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^ We most definitely are, Kandaharaya..
You know, Dr. Rahmany, an Afghan psychologist observed that most of us Afghans suffer from inferiority complexes just because of the way we were brought up. As little kids, many of us were compared to other children, they'd say, "look XY has long and pretty hair, she is pale, she got straight A's." or "XX is strong, he does this, he does that." and that of course influences us severely on a psychological level.
From personal experience, I can report that.. there was this boy I grew up with and he was barely a month older than me.. and in order to make his son "better", his father would always compare him to me because I was the only kid around that was his age. So he'd say, "Look, Mayana only speaks Pashto with her parents, why don't you?" or "Look, Mayana finished this much of her Sefara, why didn't you?" or "Look Mayana finished her food, why didn't you?" and these are just a few examples that I can give because I was very little and can't remembers it all.. but the boy remembers all these things vividly and 'til this day, remind me of it. After 10 years, he told me "Mayana, when we were little, you'd always hurry and eat and finish your plate and then show your plate to your father and blink with your eyes and say: Wogora Baba, maa Ghaab daghasi paak kay!' and I'd always get in trouble." And he even mocked my facial expression while saying that.. while I couldn't even remember this incident LOL
And as the years passed, whenever a school term would be over, he'd call and ask what kind of grades I got and what my GPA was.. because he saw me as a competitor, you know? He wanted to be better than me so he could finally satisfy his father. And.. until this day he has not succeeded because his father STILL compares him to me and others.. and all this results in him feeling alienated and hostile against his own parents.
And all this just shows how the way some of us have been brought up affects us to such an extend that it LIMITS us in our own abilities and our own potential. This guy for example.. will always go around tryna live up to his father's ridiculous standards and he won't achieve it because his father will always find someone better to compare him to.. so he won't ever find that true happiness, you know? And this applies to many many people, we are insecure AND have inferiority complexes because of our upbringing.. which is due to the (double-)standards of our society.
You know, Dr. Rahmany, an Afghan psychologist observed that most of us Afghans suffer from inferiority complexes just because of the way we were brought up. As little kids, many of us were compared to other children, they'd say, "look XY has long and pretty hair, she is pale, she got straight A's." or "XX is strong, he does this, he does that." and that of course influences us severely on a psychological level.
From personal experience, I can report that.. there was this boy I grew up with and he was barely a month older than me.. and in order to make his son "better", his father would always compare him to me because I was the only kid around that was his age. So he'd say, "Look, Mayana only speaks Pashto with her parents, why don't you?" or "Look, Mayana finished this much of her Sefara, why didn't you?" or "Look Mayana finished her food, why didn't you?" and these are just a few examples that I can give because I was very little and can't remembers it all.. but the boy remembers all these things vividly and 'til this day, remind me of it. After 10 years, he told me "Mayana, when we were little, you'd always hurry and eat and finish your plate and then show your plate to your father and blink with your eyes and say: Wogora Baba, maa Ghaab daghasi paak kay!' and I'd always get in trouble." And he even mocked my facial expression while saying that.. while I couldn't even remember this incident LOL
And as the years passed, whenever a school term would be over, he'd call and ask what kind of grades I got and what my GPA was.. because he saw me as a competitor, you know? He wanted to be better than me so he could finally satisfy his father. And.. until this day he has not succeeded because his father STILL compares him to me and others.. and all this results in him feeling alienated and hostile against his own parents.
And all this just shows how the way some of us have been brought up affects us to such an extend that it LIMITS us in our own abilities and our own potential. This guy for example.. will always go around tryna live up to his father's ridiculous standards and he won't achieve it because his father will always find someone better to compare him to.. so he won't ever find that true happiness, you know? And this applies to many many people, we are insecure AND have inferiority complexes because of our upbringing.. which is due to the (double-)standards of our society.
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