Is cooking a requirement for a Pashtun Men?

[Master Khan]

Requirement my foot!!!

What kind of nonsense requirement is this? I cant cook at all but I can solve trigonometry, is that good enough? I am willing to learn cooking though.

If that is not good enough, I have 3 words for the guy, "TAKE A HIKE!"

my cousin at the age of 13 can cook..well back home lol.

[Feroza_Banu]

i love the comments made by guys here... u guys, ignorant much? a wife that is able to cook is certainly a plus but whats with comments like "its a woman's job to cook" ... we were not brought to this earth solely to cook!. get over urself please... every human and every individual has to learn how to take care of himself/herself... men and women... everyone should be capable to meeting their own basic needs.

having said that... when two inviduals come together in a relationship and form a family they both should care about their family and their partner to take up any role or position in the relationship when needed. no one is anyone else's servant... and if thats the kind of attitude men and women have towards each other, their marriage will be bound to suffer the consequence. marriage is all about compromising, working it out, sacrificing for the other person's happiness... and in return it should make u happy too.

[Roshina]

my cousin at the age of 13 can cook..well back home lol.

And what can you do, my dear brother?

[Feroza_Banu]

And what can you do, my dear brother?

... boost about how his cousin at age 13 can cook...

[Roshina]

They do exist.. My dad and his brothers are a dream for their wives..My mum and dad have a business entirely to do with food and they've been working as a team throughout entire marriage.

Yeah, they certainly exist. My father and brother-in-law are excellent cooks! My dad taught me how to cook, and when my mother was in Swat for several months, he and I took turns cooking for the whole family. And even now, with my mom at home with us, if he wakes up before her, he makes his own breakfast -- he'd do it for all of us, but we all wake up at different times :D And he believes everyone should know how to cook because you never know when life will test you for it.

When I'm at my sister's place, her husband cooks sometimes, and she cooks other times. Sometimes, they're both in the kitchen talking and cooking at the same time. They also practice making all these new and creative dishes, especially desserts, and it's always fun being at their place for this stuff :D You see, it REALLY helps better and strengthen the relationship as husband and wife, and it makes me very happy to see them working together. Khwdey de hamesha dasi laree, and I hope and pray that all of us turn out to be as lucky as any couple who love each other enough to work TOGETHER on things and to cooperate with each other.

And it's not like my brother-in-law was ALWAYS like this. My sister trained him As long as they both are happy this way, no one should have any objections to it. If my husband can't cook, he's gonna learn, and he'll realize this himself after a few days of being married to me.

But, yeah, I wish we didn't object to the idea of a man cooking or at least helping his wife cook! Good God! If you find it disgusting, like some males I know do, how DARE you give the "disgusting" job to the woman you CLAIM to love and be married to? And, yuck, what kind of a self-respecting woman would settle for a man who refuses to help her cook when she seeks his cooperation around household chores?

[abubaker]

wife is also for. you know...to start a family with but a men shouldn't be cooking for her and kids.

what. are you better then the prophet [sww], he used to work around the house, so why should we be ashamed

[Roshina]

Oh, and to those men who think that it's his job to "earn" money while it's his wife's job to cook and take care of other domestic chores, wake up! Do you know who works MORE? If you were to measure it, it's the housewife whose job is the most tiring of all. Try taking care of a one-year-old baby! Try bathing, feeding, cleaning, and playing with her. Try doing laundry at least thrice a week, try waking up at 6am for your husband or father who leaves for work early. In the U.S., where you can't work more than 8-9 hours a day, if your husband works, he may leave around 7 or 8am but be home by 5pm. PLUS, you get days off, the weekends and holidays. Does the wife ever get a day off from housework? Hell no, she doesn't.

So don't think just because you work and earn the money, your wife, who stays at home, is like the queen. If ALL she did was sit at home and just watch tv and have servants taking care of her, then, yes, that'd be the life of a queen. But when she's running around the house doing all these things, don't you DARE assume she's "lucky for not working! We men are required to make the money! You should be happy." Oh, please.

