Pashtun Family Feuds - Any solutions?

[شمله ور خراساني]

As salaamu aleikoum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,


Most Pashtuns suffer from family feuds.

Are there any solutions to get rid of this evil aspect of Pashtun culture?

[شمله ور خراساني]

and what do you mean by evil aspect of Pashtun ulture?

family feuds are evil.

[*Mahzala*]

family feuds are the result of lack of education. If we were educated we would not be burrying our own family members with our weapons.

To an extent, I might agree. But, in this instance, I think the lack of education is not the root cause. It's our faulty ways of communicating that reduce the family to fued and quarrel. I can't speak for everyone, but I believe this plays a large part in it, in the sense that the husband and wife don't often give each other a chance and resort to other means such as hitting, suspicion, silent treatment and the like. I think to an extent, it is our pride that stops us from communicating in a civil manner with our better halves. This stems from a weak marriage foundation and knowledge (and experience of course) about dealing with, avoiding and solving marital problems which results from the inability to make rational decisions about challenges that are thrown our way in life (affected greatly by life experiences). There is always a first time to everything and there is very little shame in seeking help, something we as a people will not resort to. I may be wrong, but I consider it a circle which comes back to the initial stages of planning the marriage.

[pukhtana]

Family fued is usually because of land.

99percent of the time when the father dies the two brothers get into an argument over the land. I think a solution is impossible for it considering our culture.

[شمله ور خراساني]

Family feuds are common in every environment. I know a Paghmani family of all university graduates. They regularly beat each other up over silly disputes. They consider this as an inherent aspect of being "pashtun".

[*Mahzala*]

Beat 'each other' ... you mean ... ?

[شمله ور خراساني]

Beat 'each other' ... you mean ... ?

some times bare knuckle, sometimes with sticks, sometimes with chairs, ash treys, thermos cans, tea cups. Etc.

[*Mahzala*]

Sangar ... (you joker) ... I meant by each other you mean it's not just limited to a husband and wife relationship here ...? And others are involved? (Don't tell me the wife hits her husband)

[єѕαρχαι]

Thanks God we dont have this crap in swabi

[Dreamer]

As salaamu aleikoum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,


Most Pashtuns suffer from family feuds.

Are there any solutions to get rid of this evil aspect of Pashtun culture?

hahahahhaa I dont get on with most of my family! loooooool
when they die Ill do dua 4 them simple but dont want anything 2 do with them in life

[erlangner]

no proper registeration of all the land properties in governmental institutions and then presence of government will reduce the problems.
when father dies, then automatically land will go to the sons as per rules, however for this governmental machinery needs to be active.
For the problems with girls, awareness is much essential, and at elast girls should be asked before she is married, otherwise she will leave with her friend and then the results are known.

[muhsina]

As salaamu aleikoum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,


Most Pashtuns suffer from family feuds.

Are there any solutions to get rid of this evil aspect of Pashtun culture?

The solution to a family fued depends upon the the nature of the fued. But in general it is not specifically due to Pakhtun culture,it is a part of either tribal or agrarian social values. When the culture evolves to industrial level then all those so called fueds cease to exist. Ofcourse there will be problems still but they are not of the same nature as the ones which continue in families for decades and result in the loss of life prevailing over generations. In industrial society it is rule of law and a judicial system which takes care of social conflicts and fueds in a more standard ,scientific and just manner.

[muhsina]

Thanks God we dont have this crap in swabi

We know the type of crap you have there. Its available on Youtube. Sangar's crap is much better than that. Your religeous guys call the situation "ahwan bainal baliyatain" [lesser evil among the two]. Dont you?

[شمله ور خراساني]

Sangar ... (you joker) ... I meant by each other you mean it's not just limited to a husband and wife relationship here ...? And others are involved? (Don't tell me the wife hits her husband)

An Afghan man in Holland was severely beaten by his wife. He suffered various injuries and was in bed for days.

Hi wife was angry because 20 years ago she was forcebly married to him in Afghanistan. But now, in the liberal society, she found out that she has rights. So she generously made use of her "right. ... And left... .... and kicks. Oh and a a frying pan.

[Palwasha]

^Omg, that's awful!

Best solution is to just avoid the feuds, bite your tongue, to prevent the issue escalating.