clean up dishes and fight over washing the dishes.. But anyone else, family, family friends, friends family.. I will treat like my own house.
Last edited by Mayana; 09-16-2010, 01:27 AM.
Daa zma lewanay Zrra gorah, daa sta lewanee Mina..
Za ba da Sahra warnakam da Iran pa Golestan,
Dalta za yao & yakta yam, halta zar zma pa Shaan.
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This wasn't meant for females only, it's just that mostly female members responded.
ps, you took that seriously?Comment
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Sorry, misunderstanding. =/
My apologies.
Daa zma lewanay Zrra gorah, daa sta lewanee Mina..
Za ba da Sahra warnakam da Iran pa Golestan,
Dalta za yao & yakta yam, halta zar zma pa Shaan.
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Mayana, same here! I can't just sit still and be served either - feels SO uncomfortable!
But at my crib, no one works cept moi :DI desire that which is Just - House of Dukemina.Comment
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