Our identity on the slide

[torkham]

Here is a thought that preoccupies me, amongst others.
What will be the identity of my progeny if they choose to live in the west? Many PF members live, study, work, make homes in the west (like the toronto crew, the london boys, the aussie 'ghans', etc).
We are sticking to our culture and hewad by speaking pashto, maintaining cultural, political and social dialogues, by ties such as weddings we attend of pashtun family and friends, but will our next generation hold fast as we do? Our parents, and grandparents lived in watan, for them there wasn't this issue, their issues were fundamental: job, health, education, marraiges, family disputes, (security, war) not like identity, integration etc

So my questions to the forum:

Are you through and through Afghan or are you for, instance Afghan-American, or British Afghan etc? Have you assimilated or integrated? Do you think it will impinge on your or your childrens identity?

How do you deal with the fact that you or your progeny will become a step away from our parents' culture?

Does it worry you? Should it worry us?


I am concerned, maybe bcz I am older or maybe I am a nationalistic, or pashtunegocentric, or the kaliwal is in my blood.

[Subhan]

My family have largely become Urdu-speakers culturally and linguistically, but we are genetically Pashtun.

I consider myself to be of Afghan and North Indian Muslim descent, as both my father's and my mother's tribes are from Greater Paktia, essentially and the Mohajir community some of my relatives have married into and have been assimilated in, is generally mixed; of Pashtun (Rohilla) and Indian origins.

My mother's family are Rohillas (Pashtuns who migrated to the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh and eventually, lost their language and adopted the local customs), while my father's family are from the unsettled Kharoti Kuchi tribe, though my paternal grandmother was a Zazaii from Parachinar.

My grandfather settled in Karachi, Pakistan, where my father and his siblings were born. They later moved to England in the 1970s and remained there.

I have a Pakistani NIC, so I am technically a citizen of Pakistan, but my nationality is British since I was born in England and possess a red passport.

However, I grew up in various cities of Pakistan and have never lived in England for more than a year at a time.

I do not have a British accent and I do not necessarily fit in with the other "Asian" kids.

To overcome this whole identity crisis melodrama, my wife will be a Pashtana and our children will be speaking Pashto as their first language.

[یاسمینه]

I'm not a Pashtun... but I think that Pashtuns living in the Western/emigration in multigenerational families are able to preserve their culture and language. It's what I noticed about other ethnic minorities.

[Karachi]

preserving culture is pretty hard here in the west, at some point or another people start loosing their culture and values.

[Amir al Ghaznavi]

Im a canadian of afghan descent,
Its dishonest of me to pretend otherwise

With the kids, the slide is inevitable

[randolph85]

we need a back to afghanistan movement. if only those sobs would get their acts together.

the piece of **** russians went home like nothing happened, but left us with lost generations.

[Amir al Ghaznavi]

Randolph is right the problem is we cant go back home

[Talal]

Torkham sooner or later, and it seems more sooner than later cultures will become irrelevant..tis the sad truth

[IamDZJ]

i compare the difference between my cousins and siblings that were either born or came here at a younger age to those of us who were older when we came here and the results are pretty shocking. we are still the first generation so one can only imagine what the second or third would turn out like. i think if parents try hard enough they can succeed in passing the culture and language to their children but only to a certain extent. if they grow up showing no interest then there is nothing anyone can do about it.
i don't like the idea of having children someday but if i change my mind then i will definitely raise them in afghanistan.

[Aryob]

Great question torkham, that's something that has bothered me over past some time. But i'd like to take your concern to the next level (and it might be harsh for some of us).
Who will benefit if I preserve my language and culture and live in the west? Will Afghanistan/Pakhtunkhwa benefit from it? Will the people who live in that region benefit from it? Or is my craze for my identity search helping the language/culture at all?

