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Afghan Tradition Makes
Room For Girls
By Frud Bezhan, Salih Mohammad Salih
November 21, 2011
"Say three amens," shouts a bearded old man, reading from a weathered
book of poetry.
"A girl was born into this world as beautiful as the moon in the sky;
Pray for her as she is a flower blossoming in the spring;
She is like a beaming light that has brightened this house;
She is an angel that has come to us from the land of fairytales."
"Say three amens," he roars again.
In reciting the words of the recently written poem, the community elder is
doing more than celebrating the birth of a daughter to Ahmad
Mohammadyor, a local writer. He is challenging long-entrenched patriarchal
tradition in southern Afghanistan.
There, the birth of a girl is often cause for shame, not celebration. And
traditional ceremonies called nashrah, which mark the birth of a child, are
reserved for boys.
Mohammadyor, who authored the poem to honor his daughter's arrival,
notes that in many parts of Afghanistan only boys can inherit a father's
wealth and pass down the family name.
"In backward societies, women have always been considered inferior," he
says. "Unfortunately, in our society they are not even treated like human
beings. The international community and some of our leaders preach the
rights of women, but in reality some of them don't practice this. A good
example is those who talk about education, but they don't even allow their
own daughters to go to school."
Breaking Tradition Of Male Domination
Through his nashrah poem, Mohammadyor hopes to help break the tradition
of male domination in his home region. The ritual of nashrah goes back
hundreds of years in Afghanistan, but today is primarily performed in
Kandahar, in the south of the country.
The ceremony gathers dozens of family members, friends, and neighbors as
they celebrate a new birth in the community. The ceremony begins with a
pious member of the family reciting folkloric poetry and goodwill prayers,
followed by a feast, music, and, dancing.
The poems that are read out at the ceremony honor the newborn and also
contain advice for parents on how to raise the child to be a valuable
member of society.
One of the poems preaches:
"It is up to you to keep this light going;
Keep it safe until it beams brighter;
Until it lights this house and the whole neighborhood;
Accept this gift and be thankful to God."
In a patriarchal society like that of Afghanistan there is significant social
pressure to have sons. In some cases, this has even led Afghan families to
disguise their daughters as sons.
Without a son, some families decide to invent one, typically by cutting a
daughter's hair and dressing her in boys' clothing. In most cases, girls
return to womanhood once they reach puberty.
The practice is driven mostly by economic necessity, social pressure, and
sometimes a superstition that doing it can lead to the birth of a real boy in
the future.
Age-Old Discrimination
A pretend son, called bacha posh in Dari, can improve a family's reputation.
It also makes it easier for a girl to receive an education, work outside the
home, and even accompany women in public, freedoms that are rare for
girls in a country where men and women are strictly segregated in public
life.
Mohammadyor says that such practices are often fueled by a lack of
knowledge and traditional prejudices against women. He says it is up to the
educated segments of society to change these traditions and "pave the
way for a positive future."
"Instead of preaching to others about gender equality, they should first
lead by example and act on their ideas," he says. "Only then will people
trust their words and follow them by example."
For Mohammadyor, performing the nashrah ritual for his daughter is his
small contribution to changing the many age-old traditions that continue to
discriminate against women in Afghanistan.
"Having a daughter is a blessing from God and gives one a unique happiness
in life," he says. "Daughters are the source of love and the sweetest gift
that a father can receive."
Afghan Tradition Makes Room For Girls
Room For Girls
By Frud Bezhan, Salih Mohammad Salih
November 21, 2011
"Say three amens," shouts a bearded old man, reading from a weathered
book of poetry.
"A girl was born into this world as beautiful as the moon in the sky;
Pray for her as she is a flower blossoming in the spring;
She is like a beaming light that has brightened this house;
She is an angel that has come to us from the land of fairytales."
"Say three amens," he roars again.
In reciting the words of the recently written poem, the community elder is
doing more than celebrating the birth of a daughter to Ahmad
Mohammadyor, a local writer. He is challenging long-entrenched patriarchal
tradition in southern Afghanistan.
There, the birth of a girl is often cause for shame, not celebration. And
traditional ceremonies called nashrah, which mark the birth of a child, are
reserved for boys.
Mohammadyor, who authored the poem to honor his daughter's arrival,
notes that in many parts of Afghanistan only boys can inherit a father's
wealth and pass down the family name.
"In backward societies, women have always been considered inferior," he
says. "Unfortunately, in our society they are not even treated like human
beings. The international community and some of our leaders preach the
rights of women, but in reality some of them don't practice this. A good
example is those who talk about education, but they don't even allow their
own daughters to go to school."
Breaking Tradition Of Male Domination
Through his nashrah poem, Mohammadyor hopes to help break the tradition
of male domination in his home region. The ritual of nashrah goes back
hundreds of years in Afghanistan, but today is primarily performed in
Kandahar, in the south of the country.
The ceremony gathers dozens of family members, friends, and neighbors as
they celebrate a new birth in the community. The ceremony begins with a
pious member of the family reciting folkloric poetry and goodwill prayers,
followed by a feast, music, and, dancing.
The poems that are read out at the ceremony honor the newborn and also
contain advice for parents on how to raise the child to be a valuable
member of society.
One of the poems preaches:
"It is up to you to keep this light going;
Keep it safe until it beams brighter;
Until it lights this house and the whole neighborhood;
Accept this gift and be thankful to God."
In a patriarchal society like that of Afghanistan there is significant social
pressure to have sons. In some cases, this has even led Afghan families to
disguise their daughters as sons.
Without a son, some families decide to invent one, typically by cutting a
daughter's hair and dressing her in boys' clothing. In most cases, girls
return to womanhood once they reach puberty.
The practice is driven mostly by economic necessity, social pressure, and
sometimes a superstition that doing it can lead to the birth of a real boy in
the future.
Age-Old Discrimination
A pretend son, called bacha posh in Dari, can improve a family's reputation.
It also makes it easier for a girl to receive an education, work outside the
home, and even accompany women in public, freedoms that are rare for
girls in a country where men and women are strictly segregated in public
life.
Mohammadyor says that such practices are often fueled by a lack of
knowledge and traditional prejudices against women. He says it is up to the
educated segments of society to change these traditions and "pave the
way for a positive future."
"Instead of preaching to others about gender equality, they should first
lead by example and act on their ideas," he says. "Only then will people
trust their words and follow them by example."
For Mohammadyor, performing the nashrah ritual for his daughter is his
small contribution to changing the many age-old traditions that continue to
discriminate against women in Afghanistan.
"Having a daughter is a blessing from God and gives one a unique happiness
in life," he says. "Daughters are the source of love and the sweetest gift
that a father can receive."
Afghan Tradition Makes Room For Girls