And then life in the east, in a rural area? Oh my! Try sitting at a nagharey, tanoor/tandoor with all this lugey in your eyes (smoke) when you're trying to build a fire to make dodai/bread. Try standing in an extremely hot kitchen where you have to make food for a household with at least 20 people (as is the case with my maternal aunts). On top of that, some wives are also required to take care of their in-laws' animals, sarwee (cows, buffalos, etc.), milking them, cleaning them, feeding them, and so on.

And you, man, you're prolly sitting in a heated office (in winter) or a cooled one (in summer), doing paperwork or teaching or writing or having debates/discussions, and you complain that you are the one who has to earn the money?!

No, don't even THINK about comparing the "jobs" of your wives to your own jobs, because when you start thinking about who does more work, the answer is: It's not you! It's your wife who stays at home all day long!

Now, if a woman chooses to just stay at home and not do anything else, and she has a very small family and no young babies running around who need to be taken care of and taught properly, then that's a different story. But that's not the average Pukhtun wife/housewife for you, at least back home.

[Feroza_Banu]

^how can someone possibly tell you what love is... u have to experience this feeling urself... sorry there aint no shortcuts.

[Gaia]

Asking me such a question in a marakah will make me........Gaia knows the rest.

Hmmm... I can fill that sentence in so many ways... None of them will make it any good to the person asking you that.

I'm thrilled with this thread!

And not surprised at all. But very positivelly admired by how strong willed you're showing yourselves to be.

Girls like you are the very reason I never let people who ask me about Pashtuns to paint you with some sort of pitty color. If nothing else, behind the veils or burqas, the shy smiles and the silent action, there are the intelligent women who hold this society together.

That you do not let these men resume you to kitchens and delivery rooms and show them their place in the household and in your lives just reaffirms how important is the role you play in strenghten Pashtuns and Afghanistan altogether.

Serious, I adore you. Way to go!

:D

[Gaia]

Cooking is not a requirement. But it boosts the lady chance of marrying a handsome Pashtun. You see handsome people like myself would want a wife who can spoon-feed me.

Ya, I said it.

hahahahhahhahahha

Yeah, you said it. And made me love this thread even more!

Shlombay, you're a cute!
Such a cute I won't make this into a political statement. You're just... cute!

[PFgulalai]

So I am quite disappointed to notice that most of them men here are quite averse to the idea of helping their wives in the household chores.
If you love and care for someone, helping her in any capacity, be it cooking or cleaning, must not hurt your 'fragile' ego.
It's another thing if you consider her as your subordiante which most likely is the case.

But, yeah, I wish we didn't object to the idea of a man cooking or at least helping his wife cook! Good God! If you find it disgusting, like some males I know do, how DARE you give the "disgusting" job to the woman you CLAIM to love and be married to? And, yuck, what kind of a self-respecting woman would settle for a man who refuses to help her cook when she seeks his cooperation around household chores?

[PFgulalai]

Gulalai.

I will help my wife alot. I will do the laundry and everything. I am a good boy Gulalali. trust me..

Awwww!!!
Yeah,we trust you,lol.Hopefully, you will get a best one who will make delicious shlombay in this hot weather!!

You ladies are too demanding nowadays.don't kill me.

And why should men complain about this?

[Dukhtar-e-Kabul]

Gulalai, They want a wife who takes orders. We ladies of PF aint taking that.

[PFgulalai]

Yes I agree with you. Initially I thought that due to their yearning for the home-cooked food, they tend to be overly sensitive towards embarking on this unholy pactice of making visits to kitchen.But I am witnessing a typical male chauvanistic attitude stemming from their devotion to the rotten beliefs of gender superiority.

Gulalai, They want a wife who takes orders. We ladies of PF aint taking that.

[Admin Khan]

Hey, Hey! No generalizing! You never know, I might be a cook.