My answer to all is NO, unfortunately those who live in the west (I'll include myself for now) are not doing anything for Afghanistan/Pakhtunkhwa and are not leaving any positive impact on the culture/language either. We are rather more interested in associating ourselves with the Pakhtun/Afghan race because of its Indo-European, white complexion, green eyes, dirty brown hair. I've seen people worshiping Sharbat-gula (The National Geographic blue/green eyed Afghan girl) over Ahmad Shah Baba or Sayed Jamuluddin Afghani or Mirwais Neeka. Most of us love Bacha Khan because he's our response to Nelson Mandela and Ghandhi to the rest of the world. We love that tall and handsome fellow because he belonged to the same race as I do, not because who he was and what he has achieved.

we can not preserve our culture in one state, culture is evolutional and our Pashtun culture evolution in the west is at its highest speed. In fact most of us here do not follow the fundamental Pakhto, we rather follow some riwajoona.

as far as i'm concerned. I'd love to go back to shahr-e naw, pule mahmood khan or charasiab and open up a university probably in charasiab area so that all poor can benefit especially the Pakhtun along that belt (south kabul, logar & Paktia). Provide quality education to the max for reasonable fee. And YES I can live there, If I can survive here on a friday/sat nights I'm sure I can survive Kabul's dust and traffic in sray-shahzadah, after all those people are so social and loving.

[Shehbaz Khan]

The thing is you must be connected to the place you belong. Secondly you will be connected only if you would be thinking that someday you will go back. Today if I say that I will be living my whole life in Karachi that's a problem and none of my family membe is going to support this. At some point of time we will go back, go back to some place nearer to Pekhawar or Pekhawar itself.
That is why we pay almost one or two visits to Pekhawar every year for 'Kali-Olas' And its important.

[Michin Khel]

What would be your response when tommorow your son or daughter would decide to marry a non-afghan/Pashtun?(in worst case scenario a non-muslim)..because as for as i know when your children in west cross 18, they become independant, can decide for themeselves and you cant force your decisions upon them....my father was tranferred to london, UK just for 3 years but he rejected the option and requested the office for Qatar or Behrain. He did this for sake of family otherwise UK was best option to transfer there. Similarly he rejected beljium and chose libiya...i am thankful to my father that he chose only those countries which were muslim, where there were large pakistani community and pakistan schools.... I would follow foot steps of my father and would care alot about my children with respect to langauge, religion and traditions....Some of my friends with poor background have dream to go to foriegn countries, but i dont need to settle in foriegn countries, here in pakistan i have "life" , i have my village... in village i have my relatives and kiliwals who will always socialize and interacts with you, they will participate in your happaniess and grief..graves of my ancestors are there, so will be mine....
lonely and individual life in west !! I was reading thread of karachi in which he stated his problem that he is 28 but still unmarried, and i think it is problem with many in the west. Especially afghan communities in west are very tiny....Afghanistan is not ideal for settling back, but those from KP should seriously think about coming back if they care about identity of their future kids.

[Badlun]

If we consider the scope of things and its sphere of influence then it wont be a grave matter.

We are Pashtuns linguistically, culturally, socially, anthropologically, biologically, racially and ethnically. If we maintain attachment to our language, culture, society then no peril is there. Genes, anthropology, biology and race can never change.

Speaking, reading, writing Pashto with kids will be a great step to maintain our identity. participating in social events attended by Pashtuns should be part of our social life. Reading history of Pashtuns and studying Pashtunwali should be part of private education at homes.

Internet forums like PF can play tremendous role in this regard.

Politically we can be citizen of any country. Even religiously we may belong to any religion or even be atheist.This wont be a clash with our identity being a Pashtun.

[Master Khan]

As long as you visit your home land once a year then you and your children will learn from those trips back home, if you just stay in the west, speak foreign language with your kids (e.g. English) then you might as well just not call yourself Pashtun.

I decided already that I won't stay here in the UK forever Inshallah, I will go back home forever and teach my kids about our culture, history and language Inshallah.

[Michin Khel]

As long as you visit your home land once a year then you and your children will learn from those trips back home, if you just stay in the west, speak foreign language with your kids (e.g. English) then you might as well just not call yourself Pashtun.

I decided already that I won't stay here in the UK forever Inshallah, I will go back home forever and teach my kids about our culture, history and language Inshallah.

And when you will settle permenantly in swabi, you would become a paki lol